Sunday, 06 December 2009

  • "I Didn't Wait and I Never Planned To."


    Source

    I'm really getting sick of all these sex before marriage posts. Everyone has different beliefs, whether for personal reasons, religious reasons, or no reason. I don't really care if someone wants to wait until marriage to have sex. I have friends who are waiting and I support them 100% because that's what they want. For myself, well I didn't wait for marriage and I never planned to. I just wanted to wait for someone who became my best friend, someone I trusted, and someone whom I love and loved me back. Am I wrong for thinking that way? No, because it's what I felt is right for me. Are my friends who wait for marriage to have sex wrong? No, because that's what they feel is right for them. So really, there's no ultimate right or wrong. Each individual has their own thing that works for them and even though it might not be what you believe is right for you, you still need to have respect for them.

    Ultimately, the most important thing about sex is that you are 100% ready when you engage in the act. This means understanding all the emotional and physical consequences! Sex connects you to another person, it doesn't matter if its a one night stand or a long-term monogamous relationship. When you have sex you give a part of yourself to your partner that you will never get back. If you're okay with that then there's no need to worry. But be aware that while sex can make you happy, relaxed, satisfied and make two people feel closer to each other, it also causes anxiety, embarrassment, and resentment. So be aware of your situation. Realize that having sex is the humans method of reproduction, so either use multiple methods of birth control or be prepared to care for a baby at some point! Also, be aware of all the diseases that can be transmitted. Know how to protect yourself from all the diseases and make sure you and your partner are getting regular check-ups.

    As long as these above things are understood and taken into action then I don't care who has sex with who, when they do it, and whether or not they are married!

    Do you think it's more important to wait until you are married, or for someone you trust and want to be with? How did you know when you were ready? Did you think you were ready to have sex and later realize you hadn't been?

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Comments (88)

  • laytexduckie@xanga

    Thank you.

    I still think that it's up to that person to decide. Just as long as they aren't pressured into it and actually ready. This whole "premarital sex" is really annoying. Let people decide for themselves and stop bitching.
  • xclevermealsx@xanga

    Awesome post :)

    I was much like you...I just waited for it to be the right person. I have never regretted it. To each their own!
  • tokyoexpressman@xanga

    My opinion is that it's none of my business when, where, and how someone chooses to lose their virginity and when, where, and how I lost mine shouldn't be theirs. I don't see why people squabble so much over something that's an extremely personal choice. You want to wait till marriage? That's great. You don't want to? Also great.

    This whole back-and-forth battle between the marital and premarital camps is, excuse the language, fucking ridiculous. All this cockamamie crap with one group of people calling the other "prudes" and the other group calling the first group "sluts" while both sides claim that they're being unfairly targeted and repressed is so blown out of proportion, it's past ridiculous.

  • Inaheartbeatx@xanga

    I don't know how I knew. I guess with my boyfriend, I've never been closer or more comfortable around any other guy than I have him Not even any ex's. We talk about anything and everything, and I mean literally.  We're best friends. I love him with everything I have. I just knew that the time was right, I don't regret the decision at all, nor will I ever. Even if things were to end.  The time was right for me. 

    But I 100% support my friends who are waiting also. I think there is a lot of pressure from both sides, towards each other. Trying to convince them that what they decide is right. Well, neither decision is really "right" .  It's whatever the person / people feel.  Personal Decisions.   They can't be wrong.
  • schallerbrandon@xanga

    I agree. Quit trying to control our sex organs. I am talking to you, Roman Catholic Church!
  • eyeluhveyewx3@xanga

    @tokyoexpressman@xanga - exactly.
  • mi_piaci

    great post.

    I just wanted to wait for someone who became my best friend, someone I trusted, and someone whom I love and loved me back.
    that's exactly how i felt. you actually probably said it better than i did in the post i wrote...
  • Hurin2020@xanga

    I feel the same way as you.  As long as it's someone whom you feel is right for you, someone you trust and want to be with, then it's fine before or after marriage - I won't go so far as to say someone you love though most likely that's who the person will be based on the previous criteria(s).
  • lilly__vanilly@xanga

    Personally, I didn't wait and never planned to either. I don't think it matters if you're married or not as long as you trust and love the person. I didn't think "well, I think I'm ready now".. it just kind of happened. It all felt very natural. So, I guess it was the right time.
  • XoAsianBabioX@xanga

    i'm with you!
  • QuantumStorm@xanga

    //No, because it's what I felt is right for me. Are my friends who wait
    for marriage to have sex wrong? No, because that's what they feel is
    right for them.//

    Feel? You had sex based on how you FEEL? Bullshit. Making choices based on feelings is stupid at best.

    //Do you think it's more important to wait until you are married, or for someone you trust and want to be with?//

    I think it's stupid that you imply a dichotomy between the two concepts.

