Sunday, 06 December 2009
-
Do You Think Double Standards are Antiquated Notions?
After a little more than a decade of dating, I've only genuinely flirted with 3 people in my life that I was interested in. From that small group, I've dated only two. One being my notable ex, the other guy just got married this year. I'm not really a flirtatious person, more serious and I can be demure. I've only dated a lot because I'm easy-going and the opposite gender is easily comfortable with me.
I couldn't help but overhear a couple university guys talking about how educated girls behave with those they are physically attracted to. The so-called Librarian syndrome where a girl may seem docile but is really aggressive in her intimate relationships. I suppose I would fit that category only when I am dating someone I'm comfortable with despite my attractions.
I don't think it's fair that these guys could make assumptions on the woman's character based on how they interact with men in relationships. Sure it might reflect something about them but women change and only learn how to interact with experience. I would say unless you are a gentlemen to them, you have no right to judge.
In my opinion, if a woman is independent she should be able to make independent decisions in her personal life as well aside from what society expects of her.
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: Parsimony@xanga
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 15 Views: 0 29370 Comments: 0 433 View all posts by Parsimony@xanga
Comments (13)
wait what? librarian syndrome?
i think librarians are cranky old pms-y women, lol.
the people who thought this up must have been fantasizing a little too much.
either way, i'm still kind of traditionalist. overly assertives females = meh.
Do you mean that educated girls are tigers in bed? That kind of thing? Most guys say that cause generally it is true. They tend to withhold themselves for only those that are special and thus their actions with them mean more(absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that). Its not a double standard just a generalization.
As for the last part from what I've heard is that guys want a girl that is really docile generally but an animal in the bedroom. I personally do not agree with it but just thought I should put that out there. I personally like a (specific) girl that is very independent in her personal life as well as her regular life(being too docile is a big put off for me cause it gets really boring fast).lol i think people are just judgmental no matter what the topic. and i think the librarian thing is a fantasy if anything :) don't worry so much!
I just don't act docile
Period.
(and yes, I'm one of those driven academic types)
ohh, do you know what the punishment is for overdue books, young man?
i'm not docile ever. but i spend more time in labs than in libraries.
...hhmm... i think it is more fair to judge how someone would interact in a relationship by how they interact in their present one (unless they are pretending to be someone else, it seems logical), than it would be to base it on gender, hair color, style, political views, etc.
granted there are flaws in this, like if a woman physically abuses the person she is with, maybe that person did something horrible. to me it is like listening to half of a conversation on a phone. the convo may be about pickling cucumbers, but if all i hear is "you want me to put it in there? wouldn't it get dirty? *giggles* well... i'll wait for you to show me how it's done", pickling isn't the first thing to my mind.but the key is that if she dated a loser that did something to cause the beating, if i ask her out then i may be the next one in that same position (this may seem irrational but it works). most people don't date up... just around. jerk daters, will consistently date jerks. musicians will date instruments. and the washer will date the dryer (clothes washing machines).
i agree partially with you opinion at the end, the change being i think it should be all people not just women.
@my_favorite_song@xanga - LOL. damn, i need to stop picturing an old, cranky, wrinkled woman for that! ahhh!! grossss. XD
Not exactly sure what the point of this was...but I'm guessing you don't like being stereotyped...doesn't really have anything to do with double standards though.
Anyway people stereotype people because in general a majority, or at least a majority of the people they've interacted with, have those traits. I don't think it's a bad thing saying a quiet girl in the library is aggressive and active in the bedroom. You know someone would just complain if it was the other way around too. "Oh she's a bookworm, you know they just lay there and would rather read a book than have sex."
@JusticeCho@xanga - True about stereotypes. I changed the blog title in the last minute so it doesn't relate much to the blog but the general point is that women should not be judged on their character based on how they behave in the bedroom. They should also have the liberty to behave whichever way they like or choose so long as they know the consequences for it.
this reminds me of the cute guy that works at the library.
Of course a woman doesn't have to adhere to what society says a woman should have to act like. No one does, no matter their gender.
Those guys are probably a prime example of guys to stay away from. :p Maybe they'll wise up with time, right now they need time to grow up and mature, themselves.
But, some guys remain boys their whole lives. You just have to watch out for those. :p Its hard to tell sometimes when the body doesn't match the juvenile mindset.
@JusticeCho@xanga - The double standards is that those guys were flippantly judging these young women when they are/were behaving and participating in quite the same manner, The point is that why can't women behave a certain way notwithstanding more biological functions.