Saturday, 21 November 2009
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The Fear of Rejection
Today, I had about 45 minutes to kill and I was no where near my house. So I decided to grab a magazine and get some green tea from Starbucks. I walk in and see a VERY cute guy sitting and studying and... not looking at me at all. So I got my tea and conveniently grabbed a seat near his. He looked over, smiled, and went back to his studying. I sat for the next 40 minutes willing him to talk to me (on a related note I apparently have no psychic abilities).
Backstory: a few weeks ago an incredibly good looking guy came in to the restaurant where I work and flirted with me for a while. I debated giving him my number but chickened out. He left without leaving his number (he did tip me 40% though!) Anyway, I do not know that I will ever see him again so I regret not giving him my number.
Today I sat there trying to get the strength to talk to this guy and thinking about rejection. Why are we all so afraid of it? What is the worst that could happen? A total stranger says he's not interested? So what? There could be a million reasons for that. Maybe he has a girlfriend. Maybe he likes girls with a different hair or eye color. Maybe he likes girls who are a different race. Or are taller than me. Or shorter. Or skinnier. Or heavier. Maybe he doesn't like girls at all! Who knows?
So I gathered up all my courage. I pulled a business card out of my bag, wrote "Call me =)" on it and, as I walked out of Starbucks, slipped it onto the table in front of him and said "hey". He smiled and I left.
I have NEVER done anything like this in my life!!! My friend Kyra was amazed that I could be so brave! I was too! And guess what? About 2 hours ago... he called! Left a voicemail message: "Hey this is Mike from Starbucks. You looked very beautiful today and I'm very excited that you gave me your number. My number is" and asked me to call him back!!! I will tomorrow when I'm feeling brave again.
See? Fear of rejection could have kept me from that experience. And who knows: he could be a jerk. But he could be wonderful! We'll see :)
So have you ever done anything like this? If you haven't, what stopped you?
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- From: JanetDart@xanga
- Name: Janet
- About Me: I've always loved Sex and the City and with recent ridiculous developments in the lives of me and my dear, darling friends I decided it was most definitely time to start blogging. I hope you enjoy laughing at our lives as much as my friends and I do.
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Comments (70)
I went up to a guy and asked him for a smoke, just to talk to him.
He was cute.
He didn't smoke.
Neither do I.
Aw, I hope this works out for you. I understand that rejection can be a scary thing, but sometimes overcoming our fears can get us ahead in life faster. May he not be a jerk!
Wow, that's awesome! I wish I had the guts to do something like that... but now that I think about it, what's stopping me? I am a very shy person.. I need to get over it and do it sometime!
I think it's a little weird to not say anything and just slip him your number. I would of at least tried to strike up a conversation to even see whether you guys would hit it off well or not. Before I was married, either I just walked up and started talking, or guys would ask for my number before I did.
But at least he called, that's cool. Hope it works out.
Yes, I often do because honestly, the worst thing he can say is he is not interested. Almost every time, I don't get a harsh response, although I have received some rejection before, but I believe rejection only helps you become stronger by creating a strong backbone necessary to handle situations like these.
Courage gets you what you want in life.
Still working on that rejection fear of mine. Best of luck! :)
@breaking_expectations@xanga - haha that's a good convo starter!
Congrats OP...I wish you the best of luck! Courage is a hard thing to find, but once you got it, you got it. I wish more girls had more courage...it would help us guys out so much more, to know that you're actually interested.
good on you!
wish i had guts like yours!
i too fear rejection, so i need to work on that one.
not so much now, since i already have a bf.
good luck with it all :) xx
lol it took me a LOT of that courage to finally admit to my bf now that i had feelings for him. there was a lot at stake; i mean, yeah, we'd been friends for years, but in my opinion - i was at a point where i don't think i could have stayed just friends with him anymore anyway. i had to tell him how i felt and if it wasnt returned, then i would have just stopped talking to him.
idk i mean i'm normally very shy and horrified about the idea of doing such a thing. but i HAD to! lol i would have gone insane if he had some other girlfriend!
wow gg ! ^^
AHH. i'm glad that worked out for you. i'm afraid of rejection due to my pride. i hate it getting killed. hahaha.
im thinking i should give this type of thing a go... got nothing more to lose.. hahaha
That's fantastic! I really think it's my 'feel good' story of the day. I don't think I could ever do that, but that's really amazing! I'm glad he called and hope he's a good guy :)
With respect, he did give you a hint that he was into you. Glad that it worked out for you.
@WhenHateIsTheOnlyOption@xanga - it's more about going to someone that you're not sure will like you or not
too bad there aren't more girls like you!
@WhenHateIsTheOnlyOption@xanga - Not really, no. He looked up and smiled at me once. Other than that he was pretty into his work.
@LauraG0929@xanga - Unfortunately, I never would have had the courage to start conversation lol It was easier to slip him my number and run!
@Rainy_Day33@xanga - go for it! Seriously, there's very little at stake in those situations.
Oh my gosh, that was so cute! Congrats ;) !
wow... I hope that works out for you!!
I'm too much of an old-fashioned type. No matter how cute the guy is, my mindset is always "Well, if you like me, you're going to make the first move."
Good luck!!!!!! =D Keep us posted ok?
Rejection sucks-the worst is when you get rejected several times-it gets harder to get back up and try again. But I have done stuff like this before, even though it was back in high school.
I would never do that, nor would I ever call a girl back who did it to me. I was taught not to talk to strangers heh.
@WhenHateIsTheOnlyOption@xanga - What hint? Smiling at her? I do that to everyone who looks at me doesn't mean anything. It's just common courtesy that when someone is looking at you you respond with a gentle expression as to not cause trouble.
I did do that once. It was exhilarating! Good thing to do, at least once in your life. ;)