Sunday, 22 November 2009

  • Text Dumped


    I got dumped today.  He said that he could not see it working in the long-term.  I got dumped for no reason.  He said it's nothing I've done.  It just isn't working.  He is nearly 30 and has been in numerous relationships that end before the year is up.  He did it by text because he's a coward.  Apparently he couldn't meet up and tell me because he still has feelings for me and wouldn't have done it.  If he still had feelings for me he wouldn't have dumped me. 

    I feel empty and I keep crying.  It's so pathetic. I imagined a future with him.  That's how stupid I was. 

    I've deleted every trace of him from my phone so I don't drunk dial him.  He has used me up and spat me out, so if nothing else I need to keep a hold of my self-respect by not contacting him.

    I've lost a stone in 3 weeks over worrying about what's going on with him.  At least losing weight is a positive thing.  I need to do well in Uni, have a really fabulous life and meet a guy that loves me for me and doesn't waste my time or screw with my emotions. 

    I wish I could stop crying, but I guess it's just shock.  A whole year we've been dating and he dumps me by text.  His argument was that he wouldn't have been able to end the relationship if he'd seen me or heard my voice because he still cares about me but knows he needs to end things now because he can't see us having a future.  He could have told me that in person and although it would have hurt I would have had a lot more respect for him. 

    Seriously...

    People these days. 

    I would rather have been told to my face that he no longer loved me than being sent this 5 page long text saying how wonderful I am, but that it isn't working.  What a pile of rubbish. 

    Is text dumping ever right? 

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Comments (64)

  • NANSOO@xanga

    I can relate to this. For the past week, me and this guy had been talking everyday on the phone and communicating back and forth. I thought we had something good going on, but just today, I found out that he deleted me off of Facebook with no explanation. I'm not even sure what I did wrong. If he didn't think we would work, I would rather have him tell me---through text, or a message on Facebook. But nope---he removed me just like that with no explanation. I was so hurt. I thought I deserved a little more than that. At least there was an explanation through texting from yours. 
  • salvatruca_stalking_havok13@xanga

    He dumped you via text message? This looks like a job for kicking him in the nads (except not really since violence won't anything).

    Honestly, text message break-ups are never appropriate. The idea that a person is so disconnected from proper social interaction that they feel an electronic message limited to 140 characters or less is an adequate way of serious communication is telling. I'm sorry for what you're going through, but maybe this is for the better. He clearly doesn't know how to handle a break-up, how would he handle a long term relationship?

  • macphoto@xanga

    @salvatruca_stalking_havok13@xanga - absolutely true.
  • dlmcniel@xanga

    Text dumping is so so so wrong.
  • Sweetest_Sin_Of_Mine@xanga

    My ex dumped me via text as well while I was pregnant with his child.

    He said he thought this would work better as a friendship. And then he changed his story to "I'm not qualified". Well, he got one thing right. If he can't be a man and end our relationship in person, then he's not qualified.

    Aren't some men lovely?

    Hang in there though. Once the shock wears off, you'll realize what a tard he is.
  • allyouwanted15@xanga

    Text dumping is never right. I know how you feel, as my ex boyfriend and I were in an on-again, off-again relationship, and every single time he broke up with me, it was over text. I hate text dumping, and its never right. All it does is cause even more unnecessary hurt and pain.
  • EnjoyEdii@xanga

    Sorry that you were text dumped. No one deserves that. 
  • JusticeCho@xanga

    I always try to play devils advocate so I'm not defending him here. Buuut there are a few possibilities.  Perhaps he knew if he dumped you via text you would lose respect for him and start to hate him, which would make it much easier for you to move on, rather than if he had just come face to face and been like "I still love you, I just can't be with you." That would just leave you with the thoughts that it's possible you might get back together once he wakes up.

    Or he could just be a coward, I dumped my very first gf of 2 weeks through email, and I still regret it.  I feel like it was a cop out and it sucked.

    I had a friend dump his gf over text, but I later found out he was already sleeping with another girl so he just didn't want to see her out of guilt I guess.
  • decembriel@xanga

    No, I can't think of a circumstance in which a text dumping is the right thing to do.
  • fiery_redhead

    I have to admit that I'm guilty of doing this.  I wish it could've been handled differently but we lived over an hour away from each other and we had only been dating a few weeks.  It was nowhere near serious and I was just really fed up & irritated with some of the things he would say to me.  And I just had to finally end it through a text message because that's how we started arguing.  
  • LlothoftheDrow@xanga

    Coward. That was a selfish thing for him to do. Breaking up with someone IS always selfish, but he could have at least considered his feelings-him knowing he would be hurting you. You're better off with out this grown up child. Don't make the mistake I did. I went through a bunch of emotional turbulence like you are growing through for over 2 years with this boy that I (still) love very much. Because he'd pull little stunts like your old kid did and be a total ass about and play with my feelings. Remember lady, you're a fox, a chilosa!!!!
  • RazorBladeParade@xanga

    If he dumped you via text, maybe it's for the best lol. 
  • Salivarysatisfaction

    @Sweetest_Sin_Of_Mine@xanga - That blows my mind that someone would actually do that to someone in your situation.


    I think it's ok to text message break up within the first month of dating. After a year? Shameful. It's bad that it took him a year to realize that he didn't see you in his future, and that hurts, but he should have respected you enough as a human being to bring it up to you in real life. What a coward.
  • breaking_expectations@xanga

    To play devil's advocate, I think in some circumstances it's right.

    I mean if you only went on a few dates and weren't close anyways?
    Or a long distance relationship that never really was physical?

    And, I know I'd rather be given the decency to breakdown in private. I've been dumped in the middle of a school day, which is very embarrassing.
  • BlackPoetrybyFG@xanga

    if you have an abusive partner that could possibly do harm to you it'd be acceptable to break up over texting in my opinion. psycho girlfriend/abusive boyfriends come to mind
  • heavy_lightness@xanga

    I'd just like to thank everyone for the comments :).  It's true he really is a coward and I know it's for the best.  I wrote that post not long after I got the text and was extremely angry, but despite still being upset I know deep-down that I'm better off without him. 


  • wolvenchic@xanga

    If long distance maybe, but I think it at least deserves a phone call. Ive had a dude leave me after a year, I felt used and it was one of those "its not you, its me" deals. He was an ass, and like you, I knew I deserved better. Stay strong girl.
  • BlackJackBebe@xanga

    @heavy_lightness@xanga - good on you hun! keep your head up high and stay strong <3333333333
  • helpingkill@xanga

    Hell no, and for that matter i dont believe in long distance; not an excuse. I'm really sad about what people have turned into, it's like we're turning back into animals at an alarming rate.
  • XoAsianBabioX@xanga

    text dumping is cowardly and pathetic. never okay. 
  • untainted_love_for_her@xanga

    Text dumping is never justifiable, not even in a long distance relationship.
  • wizard_howl@xanga

    It's never right. My ex dumped me over Facebook chat and I still hate him for it, in fact, if I saw him anywhere I'd punch him in the face for throwing me back into depression and making me feel exactly how you feel. Move on and be as happy as you can be. Don't even think about him. He's a selfish jerk for doing that and a coward.
  • Swhatley@xanga

    It is never right. And i'm sorry you have to go through this. :(
  • laytexduckie@xanga

    I was dumped over the phone when we've been dating for almost 11 months. I went through what you're feeling through and it's normal. I still have feelings for my ex even though it's been over a month and a half. But, for that guy to dump you over text, he is the biggest coward and you deserve much better than him anyways. It's okay to still experience that pain of being heartbroken. I understand that you can still love him and it's normal. It's hard to let go out something you love. But don't worry. Day by day, you will get better and find someone better.
  • utoppia@xanga

    NO. It is never ever right, okay or acceptable to text dump. He's a pathetic coward and he will get what's coming to him. Just move forward and never look back.

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