This is a story about one boy meeting two friends.
Girl A is sweet and pretty, really laid back and passive.
Girl B is bitchy and pretty, really fun loving and aggressive.
Both girls showed equal amount of interest in the boy.
The only difference was Girl B would initiate hang outs with his friends and learn about him. She also reads his public blog, follows his twitter and befriended him on Facebook. All of them ways to gather information on the boy. Girl A went a more traditional route of waiting for an opportunity to go out in a group to engage him in a conversation and get to know him that way. When the time came for another group gathering, Girl B had much more to talk about with the boy than Girl A because she did her research. Because it seemed like they had so much in common, the boy felt he had a better connection with Girl B, so she gets the guy.
Girl B claims she was smart for approaching him that way. Girl A called her a conniving stalker.
When you know what you want and you know how to get it, is it being conniving or is it being smart?
Comments (64)
Smart.
Girl A is jealous.
I think that in this case, Girl B went about it in a more proactive manner. It's not exactly stalking if the information is being made public by the guy himself. Girl B wanted the boy, so she made the effort to find out his interests, likes and dislikes, etc. Therefore, this probably made him feel as though she was genuinely interested and not just waiting for him to make the first move. Girl B was smart in this case. She's only conniving if she had no real interest in the boy and did all that work just to spite Girl A.
We're in the information age people! ^^ Face to face communication is soo primitive :p
@shoujo@xanga - Agree with your last sentence.
it's the 21st century, use what you got!
Yeah. I mean, Facebook stalking is A LITTLE creepy, but if Boy made the information public then it's fair game.
Girl B was proactive. Girl A was not. Maybe Girl A would win out in the long run (if Girl B is really that much of a bitch) but I think that Girl B's methods are rightfully more effective in the short term.
classic case of "nice girl finishes last". i identify myself more with Girl A, just because i usually don't approach guys... BUT Girl B was just a go getter, so she went and got him. nice people feel entitled to get things, and that's not how it always turns out.
it's smart. i mean come on, if you know what you want, then you do what you can to get it. and get to know about it and all. besides how can girl A be sweet if she just called girl B a conniving stalker over a guy?
Sounds like a stalker to me.
it's being normal, that's what it is.
girl A sounds bitter. if it's public, B is maybe overzealous, but it's totally fair play.
smart.
Smart. It's not like she went about spreading rumors about Girl A, and she didn't do anything that went to the level of stalker.
This doesn't make Girl A any worse than Girl B.
Something to think about though is the other way around. What if it was two guys going for the same girl? A girl who does those kinds of things is not a stalker, but a guy is just CREEPY if he does that. I have consciously limited my facebook usage as a result. And I never look past the first weblog page and the profile page of anybody's xanga.
In my opinion, the question was asked mainly because of what some believe a girl should do when they find someone that piques their interest.
Why is this important?
Now let's say if two guys are going after a girl, and one is shyer about approaching the girl, while the other does all the things mentioned in the entry (adding on facebook, reading blog, etc.).
Would the guy be considered a conniving stalker, or just someone that did his homework?
It's not too far from a guy that takes a good look at a girl as she enters a building and approaches her with a comment based on the information he accumulated.
Note: if the girl who did her homework purposefully morphed herself into an image so the guy would choose her (saying she likes something when she in fact doesn't), then it's just a matter of time until it ends.
neither. i call it creepy.
smart
I wouldn't call it smart or conniving. ...I think if girl b has more to talk about with the boy based on what she learned about him, then she is probably putting on a front. she is probably pretending she is interested in things that she wasn't originally interested in before she found out the boy was. she could just be setting herself up for heartbreak. but it's also good to be informed a little bit about the boy, too, especially if there is competition... just don't pretend to be what you think he wants based on the information he puts out there for the public.
If you're interested in someone, don't you want to make connections with him in any way possible? (ie adding them on FB, and looking for some common interests)
I think it's smart, and if the boy knows that's where she got the information from, then it's awesome. Just because she's the bitchy one doesn't make it wrong. I'm not bitchy, and when I start to really like a guy, I for sure will look at his Facebook and compare our interests. It's also really good for conversation, and to make a joke if you can apply it to something you know he's interested in. I've even gone as far as to download the songs from his music page on Facebook and learned the lyrics, because I wanted to know what he liked about the song.
Only time can tell sometimes
umm.... it is a little creepy that she did all that.... <___< i mean... i'd be a little freaked out if some person i just met started spewing stuff out like "oh yeah so how do you know ___ because they write on your wall a lot! your favourite movie is this too!? omgosh!" i'd just be like WHOA THERE calm down.
You use what is available to you. All's fair in love and war.