High school girls are so silly.
The immaturity astounds me, how a guy can essentially break a girl's heart and she still attempts to cling on to him. It's poisonous, to try and attach yourself to someone who couldn't care less.
The "just be friends" mentality is often a dumb attempt at trying to hold on to something that isn't there anymore. I understand that eventually it is possible to actually be friends, but in the immediate time after? It's toxic.
To put it scientifically, these girls are poisoned in the initial break up and then continue to swallow the toxins in the hopes that things will improve.
I hate to shatter dreams, but things don't work like that.
If they aren't worth your time, move on.
If they keep hurting you, stop expecting them to heal you.
It doesn't work like that.
It may be difficult to let go, but any truly smart and independent person is capable.
Stop sabotaging yourself.
You won't let go if you keep holding on.
(It's absolutely disgusting when a girl does this for attention. "Oh look at me, my life sucks!" "No. Shut up, you are doing this to yourself.")I'm not trying to belittle heartbreak, but honestly it's so annoying when a girl cannot be mature and deal with it herself. It won't help trying to run to the one who did it. It's understandable to want this at first, but in the long run I think girls should learn when enough is enough.
Also, guys are painted as the bad ones for telling an obsessive girl to please leave them alone. What are they supposed to say?
I know this is a weird rant, but high school girls (myself included-at times) are really not the brightest when it comes to emotions. What do you think?
True 
Comments (54)
thanks... i should stop swallowing the toxins now!
High school girls are still young -- they are IN the process of growing up. Being dumped by a guy is a blow to their ego. The only way they think that their self worth can be repaired is to get back the guy who thought they weren't worth the time in the first place. Sounds like you've learned this is not the case already and grown up quite quickly compared to your peers. :)
Things are just... much more intense when you're a teen.
I dealt with my fair share of exgirlfriends in high school. I couldn't agree with you more, especially when the guy has moved on and gotten a new girlfriend. back off and leave him alone. Girls like that are the reason why I detest ex-girlfriends so much. -______-
well okay, technically I'm an exgirlfriend too. but I've either moved on every time they've gotten a new girlfriend or just kept silent and took a step out of their lives. once they find someone new, please don't try to be "best friends" with them when you're not really over it, because that will just cause drama and hurt for everyone in the end.
HOLY SHIT you are soooo RIGHT!
this is dead on.
can you make sure every girl reads this? ha
I just say some guys are just insensitive as they also are equally immature. If they would only think of their own mothers or sisters, they cannot afford to break a girl's heart. I am talking as a father who have three daughters.
"It may be difficult to let go, but any truly smart and independent person is capable"
"it's so annoying when a girl cannot be mature and deal with it herself"
you say you're in high school which is why I sympathize, I only just graduated and I know what you mean and I know I used to feel the same way.
I mean. No. I still see college relationships this poisonous and think the same thing, lol.
but what you have to take into account is that especially in high school, these girls are still learning. they are NOT yet independent and they are NOT yet immature, and you know... in high school, they don't HAVE to be. not yet. that will come in time. my first relationship when I was 16? I didn't realize how fucked up it was until I was looking back in retrospect 2 months later. I've grown a LOT from that relationship, and I now know everything I do and do not want in a boyfriend (which, coincidentally, I have the perfect one!)
they will learn in time. they seem awfully stupid but you have to realize that even if you can see how fucked up it is, and you feel like that person is being an idiot- they just haven't learned yet. it's not completely their fault.
it's these god awful relationships that build the good ones we find in the future, that teach us what qualities to look for in others.
I think ur a little harsh because bein a teen isnt easy, u are going start out imature in some cases expecially if you dont understand it. teenagers go through alot something u should know about. life isnt easy not even teens....u have to go through shit to learn shit, dont u know that? if u dont u are in some deep shit then.
@quietmeteorshowers@xanga - Aha, life would be easier for everyone if girls could learn this sooner than later.
@BoStOnIaNMoMmY@xanga - I am a teenager. I know it's not easy. I've been through rough relationships and learned this stuff through that, I'm simply stating my opinion on it. Notice in the last sentence how I mention I have been guilty of this before?
a little harsh but that's how I feel when my girlfriends come to me with their issues, there's a reason why it didn't work out in the first place but like I always say, ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE!
Very smart
it's easier said then done.
i'm in this position, have been for the last 2 1/2 after we broke up. my head knows whats right, that all of this is true, what i SHOULD be doing. i know what i'm doing to myself is stupid, it's pointless. true, after all this time, i've gotten a lot better (meaning i'm pretty much...ALMOST over him). but although i know if i want to be 100% over him i have to cut all ties with him, it's just too hard.
my heart, whatever feelings i have left for him, just still CARING about him, makes me unable to just cut him from my life. i know it's not the best way to go about it.. but i try, i really do.
i build up all this anger and hate towards him. i feel disgusted for the manwhore he is. i feel hurt by his betrayal even though i trusted him so much. but the moment he talks to me, all those negative feelings towards him are gone. i HATE that i care this much, i HATE that i waste my time on him, but it's too hard to just let go. and i know that sounds pathetic but it's really the truth. i'm not ready or strong enough for that yet, and i'm ashamed to admit that.
trust me, i realize i'm never going to get back together with him. i don't want him back, and i'm not trying to get back together with him. it's the friendship i want because i'm not one to just drop someone like that who meant so much to me and who i was so close to.
