Saying #1: "When you find that special someone, don't let them go"
My old professor, Professor Clemente, at Pennsylvania State University gives 2 seminars at the end of each semester to his students. One seminar is on the rules of marriage, and the second seminary is on the rules of life. Unfortunately, I do not remember all the rules but I remember this one distinct rule from his rules of marriage seminar. He says, "When you find that special girl, do NOT LET HER GO", and that is how he got his wife whom he has been happily married to for many years.
At that time I was a junior in college, and I thought about this to myself after suffering from an awful breakup with a boy who I thought and hoped that I would spend the rest of my life with. Unfortunately, this boy supposedly broke up with me because he thought I was "too good" for him, and that I "deserved better". But according to my professor's seminar, I believe that if he did love me and wanted the best for me - he would have fought for me. He would have become that man whom HE thought was best for me. He wouldn't have let me go.
Saying #2: "If you love someone you'd let them go".
When are where does this apply?
Because in my heart, when you love someone you fight for them. If the other person is and means everything to you, why would you let that significant person go?
Perhaps this saying, or cliche, holds true when a person loves someone that they can't have or shouldn't have... In cases where that one person's life can be in compromise. Ex. Teacher and student relationships (I just watched this on an episode of "Private Practice") or when a mother is incapable of taking care of her child, even though the love is there.
Saying #3: "The right thing and the wrong time is still the wrong thing"
I hate this cliche, but it holds true many more times than I wish it did. All my life, I've always tried to do the right thing. Doing the right thing was always important to me, especially during my adolescence.
Anyways as an adult, I find myself in situations where I want to do the right thing, but now I realize that the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing; most of these realizations came when dating men. I dated a man who came straight out of a relationship; and although we really hit it off and had a GREAT time together, I didn't realize that he still wasn't over his ex. In return, he broke my heart. He even told me that he loved me, that he was crazy over me, and that he would never hurt me, and we spoke of our future in a promising light. Instead all the dreams of hope turned into despair, he said he would never hurt me, but he paralyzed me, and my heart even after 3 years heart is still weakened. I know this was not intentional, but reality catches up with people. It was the wrong time for him to be in any relationship, and because of that he broke a young woman's heart.
I still believe, if we were to have gotten together when he was more stable, we would have been able to still have our good times, and we would have shared the same feelings, and maybe we would have had a real shot at a fantastic relationship.
Saying #4: "The wrong thing at the right time, can sometimes come out right"
My girlfriend has recently become pregnant. Unfortunately, she found out she was pregnant afer she and her boyfriend had breaken up. For a couple months, my friend cried and cried for her lost lover. You see, before my friend and her ex decided to get together they laid down rules - ultimately, the two were thinking about marriage, and in order to think objectively about their relationship, they laid down rules. Nevertheless, they broke these rules "the wrong thing", and eventually, as hard as it was, they ended their relationship.
A couple months after their break, she discovered that she is pregnant. Now the two are working out their relationship, and their relationship is even stronger than ever before. They have decided to get married and have a family together, and although they still have some kinks to work out with one another, I believe that they will be so much more in love then ever before. I believe that they will have a love that lasts forever because now they are doing what's "right" with time given them.
Which saying do you relate to the most? Or which saying speaks loudest to you right now?
Comments (22)
The problem I have is with the first two. I went through a break almost two months ago (kinda still going through). We've been together for 11 months before we broke up. I thought she was in love with me, but apparently it seemed like that when she felt something weird, it didn't seem like she fought for it. That's what bothers me and I'm still trying to find out why she didn't bother to fight for us.
I truly believe that if you love something, you hold onto it. Which was what I tried to do.
I would go w saying no. 2 because if you feel you're not good enough for someone and you can't make them happy you would still want them to be happy with someone else. Unless you really love them and feel they are the one then you'd want to be there for them til you feel you can be at your best for them.
I think number two is an important lesson. It's related in the past to me.
i like the third. because it's true. in everything, just because something woulda worked out at a different time, doesnt mean jack. because the time is now, and well if it didn't work out, then it wouldn't work out.
Lesson 2. It's the ultimate self sacrifice.
I'm tired of hearing #2, really.
I think a #2 scenario is when ur lover is committed or passionate about something (academics, career) and it requires you to be out of the picture. Even though you love your significant other, you love them enough to let them do what they want to do even though it doesnt involve you in it... something like that
#4 speaks to me the loudest, I'm usually used to hearing "everything happens for a reason" but I think this adage is more powerful. It's pretty amazing.
Two has always been tragic to me, in its own way. I'm a firm believer in putting others' (other's?) happiness before my own. If that means that I need to let them go, so be it. It might be hard, it might hurt like hell, but if they need it they need it, and we rarely want what we need.
#1 and #2 contradict themselves and that bothers me. I agree with #1 more so though. However, I think #4 speaks out to me that most.
#3
It's too true and said far too infrequently.
Yeah, #1 & #2 are fucking worthless. And tts always some hypocritical bullshitter that says them too... you know the type; the person that gives "EXCELLENT ADVICE" ...but doesn't even take it themselves.
ugh.
#2 - coz we can't control someone's life or action. If s/he has fallen out of love and though you can manage to convince her/him to come back, the whole relationship will not going to be the same.. is like you own the body but the heart is somewhere else.. no point having this kind of relationship. It is very hard and hurt deeply to let go someone we love and care deep down, but it take 2 hands to clap.. so if one day he/she is willingly to come back and clap yours, then it is meant to be.. provided your hand is still available for him/her to clap at that time ^_^
I agree with them all.
At this moment in time I really relate to #3.
Me and my boyfriend just broke up like 2 weeks ago. A friend who I've known since high school has been interested in me for a while now and I know I like him but right now would be the wrong time.
#2 and #3 resonate well with me and describe a past relationship. I think #1 is dangerous. You should fight for your love but there is a point where you just have to give up and go with #2.
what class is that so i can transfer and take it?
in any case.
saying #1 - how do you know that's the one? most of the time, some ppl don't realize that, that person they were with was the one until the had already broken up with them.
saying #2 - i can relate. a lot. and it's really difficult. and i wish that maybe, if i had been over my ex, i would still be together with that person i was with now.
but i guess. it wasn't meant to be, if not, we would get back together somehow.
i would think saying two, aside from the extreme, could mean also "letting go" of someone who doesn't love you back. having the grace to admit they don't feel for you the way you feel for them, and then letting them move on to other things without resentment between you.
never heard saying 4.
anyway, i try not to live too strongly by sayings because their are always exceptions and they aren't always true.
the first two.
in my mind, 1 and 2 contradict each other.
often, don't you "love" that "special person"?
@Himeki@xanga - I wish I could remember the same of the class, it's called soc 005? But the key is to get Professor Clemente - i don't know if he's retired yet; i know that there were rumors when i was still at school.
I'm assuming u go to penn state
there is the right time to fight for the one you love and time to let go and i do believe that everything happens for a reason, it may not be clear to you but it will eventually.. so i take a bit of every one of those sayings!
My life has been about #3 recently, but I'm hoping it'll become a #4.
I don't really live by any of these, my favorite relationship related quote is,
"I believe love is primarily a choice and only sometimes a feeling. If you wish to be loved, chose to love and be patient."
And, Chuck Palahniuk said it best about one of these quotes:
"If you love something, set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes."