Thursday, 26 November 2009
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What Do You and Your SO Do For Holidays?
Just recently my boyfriend proposed to me. Until a little over a month ago we were in a long distance relationship for two years. I'm from Pennsylvania, he's from Ohio. I guess it was just always kind of understood that he visits me around the holidays while he was on break, but we'd spend the actual holiday with our own families. I've only dated one guy other than him and on, say..Christmas he'd go see his family for a bit and then come to my family's thing here so we could be together. This person was in the same state as me though, so of course it was easier.
I don't know if it's a mix of being happy that I'm engaged and happy that it's the holiday season, but knowing I probably won't see him on Christmas just makes me sad..I think he plans on stopping in for an hour or something on Christmas Eve, then driving back to Ohio, which is what he did the day before Thanksgiving. I don't know if I'm just over thinking things or what..
I guess my question is..When do things change? If you don't see your boyfriend/girlfriend on holidays normally, does that change when you're engaged? What if the two families are pretty far apart? If you're only engaged - do you really have a say in getting or not getting to see the other person on the holidays, or is that something that only needs to be worried about once you're married?
As you all can tell..I don't know what to think of the situation..Should I mention anything, or just keep my mouth shut? What would you guys do..Or what have you done if you've been in this kind of situation before?
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- From: xSerendipity713x@xanga
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Comments (17)
We don't celebrate Thanksgiving since I'm not an American and Thanksgiving is SOOOO American, and we don't have a holiday here. But I don't mind eating a nice Thanksgiving meal with friends.
For me and my fiance, we've spent every major holiday together since we started dating. Our families live about ten minutes apart though.
I dont celebrate Thanksgiving either because I am not American, plus I am single.
If I did have a girlfriend we probably go out for a meal the day after, and try to spend equal time at each other house to celebrate the holiday with our family members,
I don't celebrate Thanksgiving myself but I get myself invited to Thanksgiving parties!
Maybe because they want to hitch me up with someone...tsk tsk...!
My SO is very close to his family. I'm not really that close to mine, but I make it a point to stick around during the holidays, because Family is important.
My SO & I just recently moved in together. We spend pretty much every day together. Except for the past few days, because of the holidays, He spends a week with his family about 2 hours away for Thanksgiving. My dad lives right down the street so I stay here. I'm sure Christmas will be the same.
It's weird not spending the holiday together, since we've shared so much other things. But family is very important. I imagine that when you get married or are engaged you can do both family holidays, as long as you work it out with those families.
Kind of like the movie Four Christmases.
Treat it like a normal day, but we'll celebrate it the week before :D I'll be damned if I'm gonna need a calender to tell me when to celebrate a human made excuse to be festive. Just like I'm not gonna wait until valentines day to show my affection to my loved one, but I'll over do it the week before just so I can show him that I don't need a holiday to prove my love.
since you two are engaged i would think that you would work each other into your plans with your family. like spend christmas eve with one family together and christmas day with the other...i mean, you're getting married you're going to have to figure it out eventually...
If you want to be together on the holidays and there is a distance problem, then someone is going to have to sacrifice their time with their family for the other's family. You're probably going to have to decide which family you spend each holiday with, and then switch it up next time.
My boyfriend and I usually don't get to spend holidays together. I'm used to it, cause when I get together with my family, it's with my immediate family (my brother, my parents). My bf's family usually takes precedence over mine, since they're less flexible than mine. Also, I'm working this year, and I'm spending Thanksgiving alone. Gotta love Black Friday.
Holidays are meant to be shared with your loved ones - friends and family. When a couple is engaged, I think every effort should be made by the couple - as a unit - to see each others' families.
@Starlite - I think she was talking about holidays in general. Not just American ones. ;)
I used to just avoid my girlfriend from midnight till midnight on any holiday. So not sure, never been to a gf's families house for any kind of holiday.
I don't think it's a big deal though. It's going to happen, it's just that it only happened this year for the first time, but it will probably happen again. No reason to think into it.
seems like you're worried about it so why not bring it up and ask him? it never hurts to ask. :)
Since my boyfriend and I are just dating we split up and go to our own families houses. I imagine when I'm engaged and married we'll try to do two dinners or switch off each year depending on which is easier and works best for everyone else.
My boyfriend's coming to see me for Christmas AND New Year.
YIPPEEEEEEEEEEE!
My SO and I split the time with our families,So we spend them together. Our families are only a half hour away though.
My brother is in a relationship somewhat like yours. He and his new (he just proposed yesterday!) fiancee live in Kansas, probably about 12 hours from where we, his family live. They live about 20 minutes from her family. Anyway, when it comes to holidays, they spend them together, and kinda alternate which family they are with. They stayed with her family for Thanksgiving, but are coming to see us for Christmas. It's almost like joint custody in a way.
One thing I've noticed is that even if my brother has the opportunity to come back to us for the holidays on his own, he won't do it without her. Which, even though it makes me a little sad, is perfectly understandable because the point of serious dating and relationships is to form your own family with this person, and with their family, so his not coming home isn't undermining the importance of family, but rather upholding it.
Maybe you and yours could try something like that? After all, soon enough you will be your own family, and I don't think I've ever heard of husband and wife going two different places for holidays.
my bf came to thanksgiving, i'm going to his place xmas eve. next year we swap... lol. s'all's fair