There's always this one person (mostly girls) who loves to embarrass you in front of everyone. They are the ones who nags you to bring out your new boyfriend and then dredge up old embarrassing or drunken stories to tell them. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you "The Hater".
My girlfriend just started a fairly new relationship and finally brought her man out for a meet and greet. As soon as the introduction started, "The Hater" started firing 20 questions at the poor guy. Leading into a song and dance about how he should never bring my girlfriend to have Indian food because she had such a bad case of food poisoning which led to something unpleasant. I don't want to get graphic so use your imagination folks. Anyway, we're trying to divert and change the topic and "The Hater" just plows right through onto another embarrassing story. My girlfriend is livid and has confronted "The Hater" before about not telling the world embarrassing stories of her. "The Hater" claims she's not doing anything wrong and that she should lighten up because if a guy likes her, he wouldn't care.
So my advice to my friend was to give her a dose of her own medicine. Unfortunately, my friend is passive and not vengeful at all so she didn't think she can stoop to that level. What would you do if you were in her situation? Any other ideas besides what I told her to do?
Comments (44)
These 'haters' you refer to are usually just people who don't know how to act in front of other people's love interests. I know a few people in this category :P They panic and try to think of something to say but never think of what they are actually saying. USUALLY there is no malice or intent in what they say. Sometimes you do come across somebody who is doing it out of jealousy or spite or whatever.
As for what to do, I don't think that your girlfriend should plot for revenge- bad things only ever come from revenge. I know from experience. I could understand some harmless revenge though, but nothing that has any chance of causing any form of harm (maybe I'm being too nice?). If I were in her situation, I'd just laugh it off. After all, I'd be sure I'd meet a 'hater' for him too and hear some embarrassing stories about him too.
Hope I helped. :D
Bitch-slap the hater. If the hater opens her mouth again, bitch-slap her until she stops making noises. Rinse and repeat.
Seriously, though, just laugh it off and trade verbal barbs for more ones. Use the hater's verbal idiocy as a toolbox or source of inspiration for your own way to handle the hater's comments. If you are really insiduous, INVITE the hater to constantly make stupid comments when you are with other people; then, the hater will be only seen as a hater not just by you but by everyone else, since you are automatically assuming the hater will "hate".
if i had a hater on my case i;d just slam it all back into her face. and if my friend had one and couldn;t fight her...well i wouldn't mind shedding a little blood on her behalf (6)
Be the better person and ignore it. Nothing good can come from drama. If anything, smack a bitch and be done with it because that usually solves problems.
Also, I'm willing to guess this "hater" doesn't have a boyfriend. A nice way to get the hoe to shutup is just say "Well I'm sitting here with my boyfriend, who can make me feel better, where you have to antagonize other people to satisfy yourself, but you're not satisfied because you're alone."
It's a hierarchy. I used to go through that shit, though, I dunno, it wasn't with the "prestige".
As much as I approve of @QuantumStorm@xanga's method, a more passive but equally enjoyable thing would be for you to give her the dose yourself. Your friend doesn't have the balls to do this? Than do it for her. The next time she brings up a story, cut her off with "Oh yeah, that reminds of that time you... etc" and then start into a story about the hater. If she isn't glaring, you're not doing it right.
That ain't no hater... that's just a plain bitch!!
I'd pop her one in the mouth, probably... or else seriously contemplate my social skills or lack thereof, since I seem to be surrounded by giant morons.
Seriously, when you said "there's always that person who likes to humiliate you"... I was like... "What.. the... fuh---?" I'm not sure what the hell kind of people you hang out with, but I'd re-evaluate the quality of folks in your circle of acquaintances, as well as their collective IQ if that's actually legitimate problem of yours. Sooo highschool, dude.
Just tell your friend to be the bigger person and take the high road.
I'd get new friends. I've met a few of these people and never understood why others tolerate them.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - agreed!
@Jack_Morrison@xanga - I don't know...awkwardness is one thing but this person is just out right mean. I tried saying something on my friend's behalf one time to shut her up. (which worked) But I later on found out she turned the story around making herself sound like a victim and that I was the mean one making a bitchy comment! Grrr.....
@nimbusthedragon@xanga - She's not in my immediate circle of friends but she is in my friend's circle, so when a group gathering occurs she's there by association. Trust me, I didn't invite her, she invites herself!
@utoppia@xanga - ahhh, then this is the other case. Sometimes people are just... to use the term many others have been using- a bitch. These people are usually spiteful for seemingly no apparent reason. These mean people confuse me, I don't understand how people can get pleasure out of being bad-hearted. I think you just need to take this bitch down a peg or two and get her off her high horse. xP Although I still wouldn't suggest plotting revenge. Plans ALWAYS fail xD Just ignore her- attention-seeking, back-stabbing, plan-hatching, motor-mouthed people like her crave attention. Their like weeds. They thrive on other people's attention and try to take it for themselves. Starve them of this, however, and they will wither away. (Hmmm, I put WAY too much thought into that)
Grrr indeed though.
umm, stop hanging out with the girl? if she won't respect my wishes to keep certain information private, she doesn't get invited to events my SO will be at. the end
i wouldn't consider her a hater...a hater is more of a person that's like "he's not that hot anyways". I think that this girl is just obnoxious....you should stop hanging out with her
ugh. annoying bitch!
I would stoop to the Hater's level. Except I can take it way, WAY worse. People tell me that Im too nice of a guy, but if something like that happens, I'll turn into the biggest asshole ever. And you'll wish you'd never mess with me.
The only kind of love for those people is tough(er) love.
punch "the hater" in the face
Those people think that everything is a competition. By putting others down, they feel as if they have the upper hand. Either they are just extremely socially awkward, or their actions are intentional. I don't see how anyone can be so stupid that they inadvertently end up insulting and embarrassing their friends in front of others. In the majority of cases, it's their way of not-so subtly one-upping you.
Because it is largely competition-based, trying to put her in her place could end up fueling her further if it's not done the right way. I'm not sure what I'd do--I think directly saying something to the person may be the best way to go, unless you can come up with a way to push back that will shut her up rather than antagonize her.
I hate the Hater... Does that make me a hater too?
cut the hater out of her life.. you don't need someone screwing up your life if you know they're inconsiderate and not thoughtful of your feelings.. who needs someone like that in your life?? its plain n' simple.
If I had a hater in my life I would just cut the bitch out of my life. It sounds like a case "well if I'm not happy no else around me is going to be happy" A true friend would be happy that you have someone in your life even though they don't. So tell your friend to drop her like a hot potato.
that sounds so annoying, but at the same time, i think i'm guilty of doing this sometimes.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - i agree. that seems to be the best revenge. just reveal how much of a moron they are to everyone else. it's genius actually :)
knowing me i would act out of rage and want revenge... i'll keep quantumstorms plan if needed in the future
Haha have a good laugh. If she's trying to bring you down, joke about what she's bringing up, make it funny rather than embarrassing. If it's serious stuff that she shouldn't bring up, politely try to change the subject, and if it continues to be a problem, plainly say "I don't want to talk about this right now", in a firm tone, or take her aside.
I also like the bitch-slapping idea.
You should be able to control what embarrassing stories you want people to know and not have others interfere in your affairs.
@laytexduckie@xanga - That's basically what I end up doing, but I do things like that when nothing else works and blast the living hell out of the person.