@breaking_expectations@xanga - "life would be easier if girls could learn this sooner than later"
I feel like that idea would have better served this post than being so harsh about it, lol.
I don't think this should in relevance to high school girl. My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is 28 and she hasn't let go of my boyfriend. They broke up nearly two years ago. Before we got together, she cling onto him for her dear life. He treated as one of his friend, but she thought it could be more.
She's still around ... lingering for him. She's getting old and can't move on. To me, it's rather pathetic.
THIS mentality "let's be friends" is not exclusive to JUST highschool girls. My bf accidentally stumbled into this topic when I told him a buddy of mine just fessed up that he has a "thing" for me although he knows I don't date my friends, I have a bf that I'm absolutely in love with and we've been friends for a few years (I've been treating him like my brother). Then my bf said to me, "too many girls wanted to be friends with me when i told them i wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship with them, it's not my fault, they just don't want to let go."
Of course he intended to toot his own horn, but as the discussion turned to a serious one, he then explained that it is always on the GIRLS end when the idea of "friendship" is sprung up on him. When he says, "I'm not feeling it," after a few dates to let her (them, later) that he's not looking for a relationship as she wanted, in spite of his brutal delivery, they persisted with the fictionalized image of them becoming best of friends and hopefully, ONE DAY, he'll come back to her(them). LET IT GO ALREADY!
He (my bf) tried to argue my situation is the same but it's not. He dated his "persistent women who want him to be their friend" and my buddies are my buddies who want to date me (their friend). Anyways, I notice more WOMEN to suggest "let's be friends" post-breakup than men. Maybe it's just me, but my ex bfs had the tendency of suggesting THAT while I don't even pretend I want to. It's an obvious plot for drama and emotional disaster. So people... when the opposite sex says NO, they mean it. LEAVE IT ALONE, QUIT BEATING ON THE DEAD HORSE AND MOVE THE FCK ON!
I think that, for the most part, they are still trying to figure out who they are as a person, and they are also coming into adulthood. With that comes experience, maturity (we hope), and self-esteem (very important)... Self-esteem is extremely important because if a female truly loves and respects herself then she will not tolerate bad behavior. She can't. She values herself way too much to allow a guy to treat her less than what she deserves.
My friend and his ex are like this, he was in his mid-late 20s dating a girl in her late teens and early 20s (she was almost 19 when they started dating, and dated off and on for almost 3 years). Being the jerk he is (I know he is a giant asshole when you date him, guy is NOT date worthy but a good friend, odd I know) He cheated on her all the time, never tried very hard to hide it, and was never sorry. They have been officially over for nearly 2 years, and yet she will tell you he is the love of her life and she would literally do anything to get back with him. I would LOVE to tell her that he isn't worth it, that although he did/does love her in his own selfish way to let him go and move on, but she'd never listen to me. He won't get back with her because he knows he isn't capable of not cheating on her or possibly anyone, so he is friends with her, which hurts her too, because she thinks that means that he will eventually be with her, and she has to watch him be with other girls and just be a friend. He tries to not hurt her by keeping his flings and girlfriends quiet, but she wants to be a part of his everyday life.
Eventually he will have to end it completely with her or he will end up crushing her. She is so in love with him that she can't see that no matter how hard he tries he can't be "the good boyfriend" she so wants him to be. I don't know if he is able to be that with any girl.
Easier said than done.
I know a girl exactly like this...except she's not in high school...in her 20s, but has the mentality of a high schooler at best.
guys do this as well. girls however are more all around attuned to emotional awareness at almost any given age to some degree than boys. during teenage years however prefrontal regions are not yet fully mature (aka the "logic" center) while most of the other regions are. thus you get a system that produces high output (emotion) but does not have a mechanism to control that output...thus irrational actions aka "drama"
@arriviste@xanga - co-dependency and limerence are terrible creatures with strong relations to withdrawal from addiction. best thing to do is to direct that negative energy towards something productive. i had a very similar personal experience just clocking in at about 5 years. go lift, run, study hard, if it helps play out a scenario in your head that you'll climb to great heights one day and they'll see you on TV and kick themselves. it honestly took me from a 1.8 to a 3.8 GPA and man tits to roaring six pack. energy cannot be created nor destroyed, only transfered, it seems like you've come into possession high energy and while you can't throw it out because you don't want it; you can harness it towards rewarding and productful things in life. the two creatures i listed above can have year ranges from 2-3 years (this of course varies with person to person) but is often feated by said victim increasing their self worth (esteem), again this goes in hand with the suggestion to redirect your energy.
best
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ugh i totally know what you mean. my ex boyfriend (so weird to say) wants desperately to be my friend. i couldn't care less, because i'm completely over him. i'm the asshole guy in this situation. but i know it's not a good idea because he'll never get over it, he'll just feel worse and worse.
but hey, i don't want to hurt him even more by telling him to get away and leave me completely alone.
@robbiearnold@xanga - wow congratulations on all that you succeeded in! a 3.8 gpa?? that's ridiculous! :]
@Stellarshore@xanga - Yeah, really.
And I don't think it's limited to 'high school girls'. Anyone who really cares for someone is going to have a hard time letting go. It's normal.