Q. My boyfriend, Tyler and I have been together for about a month. Everything had been running smoothly within the relationship on both ends. I absolutely love spending time with him. Out of absolutely no where, he broke up with me. Tyler told me that he no longer had the same feelings for me as he did in the beginning of the relationship. The next day he tells me that he doesn't want me to get over him, and that he needs some time for himself as a result of not knowing what he wants. He obviously doesn't want to be with me. What does a 'break' in a relationship mean? What does it entail? Is there the slightest chance of him coming back to me? And how long should this last? A. While I can't tell you what the chances he'll want to get back together with you are, I can say he's sending you mixed signals. I'm sorry you're in this situation because you're clearly still hung up on him. But honestly, you're better off miserable without him, then forcing a relationship that just is not working. He recognized a flaw in the relationship that you were not aware of, perhaps this is a product of miscommunication. If your relationship is going to work you need to talk to Tyler about this. I also urge you to identify any issues you may have overlooked. During the first few months of a relationship it's easy to be blissfully blind to another person's flaws--you may love spending time with him, but for your own mental health you need to acknowledge that he has flaws as well. If it doesn't work out, you'll be mentally and emotionally prepared for it.
Now as far as what it means to "take a break:" this varies from person to person. But basically it means something has shifted in the relationship and one person or the other needs sometime to sort our their feelings. With that said, there's usually some sort of basic time-line to keep in mind--will this "break" last for 2 weeks, 2 months, or 2 years? The two of you will have to get together and discuss when you'll reconsider or completely dismiss the relationship. Considering you've only been together a month, I don't think this break should last longer than a few weeks. If he no longer has the same feelings for you he once did, you need to accept that and move on to someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
