Here's the thing, when people are younger they tend to be more adventurous and more willing to explore and try new things. As they get older, you've already been there, done that, try this, liked that, etc...
My older girlfriend had her adventures already and knows what she likes, does not like, will try again and will not try ever again. So naturally when the topic of previous sex partners and things they've done in the past came up between her and they younger guy she's dating, things got ugly real fast. She's admitted to trying anal and he's never done it before so he wants to try it. She on the other hand, told him how much she hated it after trying it and it was a one time deal because she was curious a decade ago. It's not like it was always on the menu and she decided to take it off course now. He refuses to drop the topic and is getting all kinds of angry, spewing out the statement "If you love me, you'll do it with me."
What the H-E- double hockey stick?!?! Seriously? Is it okay to use that line to get what you want? Especially if it's something your SO does not want to do? What would you do in that situation? Give in or stand your ground?
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Comments (81)
Doing something you don't want to do sexually has nothing to do with whether or not you love someone. That is just ridiculous. If there was something I absolutely did not want to do that my boyfriend wanted to do, I would stand my ground, and he would understand and respect my feelings.
That's terrible. Just terrible.
Ive been known to give in. But now, hell no. Stand my ground. Especially when it comes to sex.
i dont get it, why even fight to try it if you know shes not going to let you do it again if you do like it.
Although I totally support trying new things with your partner and giving things a second chance (because the first time often sucks just from being inexperienced)...
...that is definitely NOT the way to go about it. That's a terrible line to use to pressure someone into doing something. It'd make more sense if they talked it out, discussed it fully, addressed any concerns she had or ways that it was bad last time that they might be able to improve, and only tried it again when she was comfortable. But if she gives in to him now when she's uncomfortable with the idea, it pretty much guarantees her second experience with it will suck as well.
I would say, "girl, you you love ME, you will understand why I don't WANT to do it."
This line of reasoning is beyond selfish. If you love me, you'll do it? Not everything is about you, douche.
I HATE that line. If someone says it to me, I'm done.
I don't see any problem with it.
@salvatruca_stalking_havok13@xanga - agreed.
Hate that, usually it's the girls who make the guys do things by using it though. Interesting to see a guy try to get anal sex out of it...kind of a waste. Save it for something important heh.
alright, i admit it, I've said this line before... but it was used when asking for a drink or a companion to the store. To try to pressure someone with this line to do something sexually or anything else, nope. it's wrong.
There is a quote, for the life of me I cannot remember who it is by, however I believe it's from Ralph Waldo Emerson, or some such person. However, on to the quotation.
"Selfishness is not doing what you want, but expecting other people to do what you want."
I think this adjusted view of selfishness is incredibly pertinent to today's society, but I'll simply correlate it to the matter at hand.
He is expecting her to do something that he wants. Regardless of what lines he uses or manipulation tactics he employs--making her feel guilty, intimidated, or insecure--it is selfish, that's the bottom line. The fact that he used love as his manipulation card is a separate issue, completely horrendous and a perversion of everything that I believe love is, and everything it stands as a symbol of.
It makes me sad that people think that using this as a reason to get your way is acceptable.
But to put reiterate, my opinion to your question is an emphatic "no".
nah that line used in a serious tone is never good. i'd say ditch him ... or at least get him to understand you cant get everything you want just by saying that
I can be a cynical bastard, granted, and things on here are sometimes blown out of proportion. But this dude is a douchebag, low level, fucking tool.
He's just dumb. You never use that line in that circumstance. He gets the "Douche" stamp. If she doesn't want to do it, don't force her to.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, the quotation is by Oliver Wendell Holmes.
i think its a fair statement...but you have to know where when who why and how you say it... or you could just set yourself up for some big disappointment haha
growing up my mommy told me boys would use that line to get into my pants, and any boy who did that obviously didn't love ME.
no, it's not okay. it's disrespectful and a sign of immaturity, in my book. if you truly loved someone, you wouldn't guilt them into doing something they really don't want to do. i know my boyfriend would never use that line on me, nor i on him. the only times this doesn't apply is like...chores need to be done around the house and sometimes my boyfriend doesn't want to do them, and i have to hound him to get some help. but his lack of enthusiasm for chores doesn't mean he doesn't love me.
anyway, i guarantee you, if you ask ANYONE why they love their SO, or how they know their SO loves them, they won't say "because we have butt sex." kthx. anal doesn't equal love.
Uh, love doesn't equal you doing everything the person wants you to do. =_=
Uh, no way.
when i get that line, i just ignore it or use it back to them so they'll stop asking me.
this looks familar, now where did i see it, oooohh look-key here... hint: the picture... it's a different tactic in getting what one wants...
either way, they're both bad to use, especially this one here, when you're dealing with someone who's naive, he/she will feel guilty for sure and be suppressed...
You tell him/her if you "loved" me you'd stop asking me to do something I have told you I didn't want to do. That is what you say turn that dumb a** statement against them. And then let the little one go.