Interracial dating has been a sometimes-controversial topic for many years, and now the idea of "intercultural" dating has become a buzzword. The Internet has only made the world smaller, making it easy to meet someone on the other side of the world who just might be your soulmate.
When I was younger, I was a huge fan of
Clarissa Explains it All. I remember one episode where Sam laments about his perfect girl: "What if she lives in Helsinki? I'll never find her!" With dating sites like eHarmony and match.com and even on Facebook and MySpace, it's possible to meet those people.
Studying abroad has also contributed to dating interculturally. A friend of mine spent what she thought would be a semester abroad in England where she met someone she fell for. She came back stateside to finish her bachelor's degree but as soon as she graduated, the two got engaged. She lives in a London suburb now, planning a wedding and working as an ex-pat. In college, I worked with the English as a Second Language department at my school. Through it, I made friends and met people from countries like China, Indonesia, and Belgium. I also dated a few of the guys in the program, including some from Saudi Arabia. Since the culture of dating here is so radically different compared to their homeland, there were obvious differences as far as what we expected in relationships (and also communication barriers caused by language.) I still feel very lucky to have seen a side of Arabic culture I wouldn't have gotten otherwise, and I'll never forget the first American wedding I took a boyfriend to.
Languages aren't the only places couples can clash: simple dating traditions can also be misconstrued. Customs across cultures vary greatly, leaving much room for tension. In the Middle East, arranged marriages are very common. Men from the region are generally up-front with the information that they might have someone back home and are just looking for someone to have fun with on their study in another country, but I've seen many girls get hurt when their man boards a plane back because she can't understand that culturally, they weren't meant to be.
Have you ever had an intercultural relationship? Or even a miscommunication with a partner from your own country? Would you ever move to another continent to be with the one you love? Could you date someone who you knew might be part of an arrange marriage someday?
Comments (19)
yes I have dated other cultures and yes I have dated a man with an arranged marriage. I wouldn't change the experience for anything. I love him with all my heart to this day and hope he has a wonderful, happy life. And, I'd move to another country if the opportunity was there. I'd move to India in a heartbeat.
I had. We didn't have any clash on language but, at first, our cultures on dating and what is taboo and what's not cause some small friction. But, as you said, it's interesting to know such things about other cultures you wouldn't get othewise...
clarissa explains it all. that brings me back.
i am in one.
he's chinese malaysian, and i'm australian.
we met during uni, and now live together.
i'll be going to malaysia in over 2 weeks to meet his family.
i don't know if i'm more excited, or scared. haha :)
I haven't yet dated too far out of my own culture. I'm a mama's boy though, so I want my mom and whoever I'll marry to be able to communicate and get along. That probably means somebody within my culture. My parents claim they'll accept whoever I've chosen though, so I haven't ruled it out.
That's a lot of questions. I think anyone who's ever been in a relationship has experienced miscommunication problems in their relationship. Intercultural relationship? If you mean relations with someone from a different country while they were living in a different country then no. If you just mean someone with a different ethnic background then yeah, I'm a half breed so I'll never meet someone the same as me...which does cause problems. I would move if I was already with her for a long time and then she had to move somewhere...but not move just to be with someone I've never been with. Nope wouldn't be able to date an arranged marriage person, unless they planned to run away and not fulfill the marriage and marry me instead.
@BlackJackBebe@xanga - That's awesome. I'm Malaysian Chinese, too, and my boyfriend is American. Haha.
I've also got Malaysian Chinese friends who are in Australia and either are dating or have married their Australian SOs. Btw, which part of Malaysia is your boyfriend from? I live in the capital 
To answer the OP's questions: I'm definitely gonna move to the US soon. And miscommunications due to culture are common. It's just a matter of how the people in the relationship try to work it out. If they truly love each other, the cultural barriers will be overcome.
@FreeeVerse@xanga - Wow, awesome :D yeah, he's from JB [?!] which is near Singapore, so he's a lucky duck in that he can visit both :) i'll be going over to Malaysia for his sisters wedding, so i'm SO very excited, even the thought of flying won't rain on my parade :D i'll also be going to Miri to visit a friend i made here years ago in college. :D:D
can not waiiiiiiiit <3
ps. i really love your answer to the OP's question's. so very true :)
@BlackJackBebe@xanga - Ahh, JB. I've been there and also to Singapore, of course (since they're so fricking near each other
). Good to know you're excited about going there as well as to Miri. I've been to Miri myself - great place! Enjoy yourself, ya?
thank you so much, i definitely will :D <3
and you'll be moving to the US ?!
i really want to go there for a holiday or something! lol :)
@XoAsianBabioX@xanga - I know, right?
I would (and probably will some day) move to another continent to be with the one I love. My husband is in the US Navy, and I'm sure someday we'll be living overseas, if he makes this his career. I would love to go to Europe, but there are also places in the Pacific that I wouldn't mind going to (though I wouldn't really be terribly happy with Guam).
sandra_godswill@yahoo.com
My boyfriend is Korean and I'm American. There are a few barriers, the biggest one being that it's more comfortable for his family and some friends to speak Korean rather than English, so they tend to do that...I've gotten used to it though. There's definitely some cultural differences, but it's a fascinating learning experience so I embrace it.
I've dated a guy that moved in my town during my high school years, he was from México! an adorable guy and a great friend, and there were A LOT of cultural differences between us. I think i almost punched him once because he was religious and said abortion was not 'proper'... We didn't agree on certain things. anyway. I'm presently dating someone from far away, he's Scottish, and even though the language barrier is not a problem (i understand his accent perfectly) there are some vast cultural differences, but we learn from one another and we've known each other for over 3 years now, and I've never met a man so wonderful. I wouldn't mind moving to his country, not at all. :)
Well I've dated people who were ignorant about any culture. o.0
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I think different cultures adds to the excitement.