Tuesday, 01 December 2009
-
Why I Won't Date a Bisexual Girl
A lot of guys I know admit that they’re open to dating a bisexual girl. After a discussion with my friend Gerald_Washington, I’ve suddenly come to the realization that I’m no longer attracted to them. That is to say, I’m not tolerant of them. They’re free to date whoever they want. That, and I’ve the exact amount of minority friends specified by federal law to let me make such claims as a white American male (/sarcasm). Like I said, they can date anyone they want, but bisexuality is no longer a “turn on” for me. I’ve several reasons for this.
(Well, that's one of them.)
If there’s anything I dislike, it’s someone who hates something just because it’s popular. After all, being counter-culture is SO 1960’s.
(Totally Excusable)
That being said, I’m really kind of tired of girls claiming they’re bisexual because “it scores points with the guys.” Well, gals, I hate to warn you, but the only guys who want a girl who’s bi for this reason isn’t in into you because he likes you. He really just wants to make it with you in hopes of a ménage-a-toi with your female SO. Oh, did I mention he probably wants to make it “all about him?” If you’re unsure what this means, just look up “threesome” in a porn streaming site of your choice.
(I mean, what's the deal with orgies?)
So let’s say you’re not in it because “it scores points with the guys.” Let’s say you’re genuinely bisexual. Well, let me ask you something: when a guy tells you that he’s bisexual, what do you think his real sexual orientation is?
(Here's a hint.)
I’ll admit that my personal experience is probably a little bit different, but every bisexual guy or girl I’ve ever met has almost exclusively flocked to the genitalia of their same gender. So when it comes to “genuine” bi girls, my experience has taught me that: DICKS NEED NOT APPLY.
Now, why can’t I seem to just “get over it?” After all, it’s just a gender identity. And if they’re really open, then you’ll have just as much a chance to enter into a serious relationship with a girl who’s bisexual as a girl who’s straight. Well, that’s just great! But how secure can that relationship be? After all, if a hot girl has just as much of a chance of stealing my newly acquired SO away from me as any ripped douche-bag with a popped collar, then what’s really keeping them close to me? At least with a straight girlfriend, the competition is limited to only one gender.
I’ll admit openly that I’m about as much of a relationship guru as any other D&D enthusiast posting on Datingish can be, and I could have my facts all wrong.
(Professional Gentleman, Self-Help Guru, and Lover)And as I said before, I’ve no hate towards people who are bisexual. I’m simply removing them from my dating prospects. What about you other folks out there? Would you date someone who’s bisexual? Why or why not? Got horror stories about bi SO’s you wanna share? What about success stories? Perhaps I’m just another rambling idiot on the internet and you wanna prove me wrong. All comments are welcome in the peanut gallery.
-
recommend
- recs 4
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: Vacerious@xanga
- Name: Carter
- About Me: Aspiring Writer-In-Training
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 5952 Comments: 0 202 View all posts by Vacerious@xanga
Comments (211)
Most bi girls I've met became "bi" for the attention it got them, and the drama it causes. So I'm firm in my opinion that many bisexual people are attention whores.
I've met a few people who are, legit, on the fence about what they want, date or hook up with both genders, and therefore call themselves "bi". I think that's more acceptable than being in it just for the attention.
I have known many people who are just very open minded. Most of my friends do not care what gender their love comes in... just that they have it. Thoses are the kinds of people that I respect... they have no title just that the fact that it doesn't matter gender race or religion just that they are in love with that person and that they love them back.... they tend to have very long lasting loves. It is beautiful to see.
I don't label myself anything, but I like girls and guys. However, I'm married to a guy. He knows that I'm attracted to both sexes and it doesn't bother him at all.
I never officially dated any girls, though, simply for the reason you stated - too many of them appear to claim bisexuality because it makes them cool or hot or controversial. Boring. I've casually dated/hooked up with girls before but honestly, it's easier to be with a guy (and I happened to find an absolutely amazing one!). Straight guys aren't "acting straight" to look cool or whatever, you know? Less drama. So odd that bisexuality is a trend now.
I have a theory, that I unfortunately don't feel like getting fully into right now, that most bi-sexuals are not born bi. I believe gay people are born gay, and like wizard_howl, a select few do swing both ways.
I believe the majority of bi-sexuals are doing it for attention, or wouldn't be bi unless a gay person influenced them.
just my little theory.
I wouldn't date a bisexual guy because I don't think I could stomach the thought of his penis being in a dude. Gay sex is great, even hot sometimes, but I wouldn't want it mixing with my own sex life in any way. I'm sexually attracted to both men and women, but relationship-wise, I'd rather be with a man. I don't care what that makes me.
I'm Bi. I can see myself with either a man or a woman. If your with someone and you like or maybe even love them and you break if off only because they're bi it shows you don't trust in that relationship you built and that person. It's your own insecurities. Besides what guy wants to tell his friends he lost his girlfriend to another woman? Maybe if they had a history of cheating yes.
I don't know about the rest of you but I consider being bi as a transition phase for some people. I've seen many bi guys later claim to be gay. Along with women too. I think it makes it easier to tell people this than to explain what they really are.
*sigh*
I will agree that the girls who claim bisexuality because it's 'attractive' are a little pathetic, and your reasonings as to why they shouldn't are legitimate.
However...
Most bi people I know like or date both genders. While I consider myself bi, and do find the average girl more attractive than the average guy, I like guys more often and have never fallen in love with a woman. Furthermore, I room with a bi girl who has dated both and currently likes several guys but no girls, am friends with another bi girl who likes a guy, and am dating a bi boy. To be fair, I do know several guys who have claimed bisexuality only to declare themselves gay later, but there's no standard for what bisexuality 'really means'.
