Monday, 30 November 2009
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Long Distance is a Problem?
After 66 days... my man finally come back tonight. I finally felt relief when he called me and said that he is on the flight. He is really coming back.
People always say that long distance relationship is hard to maintain. That's true but there is one exception -- true love
I believe that if two persons love each other truly, there is no distance. You don't need to be afraid that your bf/gf will cheat on you or doing anything behind you. And for sure, the love between you and him/her will not decrease. It's just like the moon. The moon light makes the night becoming so tender. In the day time, even you can't see it but you know it is here.
But if it is not true love, no matter how close you are staying/live together/see each other everyday... but still, both hearts cannot be connected. Even you follow him/her whenever he/she goes, but you still afraid that he/she will see someone else. Or worse... cheat on you or leave you one day. And the love between you and him/her is like a candle. When you both fall in love, the candle lights up. This romantic candlelight makes you feel so good in the dark. But you don't know how long your candle is, so that you don't know when will it finish.Do you agree that true love is the exception when it comes to maintaining a long distance relationship?
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- From: pillow_wollip@xanga
- Name: Ayesha
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Comments (84)
I hate how people have always jump to the conclusion that the other person will cheat and stuff. I have a few friends who are currently in long distance relationships and they've been together for a while (about 3-4 years).
I just think that a willingness to make things work, no matter what, is the key to a successful long distance relationship.
i totally agree with this post..
true love is definetly the exception.
@steph - Def agree. LDR's are HARD. It's that simple, but if you truly love each other, and are willing to make some sacrifices and work at it, it'll be the best thing ever.
It's difficult, but I agree... if it's true love you do whatever it takes to make it work.
i am in long relationship myself and feel that it is no different and even better. It keeps the spark because opposed to seeing that person everyday and being bored with them, your time you have together you will cherish the most.
It's a heartache at times - sniff.
but I do believe that if both people really wants the relationship to work, they will try to make it work.
LDRs are tough, but some people CAN do it and succeed beautifully.
(My LDR beau is coming to see me for Christmas
I CANNOT WAIT. Enough said.)
I saw this topic and knew I felt kind of obligated to post a comment.
My girlfriend and I have been in a LDR for over 1 1/2 years now. She lives in Brooklyn, NY while I live in Youngstown, OH. Yeah... big difference.
The distance of time we've gone without seeing one another is ridiculous to say the least. But obligations and monetary restraints make the situation like this.
I've got to say, its difficult.... VERY VERY difficult. At times we aren't communicating the best, arguments hit harder (I feel), there is no physical aspect. You can't feel as close.
But we are trying to make it work. I mean its going to take some improving but I think we'll see it through. She means THE most to me... Its just very very difficult sometimes to keep things on the up and up.
I don't doubt that long distance can work, but I think it's important that the couple also have plans to end the long distance.
With that being said, I think the other difficulty with long distance is that sometimes things change, people change... and it's hard to recognize these differences over im, email, phone, but when they move back together, it's difficult to just pick things up where they left it.
LDRs ARE difficult and not for the faint of heart but they aren't impossible. It's nice to read a post that doesn't bash them. I'm going to see my boyfriend in 10 days, after 98 days of separation...soooo excited.
ahhh i like this post alot! i am in one myself, and this is the most successful relationship i have ever been it, not to mention the longest. absence makes the heart grow fonder and there is alot of space whichs makes u think/miss them alot more. i think it really gives times to get to know the other person for who they really are, but i agree must be with right person cuz sometimes it can just get boring after a couple of days. =) true love!
@mz_d0rkabl3@xanga - agreed. time changes a lot of things, whether the person is in front of you or halfway around the world. especially at younger ages when we're still learning and growing in ourselves and the world.
i've never had the strength (or connection) for a LDR. all too often i saw them fail, and i didn't see a future with the people i could potentially be in a LDR with so there were no reasons to support me entering into one.
in a year i'll have to do this though...not looking forward to it but my boyfriend is one of the most amazing human beings i've ever met, and i'm more than happy to wait for him. i know it's going to be really, really hard, but if we can make it through it, i think we'll be stronger than ever. i admire people who can do LDRs and make them work, especially over extended periods of time.
there's no such thing as true love/soulmate.
I am currently in a LDR with someone I went to high school with. It's hard but not impossible and you are 100% right. When it's true love, it can be done. It's not easy but its SOOOOO worth it. We wont be long distance forever!
