Monday, 30 November 2009
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"I Knew with Him What I Wasn't Sure with You"
So the other day, I finally watched, "500 Days of Summer" and I loved it because unlike those other happily-ever-after Disney movies, this movie showed how a relationship that seemed to be going so well, fell into a thousand miserable pieces; just like it does in real life.
One of the most heartbreaking moments of the movie was when Summer remeets Tom at his favorite spot. He asks her, "Why?" (Why did she leave him? Why did she say she didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone but is now married? Why did she not have the courage to just tell him she had moved on with her life? Why did she give him that last string of hope and then pull the rug from under? Why did she have to be such a heartless biatch?) And she replies, "I just knew with him what I wasn't sure with you."
And as much as I hated her, I loved her reply.
I really thought this friendship thing with Max could work but I have realized I was wrong. Before I met Max, I was a lot like Tom. I believed in all love at first sight, the one, all that mushy romantic crap. And then after Max left, I was an emotional wreck, crazy at times but mostly just dead inside. A lot of people tried to comfort me with their "there's plenty of fishes in the sea," "it's his lost, not yours," etc. But I knew the truth, how I felt about Max was something I would never feel about anyone else.
It's been a few year since Max broke up with me and in that two years, I've probably been interested in five men at most. And it's not that I was even really interested in them; they, in some way or form, reminded me of Max and so I pushed myself to pursue something with them, in hopes that what Max and I had could be rekindle in a relationship with someone who was like him.
Max was "the one." In my twenty-five years of life, I have never felt so much passion with anyone before. Before Max, there were plenty of boys I liked but there was never someone I just had to get to know, someone I just had to be with; Max was different. The moment I saw him, I just knew that he would be someone important in my life. My feelings for Max were beyond passionate and I will always love him, whether I would like to or not.
But here's the ugly truth, Max will never feel the same. The passion I feel, the love I have, he will never understand or reciprocate. Because if he did, we'd still be together, but we're not. Much like Summer, Max will find someone who he will just know he is meant to be with, something he was never sure enough with me.
Have you ever had a moment where you just knew they were "the one"?
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- From: TheUglyTruth
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Comments (60)
idk if i believe in "the one" but i feel the same way about my boyfriend now that you feel about max.
i lost him last year, but after almost 10 months, and me dating a few other guys, my heart still ached for him and i took a shot and luckily we worked out. :)
This post actually surprised me, I thought it was going to be something about puppy love, but it's deep. Yes, I think I have had this feeling. It's hard to let go.
I feel ya... there was a time when I felt and believed that the man I loved was the 'one' for me. It was a complicated relationship, and eventually he went his own way.
But what's scary is that I'm now involved with someone else and plan to spend the rest of my life with him, but that feeling of knowing he's the one, it's not there... and I wonder if it will ever be again.
story of my life
maybe, once, but i think it was more or less pity when i look back
To answer your question: yes.
I'm calling BS on this one. Max is not "the one" he's just the best so far. I think it's a prerequisite to being "the one" that they're still wanting you.
my bf right now is the person I know is the right one. my ex is the person i wasn't sure with. im glad i found the right person after my ex.
but it wasnt an easy road to be with my bf. we had a long extensive past.. we dated for a little bit many years ago.. and when we broke up.. he was always the one i thought about when i dated other guys. then when i broke up w/ my most current ex.. i started talking with my bf again. and we've been together ever since. :)
Yes...well he was "the one" for me but I wasn't "the one" for him.
Wow.
First I must say that I was confused by the title.
Perhaps it's because women are so convoluted.
But I read it, and found some truth to this.
Too bad two people can't both fall in love at the same time, all of the time.
Yes. And it's strange because the guy that I know is "The One" isn't the one that I'm with. We were together for a year and a half before I left him. I've always been in love with him, and always will, and he's still every bit as in love with me. We just didn't work out though...
