Sunday, 29 November 2009
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"I Guess (So)"
I just don't understand how these three words seem to become the chant of every heartbroken or disappointed person in the world.
Whenever you tell a person something true to try and cheer them up, or get them to move on, "I guess so" either means the thing made them truly down in the dumps or the person was in love to the point of overlooking the reality of things. And after being the amateur psychologist to a few who are depressed and heartbroken, I found it discouraging.
Especially, since the last time I remember someone uttered the words "I guess so", I told them the truth about what they ought to do about their failing love. And they didn't do it.
"I guess so" are three words that keep you right in between severely hurt or a tattered heart and longing for a chance to heal. Not to mention that anytime they say these words, its obviously they have been defeated in the game of love. And if anything else brings them down, its going to take hands akin to God to pull them out of the defeated slump. These are words of those wishing upon a star that something that is emotionally, romantically or spiritually draining can get back to something beautiful. It's more of an emotional and possibly a universal copout whenever one mentions these words.
I admit to mentioning these words before in a feeling of uncertainty and disenchantment before (and stopped ever since). I was not completely defeated, but regardless, it did not benefit me at all.
So, what gives? How did these three words become the go-to catchphrase for the heartbroken, disenchanted and the dumbfounded?
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- From: mynameisblueskye@xanga
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Comments (11)
"I guess so" usually means that person is just not ready to take your advice just yet; they want you to stop badgering them but don't want to make you feel bad or push you away, because they know that eventually they will be ready to hear it.
It also has to do with the depression. When your depressed you really don't care about anything. Even if it something good for you, your not gonna jump up and down if you hear something that is good for you.
it basically just means, i'm not sure right now but i'll get back to you on it once i let it sink in ok. i say it all the time, usually when i do say it, it's because i'm already upset at the person but i don't want to say anymore hurtful words to that person until the situation is fully understood.
it means, (for me anyways) that i know that you are right. i know it, but i can't accept it. i don't want to hurt you by rejecting your sentiments, nor do i want to argue against them. they are logical and i can see that for the most part they are true. however, i am feeling a whole mess of crap right now. and i am a little bit hopeless. and really, when it comes to the punch of the issue, i don't want to hear it. i don't want to believe it. and in my mind i am trying to find every little peice of information the contradicts it. but i do know you are right. and so i say "i guess so" because i can not see how to fight it, but i do not wish to embrace it. so i remain hesitant in my confirmation.
because we humans are the only species to posess the emotion called hope.
I dont think it is in the human nature to accept defeat..in anything. whether it be love or work...
we always want a good outcome. false optimism.....keeps us from killing ourselves.
hope.
can be hurtful or helpful...depending on the situation.
@belldingding@xanga - EXACTLY what i was going to say, almost word for word. :)
it's easier as an outsider to see and suggest what the person going through a break up should do, but we don't feel what they feel, or have their history, etc.
i play psychologist for my friends as well, and after going in circles with suggestions and advice, i've mostly given up and pretty much let them act stupid until THEY realize they're being stupid.
@sexncookies@xanga - there's a difference between being optimistic and being delusional...hope is nice to have, but too much sets you up for a worse heartbreak.
@sumtymesiwonder@xanga - hence, why I said it can either be helpful or hurtful...
Many people say that after something bad as heartbreak because, and I'm telling this out of my own feeling, is because your still on the mind set of what you think. That and your mind isn't sane, even if you think it is.
Simple, you kinda don't care enough to hear advice or something along those lines.
i said this a lot during my last relationship, but it wasn't a sign of despair for me. see, i'm really stubborn and argumentative, so i would only say "i guess so" to someone when i was beginning to accept it, after i had turned the corner from being completely in denial to believing that the person's advice was really best for me. i see these as the very start of re-empowering onself once you realize the relationship isn't working out, instead of beating a dead horse and insisting that it's the best thing.
but maybe that's just me.
I can tell you, I've used it in defeat. When there's nothing else left to do but accept my situation...I guess I'll move on.