  • QuantumStorm@xanga

    @schallerbrandon@xanga - You mean rape is actually okay now?
  • cornyonacob@xanga

    lol i probably won't even get the chance to have sex until i get married.

    so whatevs! :P
  • leavingeverything@xanga

    @QuantumStorm@xanga - You seem to be the biggest troll I've ever seen. I commend you.
  • QuantumStorm@xanga

    @leavingeverything@xanga - So far I've contributed more to this discussion than you have. If anyone is the troll, it's not me. So do you have anything to say on the subject or will you resort to lamely trying to pass off as an excuse for a troll?
  • leavingeverything@xanga

    @QuantumStorm@xanga - No you are quite clearly the troll. And there is nothing to contribute to the discussion because the discussion is opinion based. And who wants to argue about other peoples' opinions anyway right? It's a cyclical arguement so no matter what is said it all leads right back around. But I will reiterate, I do believe you are the bigget and most effective troll I've seen in a decently long time. And I commend you for that.
  • QuantumStorm@xanga

    @leavingeverything@xanga - //And there is nothing to contribute to the discussion because the discussion is opinion based.//

    And that means nothing can be contributed? That we cannot say "I think A is stupid" or "I think X is cool" or "I'm not sure about Q"? Opinions may have little to no factual merit but they provide insight into other people's minds as well as provide perspectives we may have not seen before.

    //And who wants to argue about other peoples'
    opinions anyway right? It's a cyclical arguement so no matter what is
    said it all leads right back around.//

    Even if in the end you don't change the other person's mind, there is merit to be had in understanding the positions that a person adopts.

    // But I will reiterate, I do believe
    you are the bigget and most effective troll I've seen in a decently
    long time. And I commend you for that.//

    Once again, the troll title, if it goes to anyone, goes to you. I have already provided my two cents on this subject while you have tried (and failed) to play the troll. Providing irrelevant commentary on other users and then CONTINUING to respond to my comments, for example. However if you really feel that I'm a troll, then DNFTT.
  • leavingeverything@xanga

    @QuantumStorm@xanga - //And that means nothing can be contributed?//


    In this discussion there are two sides. You pick one or the other. I haven't seen one comment that retains any insight other than siding A or B.


    //Once again, the troll title goes to you. I have already provided my two cents on this subject while you have tried (and failed) to play the troll. Providing irrelevant commentary on other users and then CONTINUING to respond to my comments, for example. However if you really feel that I'm a troll, then DNFTT//


    I don't believe I carry the troll title in this conversation as I am as you've stated above the troll feeder. And as for the subject, if my two cents were worth a damn, I side with personal choice over waiting until marriage.  FEEDING FEEDING FEEDING ARE YOU FULL YET?!
  • feelslikejuly@xanga

    @schallerbrandon@xanga - blame the non-denominational Christian churches as well.
  • QuantumStorm@xanga

    @leavingeverything@xanga - //And as for the subject, if my two cents were
    worth a damn, I side with personal choice over waiting until marriage. 
    FEEDING FEEDING FEEDING ARE YOU FULL YET?!//

    Irrelevant commentary... lame attempt to salvage your position by giving a token contribution... and then, topping it off with all-caps nonsense. Yep, you're clearly a troll

  • leavingeverything@xanga

    @QuantumStorm@xanga - 


    //Irrelevant commentary... lame attempt to salvage your position by giving a token contribution... and then, topping it off with all-caps nonsense. Yep, you're clearly a troll //


    Commentary was relevant to the discussion. Feeble attempt to satisfy you're need for contribution. And the caps made sense in context. And if I am clearly the troll then you are now feeding!
  • QuantumStorm@xanga

    @leavingeverything@xanga - //Feeble attempt to satisfy you're need for contribution.//

    Spelling fail, bud.

    As for your point on personal choice, I agree, people should have the right to choose - however I think making choices based on emotions is a bad idea.

    //And if I am clearly the troll then you are now feeding!//

    I don't mind feeding trolls... usually once you feed them enough, they explode

  • leavingeverything@xanga

    @QuantumStorm@xanga - //Spelling fail, bud.//


    Actually spelling and grammtical problems there. A rather hypocritical one at that. I hate it when people use 'you're' when they clearly intended 'your'.


    //As for your point on personal choice, I agree, people should have the right to choose - however I think making choices based on emotions is a bad idea. //


    I can definately see where making decisions soley based on emotions is a recipe for doom. There needs to be a balance of left brained and right brained thinking. Logic and emotion need to be used in unison without interferring with each other which makes sex such a difficult subject for people.


    //


    I don't mind feeding trolls... usually once you feed them enough, they explode //


    That is true if by 'explode' you mean 'has a 7 a.m. class in the morning and needs sleep'.
  • RazorBladeParade@xanga

    I really don't care about other people's sex lives. But I'm glad you wrote this so I didn't have to. Lol
  • schallerbrandon@xanga

    @QuantumStorm@xanga - Earn a response you filthy slacker!

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