It's not that I've never been in love before, but... I'm just going to have to say I'm still waiting that way about someone. It's really hard for me to be interested in someone and, even when I am, it's only a matter of time before I run off or realized I was just intrigued more than anything else. It sounds lovely to feel that way about somebody, but extremely painful to have to not have it recipocated. I'm sure that if it was, you'd be set for life.
I hope there is someone else out there who could make you feel more than your ex boyfriend. Good luck :)
@lewk@xanga - I definitely agree. How can they be "the one" if they don't want you back?
I know who my "the one" or my "soulmate" is but I'm not with him and I don't want to be with him. Long story short, we make sense, no matter what we are or do, everything is just right and perfect, and even if we try to leave each other, we will always find our way back into each other's lives. But I am not the kind of person who values romance all that much to be honest so I am with this guy who I am in love with. Of course the chemistry isn't as crazy as the person I'm meant to be with but I just brush that idea off. There are different kinds of love. No love is ever the same. The way you love your ex will never be the same as the way you love the person you'll meet. It's just like that. Being soulmates doesn't guarantee that you will be together because a relationship needs more than the intensity of passion and fate.
I felt like this... but I was 15. Now I realize I just put that guy on a pedestal and that some day I'd find someone who was actually right for me.
There will be someone else out there.
I dated a guy who could've been the one for me if he had reciprocated my feelings continuously, but his feelings for me were much like that of a yo-yo. he mistreated me greatly, especially during the times when he wasn't so sure with me. if he was really "the one" when I wasn't his, and I won't date anyone better for me than him, I might as well just go blow my brains out now.
oh, and I forgot... my good friend feels this way though. she was cheated on several times by her "one." I try to argue that there will be a better guy out there for her who won't cheat on her. someone she will love even more. she is only 20. I would be very upset if I were wrong.
I thought they were the one... After 3 years trying to forget the feelings I had... I don't know..
"Plenty of fishes in the sea" wouldn't comfort me either. Silly people. Everyone knows fish is plural and singular, like sheep. We don't say sheeps.
Anyways, now that I'm going to stop being picky (yes I know fishes is acceptable. But I really don't like it.), I'm really sorry that he didn't feel the same way. In my opinion, I think that there's like, a pool of people that are all right for each other. But that's just what I think, I just find it difficult to believe that there's just one person out of six billion that's right for you./ramblingcomment.
I've had passionate feelings for 2 men, but they both collapsed.
As for the one, I'm waiting for him and my faith in love, surprisingly, is still devout.
the guy i thought was the one happened to be the one that didn't work at all. same like you, i had a max in my life also, but he goes by bryan. i loved then, i still love him now, and i would always compare the men in my life to him and it would always be a disaster. but now, i've realized that he will never return that love to me ever and have come to accept that. i sometimes wonder why i feel this way for him even though he will never return my love.
Yes, and it sucks when cupid plays you.
However, I believe that people falling in love with each other the moment they meet are as astronomical as being hit and killed by a meteorite if not even greater. That’s why songs, movies, books, and other forms of media obsess over that one moment of magic. The more common thing "real life" thing that happens is one person falls for another and the other may at most be halfway there if not at all. In short the case of you, Tom, and I but there is a chance that the stars will align and you get to experience what few get too. The thing is to not let the promise of love close your heart like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and not let loneliness cloud your judgment. I just recently saw that movie on a plane and fucking bawled my eyes out cause the story rang so true to me it hurt. I hated that movie but at the same time it filled me with some hope. I think we all have to go though our share of summers before we get to finally see autumn. Just some people's have longer summers then other (me for instance lol) but keep your (and anybody who cupid F-ed over) heart open and your hope true so you can give cupid a chance to hit his mark.
Sorry for the long reply but I had to reply to your post.
i automatically knew that my bf was THE ONE from the beginning. no matter what ups and downs, i know it's him. it will always be him. and it's a beautiful feeling.
i LOVE this movie for so many reasons, including the sheer hotness of joseph gordon levitt in his adorable role. but the greatest line in this movie is:
"Robin's better than the girl of my dreams. She's real."