Saturday, 28 November 2009
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Love Among Friends
I seem to be involved in a horrible situation of affections.
How does this work, I have no idea, but all I know is that I must have done something wrong.
Friend A matches me in personality and temper most wonderfully... And I can trust him with all of my secrets. We've been friends for a couple of years now, and our reciprocal crushing has been going on since our sophomore year in high school. As friends, of course, we kept it to ourselves. Friend A, however, does not speak about his emotions unless I say something about my feelings for him, first.
Friend B is adorable. He's funny, sarcastic, and has a kind of charm that only he can exude. He's liberal, stylish, has amazing taste in bikes and music, and can hold a conversation with me for hours. We flirt, but it's just friendly stuff. For a short while in the beginning of college, I was sure that I was in love with this guy. Friend B, unfortunately, is a confusing individual who cannot be read.
Friend C attends the same university as I do at the moment, and came from the same high school as me. We were always friends, and I continued to pick on him in order to motivate him to do his work. We partied together, and had a few drunken make-out sessions together, and I always made sure that he got back to his room okay. If anything, I played the role of mother more so than the girl he made out with. We're really just good friends. Thing is, Friend C admitted to loving me while he was in a sober state.
Uh oh.
I'm definitely not into playing anyone, and the timing of all of this is just preposterous! Friend A was from early on in high school, Friend B from the beginning of college, and Friend C shouldn't even like me in the first place!
I've been keeping in touch with Friend A and B just as friends, but they always hint at something else. It doesn't really help that Friend B knows that I had a crush on him before... And that his visit made my heart beat like crazy.
It doesn't help that Friend A is an amazing friend who seriously represents my ideal guy...And it doesn't help that both Friend A and B go to different schools than I do, hardly express emotions, and don't seem like they would ever step up to a relationship.
And that Friend C, somewhat of an acquaintance of theirs, really does like me.
And on a superficial level, if any, let's assume that they all look the same, and are all equally tall and handsome.
If you were in this situation, what would you do? How would you distinguish friendship love from being in love? And how would you deal with Friend C?
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- From: Chocolate
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Comments (14)
Love. hahahahahahahahahahaha XD
Oh, and C likes you for more or less the same reason you like A. You don't like C, b/c you would rather be taken care of, like what A does, and you most likely like B, b/c he cannot be read and is highly mysterious to you. Once you figure B out, you'll lose interest. :) So! Ignore C, and continue to tuck him in at night, Ignore B until you feel like playing mental Sudoku, and keep A as a good friend. He may have other ideal friends that you can meet/hook up with/possibly date.
Your friends sound like they don't really have much to do.
New Plan! Point them towards other girls and once you've successfully made them talk about somebody else and not look like they're going for you anymore, you can continue to use this effect against them, thus, making you a less viable target for [unwanted?] affection.
@Simply_Cynical@xanga - This was more or less what I was going to suggest.
C doesn't sound like the guy anyone would really want to date and just because he likes you, you aren't obligated to return the same kind of love. B, as you said, simply has the Unknown Factor. Unfortunately, most people are just people and there isn't anything mysterious about them... unless he's mysterious enough to have a a superhero alter ego, pass. Out of the three, A is obviously the best choice. You've already admitted to crushing on him and finding personalities you really dig is what makes things last.
I vote A, but remember to keep your eyes out for other boys too.
I like Friend B. Haha lol, well character wise. Since he makes your heart beat like crazy, and it seems like he's hinting that he likes you in some way as well then maybe he's the man. But from your perspective, who do you see yourself being with? Who do you constantly think of each and every passing day? I don't know what you should do with C, besides telling him straight out you only think of him as a friend.
if they're all friends with each other, you're going to mess up their friendships if you go with either of them. not saying you shouldn't, just telling you that you will. i'd go with friend A. i was in a similar situation and i am SO glad i went with A. friend A was my best friend, and my ideal guy (though i didn't notice till later on in our relationship). I was HARSH crushing on friend B but like you said, friend B is hard to read. this will complicate things later on if you don't know what he's thinking and if hes not clear to you about what he wants. he's probably giving you mixed signals. and friend C was just never an option cause if you don't like him, don't bother. but break it to him gently.
This really doesn't sound as complicated as you're making it out to be
- UNLESS A and B both have strong feelings for you, too. If it's a
case of YOU being torn between your interest in A and B in addition to
the added complication of C's unwanted amour, then it's not too much to
deal with. You just need to sit and give some thought to each
situation.
Be honest with C about your platonic feelings for him... just do it, then give him some distance and let him deal with that as he pleases.
B sounds like a wonderful friend, but iffy at best as for relationship material. Enjoy your conversations as friends but don't let yourself get too involved unless you gain a better understanding of him - otherwise you could be setting yourself up to get hurt.
A sounds like someone to wait on and see how things go. It sounds like a romantical relationship could be brewing, and that he might be a good guy for it to happen with, so... if he knows you're available and interested, just sit back and if it's supposed to happen, he'll make the move. Don't push it with someone who isn't as interested in a relationship as you are.
Good luck! :)
date them all!
how do you know if you click any of them unless you date them?
@Simply_Cynical@xanga - Goddamn you figured it all out. And my god- I have to agree with you.
Keep A as a potential "more than friend" friend.
well, i don't really think you seem to "like" any of them. so i say you shouldn't date any of them, because from what i'm reading it sounds like you just like them as friends.
go out with b first, then if that doesn't work out, move on to a. you don't want to regret lost chances :P and for c, just be like "yo dawg, i'm sorry but i ain't in love with you, and ya'll was drunk so you looked a lot better to me there."
@Simply_Cynical@xanga - omg. i totally agree. haha i was going to say that about b, but i didn't think about the way you thought of c. haha
A&B are too far away. Long distance is a pain. Wait until after you graduate to date friend B. But I would say date B instead of A because you obviously love B.
C does not seem like boyfriend material. I don't think you like him very very much in that way. Start ignoring friend C.
I feel like through your writing you already know what you want to do. Wait until you graduate to start dating friend B. Keep in touch with him. Meanwhile enjoy being single. :) There's no rush to get in a relationship.
passion. i was stuck in a 3 way choice too. but i stuck with the best friend, that i never knew could make me feel butterflies for the first time.
and as for C, sounds like just because he's closest to you, you're unknowingly using him for your loneliness without A and B... :O not saying that you're doing it on purpose... or that you're a whore or anything because i've done some things i'm not quite proud of i didn't mean to do...
but that's the way i see it.
you know what. I'd go for guy A.
Someone you trust and known for years and also have crushed on a while.
I don't think you should try anything to test out the boys either that's dangerous.
love isn't a game, or a test...
And whoever you do choose, I suggest if it's not B then you shouldn't be friends with him anymore if he makes you feel that way...
And in my opinion, if you want to experiment, because you're in college, experiences and stuff, you should go out with B, since it seems like you're more crazier for him than the other guys.... but if it doesn't work out, and A is there for you, then maybe he's the right one for you.
Even if you may think that he's right for you, doesn't mean you should just go ahead and jump into it, if the feelings aren't right, and if you aren't TOO sure that he is.. especially if you're crushing on some other dude more than friend A. lol.
good luck.
i support polygamous relationships when it's in favor of female species. more free dinner and dates. more gifts. more fun. and you don't have to focus too much energy wondering if he's cheating on you.