Saturday, 05 December 2009

• Why Men Are Hot

  In response to DearRicky, I've decided that I should comment on why men are hot.  All men.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  Men have the ability to raise me up, to tear me down, to cry, to laugh, to fear, and to rejoice.  I want to be their buddy, someone they can always talk to, someone they respect because I can shoot pool as well as them, or know some comics as well, or like the same music, or can throw a ball just as well.
  I want to be someone they're in awe of, because I can do something they would never have the patience or the practice to do.
  I want their love, because to be loved by someone that is so diverse and interesting and beautiful as they are would be enlightening to my soul.
  I (quite naturally, I think) want to wow them, every day.  Not because I want attention, but because I want respect, love, and appreciation from them.
  
  A second glance from a man can make me raise my head and chin, make me feel confident in myself.  A nod can make me feel like I exist.  A smile makes me feel like I've found a new friend.  A glancing touch (depending on the person) can make my heart race.
  All in all, men can, without a doubt, make me feel fantastic.
  
  Now... on to men and away from me.  A man is everything I am not - he will complete me, make me perfect.  He is strong when I am weak, he is there to care for me when I can't care for myself, and he lets me nurture him when I need to care.  He always smells good to me, whether it's sweat, cologne, or sawdust that I smell on him.  It's manly, and so it's hot.  He is a steady shoulder for support, a warm body to embrace, strong arms to lift me when I fall, and sensibility when my hormones are going crazy.
  
  Men can be anything, and are everything.
  
  The geeks/nerds/gamers.  They love comic books, they play Magic, they teach me how to play chess and (eventually) show me how to beat them, they can fix my computer any time, no matter what the problem (as long as I supply the parts) or know someone who can.  They have a wide range of music (Japanese from anime or the theme song from Portal is on their iPod).  They can add little programs here and there on my laptop to make my life a little easier, they can write html code to make my xanga look amazing and give me a great layout.  They are stereotyped as nervous and skittish around girls...but not always.  They tend to be sweet (once they mature), and appreciate a girl for her looks (and any resemblance to Chun-Li, Lara Croft, or Jill Valentine) and smarts (like understanding the algorithm to solve a rubik's cube every time).  Guys who know the science behind "If I were an enzyme, I would be a DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes", are hot.
  Guys who can write a "virus" that will make an "I love you" pop-up on my laptop every morning are hot.
  Guys who think I'm more beautiful than Tina Armstrong (from Dead or Alive) are hot.
  
  The artists.  They draw, paint, sculpt art, write a poem, or play/sing a song, just to make me feel better.  They express what they feel through their art, and then put it on display for everyone to see.  In that way, they are freely open with what they feel, but not directly.  They can show so much emotion it nearly matches or sometimes surpasses my own.  Men who are that open are hot.
  
  Short guys.  They don't set out to be intimidating, and don't rely on their imposing appearance to get their point across.  They have to have a LOT more going on for them to make an impression.  They are (no pun intended) more on my own level.  I can wrap my arms around them and not have to jump, and sleep in their arms without being halfway down their chest.  Guys who's eyes I can look into are hot.
  
  Tall guys.  They can get stuff off high shelves for me, they can pick me up and never let my toes touch the ground (which I love).  Their big hands are great for back rubs, and carrying multiple bags of groceries (so I don't have to push the shopping cart out to my car).  When sentimental, it comes from such a big being that the sentiment is, in itself, huge.  Guys who look intimidating at first, but are as gentle as can possibly be, are hot.
  
  Gay men.  They are fashionable, usually have great taste, are blunt about answers, and can give me honest opinions (from a man's perspective) without involving romantic feelings (or trying to cover their own ass).  One of my best friends is a gay man, and I value him as much as anyone else.  Men who will tell me that I look god-awful in this dress, but pull another one off the rack that I will look fantastic in, are hot.
  
  Buff guys.  They have big strong arms to put around me, and can always carry me over puddles.  They might be a football player that I can cheer on at the college game on Saturday, they might be my fireman best friend that can drag a fire hose up 5 flights of stairs and still not be winded.  Guys with muscles are hot.
  
  Skinny/scrawny guys.  I can fit my arms around skinny guys.  I can cook the biggest fattening meal for them and they won't complain.  They can be cross country runners or punk skateboarders, but they still have clothes I can borrow if ever in a pinch, and they always leave enough room for me to snuggle on the couch.  Guys who always leave room for me are hot.
  
  Big guys.  They enjoy life, or they seem to.  I've never seen a better gut-laugh then one I've seen come out of a big man.  The bear hug originates with this type of man, I swear (and I LOVE hugs).  They are warm, snuggly, and comforting.  When I embrace a big guy, I always feel a sense of safety and comfort - always.  They are protectors, strength and safety in one form, and it's wonderful - and hot.
  