I'm in a long distance relationship right now. Maybe to some people it wouldn't be counted as long distance, since it is only 1hr30 mins, but i think the fact that my boyfriend doesn't have his license and I don't have a vehicle to drive, makes it more difficult for us to be able to see each other. Which makes it long distance. It's definitely been hard, especially since it's the first time we have been this far away from each other. Before I moved [to college], way back, we thought that this would probably be the end of our relationship, but once the time came we couldn't imagine something like that being the cause to our relationship ending. I am glad we decided to work at it, because i don't think i'd be happy with the fact long distance ruining our relationship. It is something you have to work at, i wouldn't say true love is the only exception, but working through the long distance could lead to it. I think it makes a relationship stronger.
Agreed. I finally saw my boyfriend after almost four months and our love is stronger than ever. I can totally understand your excitement about seeing you bf after so long. When I was on my flight to see my boyfriend I was so nervous (because it was my first flight,ever), but so totally worth it =) Thanks for posting about this topic!
long distance relationships are very difficult. but they can work. i was in one for four years. you both definitley need to have the strength and willingness to make things work.
@steph - Totally agree.
In my experience, even true love can collapse under a long distance relationship. I was in a long term relationship for 3.5 years and it was definitely true love. Around 19 months was long distance (1 summer break was 3-4 months and the other was a 15 month stretch)
Being in a long distance relationship for such a long time changes your perspective of the relationship as a whole. You just end up thinking about it and talking about it and picking it apart. It's painful, it's hard, and you end up questioning yourself about it. Is it worth it? When will it end? Especially in my case...I didn't know when the two of us would be together again :/ It was going to be either 15 months...or indefinitely. We did end up making it through those months (well, mostly, there was a month where it became unbearable and I ended things temporarily). After graduation though, I guess I couldn't handle being in a long distance relationship for YEARS and that's when it fell apart.
It wasn't the same anyway after those 15 months spent apart. (We stayed together for a year after that separation) People grow in different directions when they're not together for more than few days every 4 months or so. When you get back together, it's almost like two strangers that have tied their lives together, trying to reconcile their differences in the name of a love that has morphed and mutated into something neither of them recognize. Sometimes, it turns out well, and other times, you hang on because of hope, security, or sentimentality.
It really wears on you. I wouldn't suggest doing it for more than a year and only if you know for sure that's how long it will take. Otherwise, it pretty much blows. Security is something built on not only trust, but also habit and habit cannot develop unless you've been with the other person for years and years and even then, habits change. Therefore, I think insecurity in a long distance relationship is basically unavoidable because the two people involved are going to have lives that do no include their SO (or else suffer intense loneliness/unhealthy stalkerish tendencies >.<) and the other person is just going to feel...left out, no matter how much you talk to them.
So to answer your question more concisely: no. I do not think true love is an exception. I am no longer that naive :/ I mean, it might work for some (I've seen it!), but it's hard and in most cases that I've seen, it hasn't worked, and those couples (including me and my ex) were so in love.
I think long distance is helpful for the times there ARE seperation, whether it be for a job or another reason.
yeah you can't touch/feel like a person who might live in the neighborhood, but the independence is good.
LDR is not for me. True love or not.
no offense to you. i just absolutely hate it when i read complaints about how hard a LDR is when the time spent apart isn't even THAT long. seriously, 2 months is not the end of the world. if your man/woman leaves you a month or two into the long distance, then the relationship isn't even worth it in the first place.
yeah i'm in a long distance relationship. i only got to see my gf for 2 weeks of an entire year because med school is a bitch and we barely have time. but we're still as intimate and great as before. i believe there are more factors to a successful LDR than just true love. it really depends on how independent both people are in the relationship. being in love doesn't mean we have to stick together 24/7, it's just a mutual understanding that we both care about each other enough to want to make the relationship work, even if there are 1800000000000000 miles between us.
i've been in a couple LDRs.. its really not that bad.. it gives you the ability to be in a relationship and also allows yourself to be stronger, more independent, and grow on your own without constantly clinging to each other physically.
i went a yr w/o seeing my bf because he was deployed to iraq. i couldnt call him or IM him any time i wanted. communication was extremely minimal. but we loved each other so much we made it through!! :)
......7 hrs.....if it's worth it to you, you can make it work. 3 weeks officially.....but we've been *talking* for six months....it's work but all relationships are work.... ( Or I believe you should put effort into all relationships, LDR just need a little more)