Tuesday, 24 November 2009
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What's the Appeal of Older Men?
I am a woman. I am 23-years-old...for some reason, I find myself crushing on younger men all the time. It's not significantly young, but by about 2, almost 3 years younger. All my friends talk about how they can't date younger men, or that they can't take someone's virginity, or that they have to date someone older.
I don't get it. What's the appeal with older men?It feels like sometimes I'm the only one to be crushing on younger men, at least that's the way it is when compared to my friends. It's natural for an older guy to be dating younger girls by that much, but I wish it weren't such a big deal when an older girl dates a younger man. I don't feel maturity has anything to do with it. I can be serious when I need to be, and have fun when I want. Just, older men, I don't get the appeal...at all.I've hung out with a man who is 29-years-old, he acts about my age anyway...so why not just date someone my age or a bit younger instead of an older guy who acts way too young for his age? When 18/19-year-olds tried to date me, though, that's when I cross the line, I don't care if they are legal but it's like dating a friend of mine's kid brother or something.
Is there something wrong with me that I am wanting to date younger men?
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- From: anonymish
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Comments (86)
nothings wrong, I prefer my husband hes older than me, Im 23 he's 32, its all a matter of choice I believe age doesn't matter.
I think it isn't in the numbers. In my opinion, as long as you are both over 18 you should not be basing your boyfriend choices on age. Who the man is should matter much more than how old the man is. I think the appeal of older men is in the fact that they tend to be more confident in who they are, they are generally not so volatile in their emotions which means they are more patient, and they generally have reached a point of stability which makes it easier to see who they really are instead of wondering who they might end up being some day. Of course you can find immature men of all ages adn vice versa but in my experience that is the appeal.
There's nothing wrong with you; it's just a personal preference. You're attracted to men as individuals, not as groups, and within any age group, men's maturity levels can vary greatly. Also, maturity is not necessarily the most important characteristic that all people look for. Sometimes physical appearance, wealth, personality, interests, etc. matter more. Men from any age group can fulfill those requirements.
@tsh44@xanga - Well said.
Older men have it together. They know what they're doing and what they want in life. They're generally not so immature like little boys are... ;)
@chelseanataliex@xanga - thank you
i'm with you! i almost always date younger guys (i'm 24, and they've been between 1-3 years younger than me). the one time i had an older bf (7 years older), i thought he'd have his act together, but boy was i wrong! it turned out he just had tons of baggage. now more than ever i prefer younger guys.
@LauraG0929@xanga - Exactly.
Plus, all these younger guys nowadays are looking more and more feminine. I like manly men.
@MsKittyCatty@xanga - "Plus, all these younger guys nowadays are looking more and more feminine. I like manly men."
HAHAHA, you saw my man in stilettos, right?! Er...he's normally manly...eep! =p
@LauraG0929@xanga - LOL, yeah, but I promise I wasn't thinking about that when I typed that though, lol! Hey, he's a soldier- maaaaaaanly!
@MsKittyCatty@xanga - Omg, haha...yep. He's crazy.
I want myself an older man.
My boyfriend is younger than me by almost a year.
It helps he both looks and acts older than me.
But I can't really explain the appeal. I love older men. And what I mean by that is much older. I mean George Clooney, Richard Gere older. And honestly, I couldn't tell you why.
I don't see the big deal in dating younger men. I used to think it was weird to date a guy who was younger than me but of course not anymore. I really think it depends on the guy.
Genereally, women mature faster than men so it makes sense for a woman to want an older guy because then theoretically they would be on the same or similar maturity level. I feel that if this is true, for me to date a younger guy (I'm 21 so I mean maybe 19 or 18) that they would really have the maturity of a 16 year old and I frankly have absolutely no patience for that kind of nonsense.
Well, I'm almost 21 and I have the HUGEST crush on Taylor Lautner.
And Justin Bieber...........
Wow, I'm going to be such a cougar when I'm older.. lol.
My boyfriend just turned 19 and my ex boyfriend was 21 when I was 19. It's funny because my 19 year old boyfriend is about a billion times more mature than my ex boyfriend who is now almost 23. Anyway, I prefer younger guys. Old guys are gross and I feel more vulnerable with older guys, like they could easily hurt me, ya know. I don't know..
Anyway, get this, my mom is 11 years older than my step-dad. That would mean, when she was 23, he was 12! Of course it would be bad then, but I guess as people get older age doesn't matter as much.
@tsh44@xanga - Agreed :)
I like a dude to know at least a little about what he's doing.
Younger guys tend to be more fucking retarded.
i'm dating someone much older than me and have been for over a year now..
teenage boys my age just don't do it for me...
i mean, we're always better off as friends
it's usually commitment issues.
however, i'm sure there are plenty of young guys out there willing to commit..
i'm just speaking from personal experience (:
In my experience, younger men seem to be emotionally unstable. They are clingy and way too attached. Older men tend to be more secure. They know who they are and don't feel they have to prove anything to you.
I think it totally depends on the people involved though. That just seems to be the most common scenario.
I love older men. :)
I'm more matured than any boys at my age and maybe that is why I prefer older men. I don't know. They are more charming and give me more sense of security, I guess.
In the broad general sense, older men tend to be more established in their lives than their younger counterparts. As men get older, they do tend to get more direction in life, be more stable in their future, and just more willing to settle down. Men may mature at different rates compared to each other but for the most part, they do get more mature with age. Taking myself as an example, I think age has made me a better man. I've had time to learn from my mistakes, gain experience, and know what I want after having the chance to taste what life has to offer.
One thing I am not jealous of -- given that all of my friends married right of school -- is that I *DO* have the benefit of age where I am emotionally and financially more stable.
It's not just that but like the quality of the dates are significantly better. I mean in college where everyone is broke -- you can't do as much. That being said, I have the disadvantage of where my friends found fiances while they were young and stupid
@LoneDarkness@xanga -
Yea, lack of maturity goes both ways -- it's a misnomer that women mature faster than men. The reason that men have to be older (more mature) is that men have a greater role (more difficult) than women in relationships.
I'm dating a guy whos almost a year younger than me. We've been dating for almost 4 years. He's actually very mature for his age. I usually like guys who are about 1 year younger or older than me.
The older you get, the less age difference matters, its more about the person. When you are in your pre-teens, one year can be a big difference. When you get to your thirties and older, you feel differently than you did in your twenties. Your culture plays a part too. I think it is most important to go after whatever you prefer and don't worry about what others think.
I think it all comes down to maturity, and I really like guys who are more mature.
For me, when I was a girl growing up, my father paid no attention to me. I think I go for guys who are about the age my father was when I was in grade school...trying to prove to myself that I can win their attention.
Now that means they are only 5-7 years older than me...but when I was in my 20's they were twice my age.
Maybe in a few years...I'll have caught up..I wonder if when I am 65, I'll be trying to catch the eye of 45 year old men...hmmm, not a pretty thought