I'm not saying it's okay to fake an orgasm but it happens more often than you think. Since my last blog post, honesty and telling the truth was mentioned throughout most comments so it's got me thinking what if we put a spin on things and put you (the reader) in the spotlight?
A while back I was hanging out with a few girl friends and one of them mentioned how it wasn't a big deal to fake an orgasm if she's not into it or if sex was bad especially if he's trying so hard. Another one mentioned how she didn't like going down on a guy so she purposely did it badly so they wouldn't ask her for it. So clearly, they didn't tell the truth because it can cause a fight and lead them to splitsville. For the friend who doesn't like giving BJs, that's just her personal choice and it's what she likes or don't like and if a guy can't deal with it, then they don't have to stick around.
Now my question to you (my readers) is would you fake an "O" or lie to your significant other in order to spare them the truth which hurts or is honesty still the best policy here?
Comments (48)
Honesty is the best policy, in my mind.
Well, if you don't tell them that you aren't enjoying it... how is it supposed to get better?
If you plan to have more than a one night stand, helping them improve is NEVER a bad thing.
if you're with someone who has too big of an ego to be hurt by the thought that he's not on his a-game a hundred percent of the time i think you ought to seek pleasure elsewhere.
Honesty is the best policy.
@steph - @untainted_love_for_her@xanga - since yo both said the same thing, i agree with both of you :D
as for me, i don't think it would be possible for me to fake it because i orgasm super easy. like seriously, i'm talking 30 seconds in. and it just keeps happening ;D
this brings to mind "the ugly truth" sometimes you're with someone you really love and maybe you just aren't into it at the moment. it's not like they can't get you off, but faking it just saves them the insecurities. albeit i wouldn't recommend faking them on the reg.
"Goodness you're bad in bed."
See, it's not too hard...
I'd never fake it, that's just stupid. If it's not good, just tell him/her what you like and what you don't like, and if you mean anything to them they'll take it under advisement. And if they don't, they ain't no good anyway.
idk i used to fake it earlier on, but it was cause i was poor at communicating. i've gotten better at showing him what i like/don't like, because, yeah, in my mind, honesty IS the best policy.
My, that's a sticky situation.
I can't imagine myself giving blowjobs. =S
I faked it in the beginning of my ex and my relationship bc I didn't know how to work with my body to get the big O when we were doing the deed but after some time, the truth came out and we found ways to make me have the big O. :)
Faking is counterproductive. It just encourages the guy to do things that you wanted him to get over with quickly, right? That's why you decided to fake...so he'd stop. Then what happens? He feels rewarded and does it again and again and again and again til finally you turn around and say, "You are the worst f*ck on the face of the Earth and I have nothing to compare you to. Yet I know that. That's how bad you are."
Honesty. if your SO cant get you to have an orgasm, you need to communicate what u do/dont like. if he's worth keeping, he wants it to be real and he'll be more than happy to take your advice on what to do/dont do :] remember, they can't feel what our bodies feel--they need our help!
Every once in a while I'll fake it. It's pretty rare, but if my man is working really hard and nothing is happening, I'll pretend. He knows what to do, but sometimes I'm just too lazy or not really in the mood.
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - LOL.
@astrellia - What's your #?
=P
@Coffee_Kaioken@xanga - ask my boyfriend for it ;) lol
@astrellia - XD
I don't think it's really fair to accuse girls who fake orgasms of being deceitful or lazy or unable to communicate with their boyfriends. Â I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year and we have a ridiculously open and honest relationship. Â We've never had any problems communicating and are just as in love as ever. Â We have a great sex life- he knows what I like and neither of us are afraid to offer pointers or suggestions.
...however...some nights if he's been trying really hard and we're both tired it's honestly just easier to fake than it is to tell him I know I'm not getting there. Â It avoids making him feel bad and it keeps him from insisting on continuing to try which often just leads to frustration or irritation. Â It's an unusual night if I don't orgasm because he's good at what he does but if I know it's not happening or I'm just too tired or not feeling well then I'll fake it for both of our sakes.
Honesty is the best policy; but I have faked it ... just to get him to hurry up and go LOL.
Faking it is so bad, "good thing it's never happened to me"
It will make for a very boring relationship if it has to be faked every time.... let it out so the problem can be fixed.
Here is my take on the situation: I am a selfish lover, to an extent. I want to be pleased, and if I am not pleased, then you will not be either. So if you are doing a bad job, I WILL let you know. I mean, why suffer? If you tell them they are good at something and they really suck, they will keep doing that sucky thing and you will have who knows how long in the future to suffer through it. I will admit, I might lie a little when telling you that you suck and need to change it/get better. For example, instead of telling you that you are a horrible kisser, I will just say... I have a special kissing style, and if you are cool with it, can we do it my way? Sorry, I just like kissing a certain way although there is nothing wrong with your way. It sure as hell beats saying, I can't kiss you anymore because it's so gross and disgusting I'm gonna throw up!
But I will say this, I have never ever once in my entire life faked an orgasm. You have to earn that priviledge, hunny.
I fake them, but only because I only have the energy to get really into it about half the time, and it's not anything he's doing or not doing the other half. He feels good when I feel good, so what's the problem with making him feel good? I often just like sex for the closeness, but half the time, I'll know going into it that nothing will happen for me.
We're new parents to twins, so it's not like we get much oppritunity these days. Why take away potential pleasantness by making him feel inadequite?
I'm going to say that sex is probably the only thing where you cant fake it till you make it!
If you cant talk about sex within your relationship, then how are you going to talk about other things? Most women have trouble having an orgasm with just a penis in the vagina, and guys dont know it. Guys usually assume that girls dont like it as much. Its about communication, girls should be willing to say "Babe can you use your tongue before you use the penis, thanx so much". By faking it, you are only hurting yourself!