A bi girl is not necessarily more likely to cheat on you or leave you because she likes two genders. The only thing that an additional gender pool would do is give someone more opportunities to find someone else or cheat on you with, but if she's not going to cheat, she won't regardless, and if your relationship isn't strong enough to hold someone, they'll probably leave whether they're straight or bi. Bisexual is not a synonym for promiscuous.
I respect that you have a bias against dating bisexual gals, but it seems to be based too much on stereotypes for me to agree with it. =/
Unfortunately you won't know if a girl's really bisexual until she tells you, right? And by that point (after you get to know her a little), I think it'd be a little too late to spring the whole "sorry, I don't date bisexuals" thing on her, don't you?
Of course, if a girl tells you she's bisexual right away there's a good chance that she's just an attention whore; it's like saying "look at how special I am!"
I personally haven't dated anyone who was bi, but some of my friends have told me they are. Some of them believe, while others I don't and I try to distance myself from the latter.
The bi-sexual people I have known could be better known as hyper-sexual. That is, they craved so much sex that they needed to expand their boundaries to be satisfied. They weren't posing as bi-sexual, they needed to be.
Conversely, posers seem to be using the tag as trying to appear ambiguous and as a way of suppressing sexual advances.
i'm not bi and i wouldn't date a bi guy
it would be weird to get dumped for a boy...
@unabridgedtales@xanga - I 100% agree. A couple of my friends are bisexual (one is male; one is female). You love who you love - that's my motto. I am 100% straight, but that's me. Some people can love either gender, but most of them don't love more than one person at a time. I mean, not any more that a straight person can love more than one person of the same gender at a time. Haha, I hope that made sense.
I seriously doubt that being bisexual increases a girls chances of cheating on you. If a girl was going to cheat on you, it really wouldn't make much of a difference if there were 3,450,000,000 men in the world to cheat with or 6,900,000,000 men and women in the world to cheat with. There are ALWAYS options, it just depends on whether the individual is willing to persue them. A girl will cheat on you because she is slutty, not because she sometimes likes vag.
@chell_kicks_08@xanga - I agree with this one hundred percent. I don't think that love has anything to do with gender. You have to find that one person who completes you, no matter what sex they are.
I like boys and girls. I usually don't tell boys that because I find it irrelevant. If I like you, why should it matter who else I could possibly be attracted to?
I don't think I would date a bi guy, partly because you do have more competition. I'd constantly be worried, having the same worries as I do in a relationship with a straight guy. It just increases. plus, i'm already in a relationship, so i don't see myself with anyone else. :P
Although, you shouldn't allow someones orientation to be the reason for not dating them. If you truly like / love them , then you should be able to trust them.lololol at tila tequila and "dicks need not apply." lololol.
Oh okay. Cool.
What the? TILA TEQUILA? She's QUAD-SEXUAL and she'll make out with a horse if she'll have too! She just a FILTHY WHORE! Most guy's who are into "Bi's" are just perverts. They get it from Kelso (of That 70's Show). They hear one guy say it, then they pretend it's "cool".
homosexuals are already having a hard time getting the right to marry each other.
i think bisexuals will have a much harder time getting polygamous marriages enacted. or are they too promiscuous to care?
Bisexual is a turn -off for me as well. It's just a lot harder to know if something is going on on the side. A girlfriend who spends a lot of one-on-one time with another guy raises an eyebrow, but with a bisexual girl, any time spent with anyone gets questioned.
Plus, it's really annoying to have your girlfriend tell you "Oh my God, look at her boobs, too bad she's not a brunette". <--actually happened
@OctoberSkyee@xanga - my boyfriend isn't bisexual, but he experimented a few times when he was like 18, and in what is practically the gay capital of puerto rico. It took a LONG time for me to get that unwanted image out of my head. I feel I've grown as a person over it, though...
You are basically saying bisexuality doesn't even exist seeing as you say if a man says he is bisexual then he's obviously gay and same with women.
This isn't true at all. My sister is bi, but she's been with her boyfriend for almsot two years. Just because she is attracted to both men and women does not mean she's automatically a lesbian.
Honestly, when a guy says he is bisexual, I do tend to see more of the "gay" side, but that doesn't mean he's actually gay. If he says he's bi, then he's bi. Or maybe he's confused, who knows. He would know more than you would though so you shouldn't assume he's gay.
Gosh, either way. Does it really matter what turns your girlfriend on? If you turn her on AND so does a sexy woman...who cares?! I mean, annoying girls that just say their bi for attention..yeah, that's just stupid. But to a lot of women it's real and sincere. It's not just a show or a way to get more action. Not every woman is that selfish and warped.
I would probably date a bisexual guy, unless I got the feel that he was actually gay. Like if the guy talked non-stop about liking guys and spent more time getting ready than me or whatever...yeah, those may be a couple signs that i wouldn't ignore. But if I don't get the feel that he'd rather be with a guy, then I don't see a problem.
I'm bisexual, to me, love is love, no matter who you get it from. But I see what you mean by this. Some people claim they are just for the Hell of it.
@wizard_howl@xanga - Hey! I'm not an attention whore, I'm a regular whore! Lmao. xP
I'm bisexual with a preference for women. This is not to say I wouldn't be with a man, becuase I would, it's just that I'm more attracted to women in general.Most bi's have a preference, and are not completely in the middle.