  Soccer (a.k.a Football) players.  My roommate and I always say that boys who play soccer are the best in body form.  That, or swimmers.  They have the greatest bodies, the best stamina, and a decent attention span.  ...just realized how wrongly that could be taken.    Sweaty steady strong guys are hot.
  
  Quiet guys.  They have SO much about them to be discovered, and open up only to those that know them best.  Know the phrase "It's always the quiet ones"?  It's completely true.  They'll be silent as the grave, and then one day, BAM - surprise the hell out of me.  Surprising guys are hot.
  
  Fraternity guys, because they're never afraid to sing loudly at my window in the middle of the night.  They can make almost any situation fun, and can ease tension like no one else.  Added to that, they're fantastically networked, and can get information that no one else can (that is, if you're still on a college campus).  Even past college, they know people everywhere.  And hopefully, they've met their fair share of fake girls, so they know a good one when they see her.  A charismatic connected man is hot.
  
  Cowboys.  They're okay with quiet, and being out in nature, away from everything.  They have a way with animals, and (according to my roommate) "they know how to fix things, because they usually grew up on farms" (she's fixated on Hugh Jackman's character in Oklahoma).  The sun, stars, and moon are what rules their day, instead of alarm clocks, light switches, and cellphones.  Men who make me forget the troubles of a busy world and are like nature in its pure form are hot.
  
  Long-haired guys.  Nothing like being able to run my fingers through your hair.  They have that rebellious look to them, and that's always attractive.  Men with flowing locks put women in that "Fabio" mood (if you remember him), even if their hair is a reasonable long.  Men with hair I can play with are hot.
  
  Tattooed guys.  They fall under the same category of long-haired guys for the rebellious look, but this is deeper.  They can take pain (and sacrifice) to put something (hopefully) important on their skin, for the world to see.  They wear their hearts on their sleeves, sometimes literally.  Guys who make their bodies works of art are hot.
  
  Guys who follow in their father's footsteps.  Usually, he cares about his family business in such a way that he's willing to deal with his family members for the rest of his life, that it's become a passion of his, or it's just natural at this point.  A man who is connected with his family is hot.
  
  Older guys.  They're responsible, have a solid life, and are therefore reliable.  They have more experience in most things, and are great for advice or learning old tricks from.  Older isn't always wiser...but in some cases it is.  And just that is worth it to find out.  Men with experience are hot.
  
  Younger guys.  They still have a youth, a silliness, an innocence that one is hard-pressed to find out in the world these days.  They're impressionable in some cases, and always make me feel like I'm young and completely carefree again.  A guy who makes me forget all my worries is hot.
  
  Guys with power egos.  They're strong, and they know it.  They know what they want, and they're not afraid to take it.  They are never indecisive, and (though sometimes annoying) know what's best for themselves.  They don't hesitate, and live life to the fullest.  A man who knows what he wants and makes his best effort to get it is hot.
  
  Guys who are insecure.  They need nurturing, care, and constant affection - a lovey-dovey girl's ideal man.  They never tire of my constant affection, my constant praise, or my giddy attitude.  They are usually just as worshipful toward me as I am to them, because they want to keep someone who cares about them around, just like me. Men who accept my attentions and give them back are hot.
  
  Guys with disabilities.  They love just the same as anyone else, they have a stronger sense of reality, and they don't take my drama (because life is too short).  They can cut through my crap and figure out what I really want.  Guys in wheelchairs have amaaazing upper bodies and grease on their fingers (see next category), the guys with high functioning autism demand perfection in special areas of life.  Some are overly sweet, some know perfection when they see it, most appreciate life to the fullest, but all are unique and special.  Guys who are strong despite or because of their disabilities are hot.
  
  Greasemonkeys.  Mmm.  They're good at fixing things, they're handy to have around - whether it's cars, heat pumps, or equipment they're working on, they know some helpful stuff.  I know women say they want a man who is clean, but at the same time - a man who's not afraid to get dirty is extra hot.  Trust me, the idea of washing all that off is extra steamy.  Plus, if he's good with his hands... I'll just let you finish that thought yourself.  Dirty men are hot.
  
  Classy guys.  They dress well, they know good music, they have good hair.  They usually know how to dance, they know the best champagne, and they always know how to treat a woman right.  Chivalry is NOT dead - I think it lives within the classy guy.  He will open my door for me, and will offer me his arm when we walk.  Chivalrous men are hot.
  
  I think all men fall under more than one category... so that makes them double hot.  Imagine one that falls under more than three categories...(fans self)
  
  I ask you... What (that you don't see here) makes men hot?
  

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