I was taking a nap this afternoon, and I had a cheating dream. My ex-boyfriend was apparently in my dorm room alone with me because I had been seduced by a sexy message he sent me. I had taken off my shirt before I realized that my dorm's door was made of glass, and that my current boyfriend was sitting in the room right in front of mine (note: my residence hall does not actually have glass doors). I hurriedly covered my chest and turned away, but not before his suspicion was aroused. He came into my room (some very crazy, nonsensical things now happen, but I will omit them) and started asking me questions.
"Why are you hanging out with your ex?"
"Why was your shirt off?"
I wanted to disappear right there instead of having to face him, I felt more shame than I've ever felt in my life, and it was hard struggling with the idea that my boyfriend might leave me for cheating.
I woke up feeling horrible even after I realized it was a dream. I love being completely honest and telling my boyfriends everything in relationships, but I know this is something I'm not planning on telling him because it would make him possibly feel bad and insecure for no valid reason. I haven't even talked to my ex in months, and the thought of him disgusts me!
My belief is that you shouldn't read too much into dreams unless they're reoccurring and frequent, but what do you think? Should you or your SO be worried about adulterous dreams?
Comments (51)
Well, you don't have any control over what you dream. So, I don't think it's a big deal. Just laugh it off.
Your gut is right. It's only been one dream. If it reoccurs, maybe you should do something about it. Don't stress about it too much.
I think everyone has dreams like that every now and then. I'd probably get pissed if my hubby had sex dreams about other girls...until I remembered that I've had them too and there's really nothing we can do about it. =)
i have had a couple dreams where i'm cheating on him, but they usually don't make any sense, or they're just made up guys that i have never seen in real life before. and about halfway through i'll be like ... wait .... i'm dating (my bf) now ... where is he! oh my god, what have i done! usually when i start to deeply ponder the implications of my dream actions within my dream, i am about to wake up. lol
yeah i dont think its a big deal. i've had WAY more dirty ones WITH him...
Some pretty crazy stuff can happen in your head when you're asleep. I agree that if there's no reoccurring theme, then you shouldn't give it too much weight. When something like that happens to me, it does make me take another look at how I feel about something... in this case, I'd evaluate how I really feel about this ex, and maybe just chalk it up to me being a tiny bit still attracted to him and feeling guilty about it because you're with someone new now. In which case, I'd not worry about it. There was something there, and now it's gone, and as long as you're faithful to your new boy then there's nothing to feel guilty about in admitting (at least to yourself) that you still think he's a looker.
Not saying this is the case for you, but I've had a similar dream and that's how I dealt with it. :)
Wow, my friend just told me she had a similar dream recently. o_o" What are the odds? Hehheh. It shouldn't be anything serious though. Perhaps it's just a really BAD dream you had.
It's a dream. Dreams don't mean anything. They're basically just random visual images that your mind creates in order to form memories. I've had sex dreams and I'm asexual for Christ's sakes. Again, dreams don't mean anything.
Something like this happened to me not too long ago! I was dreaming about my boyfriend and my friend was in my dream. And they were going out! I was the ex in the story and when I woke up it completly freaked the life out of me! I told my friend about it and she doesn't like the idea of it either. She said it was a nightmare and I think it was too. But then I have a feeling the dream might come back to me :/
I know that what you dreamt was a dream, but sometimes dreams can come true. The other day there was a seating plan in my business class and I was in the EXACT same seat as I was in my dream! De Ja Vu much! :P
If you feel awful about it, then that's enough to tell that you are not intentionally cheating, not even in your dreams, because you covered yourself up.
I just remembered an ex had told me once (while we were together) when she had a dream about her being with another guy, and then I walked in and she was with both of us. While in real life I would never let that happen or tolerate it. I figured it was just a dream, her mind still had memories or emotions about the other guy whether she'd actually act them out in real life or not. But it's just a dream, so no reason to mention it. If you have the same dream every night for a couple weeks then maybe you should think about things.
Well, I'm a psychic and I've had to live some of my lover's dreams replaying in my mind and it puts a whole new spin on is it okay to "look." Psychology says fantasies are normal, and I like to agree with that. Let him have his space, and I remind myself repeatedly that he needs that space. A dream he had once caused me to break it off with him for a long time and never call at one point in our lives. It broke my heart, but he's a young man. In the dream the girl he was dating was in a white dress and sleeping in his bed with the sun coming through the window. He was watching the light play on her face and mesmerized by her innocence. I wished to be that girl so bad. He hadn't made love to the girl in the dream, if he had, maybe, just maybe, it would have been easier to forgive. I had a dream of him in a threesome with two girls that didn't hurt nearly as much. But in this dream I felt his overwhelming Love of this girl and his absolute devotion to her- reverence for her life. That broke my heart. It was as if looking at her was his raison d'etre. I knew I had to let him go. He Loved her and I Loved him.
I've dreamt that he cheated.
I've dreamt he got mad because I wouldnt "put out" [HE wants to wait till marriage]
I've dreamt he gave me an STD [He doesn't even have one.]
I've dreamt he broke up with me [He wants to marry me.]
I've dreamt that I've cheated on him [with his brother whom Ive never met.]
The point? It doesn't mean anything, thankfully!
But these are just dreams, that are the TOTAL opposite of what we have in our waking life. We're very much in love, never even had a rough patch in our relationship, no arguments, no insecurities, and no suspicions. Unless it's reoccuring, let it go. I know the feeling though.. when you wake up feeling horrible because it feels real. This feeling goes away, trust me.
lol it's just a dream. don't worry about them. i've had dreams where people i care about [or myself] died. and i've gotten people i know turning psycho. lol. soooo dont worry too much
Well you feel guilt and shame, so that's a great sign of your feelings for your SO. I've had it to where the other person just dismissed it as nothing and didn't feel much except anger towards the person. But she actually wanted to be with him, so....it all depends on the individual. I personally do think dreams mean something (I know going against the flow), just like if someone is constantly worried about an event coming up then they perhaps will have a nightmare or dream about it. You are not stating that you have been thinking of your ex or anything so perhaps yours is just a nightmare. But yes I agree with most of the other commenters, if it recurs then perhaps you should take a deeper look into yourself and figure out what's going on. As for whether or not to tell your boyfriend, that's up to you. If you start hiding one thing to save yourself from trouble I'm just afraid what other things might start falling into that category you know? Obviously your own moral boundaries will keep that in check but I've dealt with an ex who did not keep it in check and hid more and more things.
People like to say "Dreams don't mean anything", even though they do. But dreams very rarely mean exactly what they portray. What matters is what you do in real life, and since it sounds very unlikely that you WILL sleep with your ex, it doesn't mean anything. Perhaps your subconscious is simply expressing sexual dissatisfaction, or a longing for more exotic intercourse.
I dreamed that I cheated on my BF with a random guy (that I've never seen in my life). The interesting thing is that I cheated intentionally to make my boyfriend upset, but then I felt guilty immediately.
I had the dream again where I was having sex with someone else and then when I was done I remembered that I was in a relationship. So I basically forgot all about my boyfriend! I felt so guilty!
I started freaking out about the re-occurring dream but I told my boyfriend and he laughed. He trusts me.
I had a friend interpret the dream for me. It meant that I was feeling insecure about my relationship. I was feeling unattractive and I really wasn't sure if I really did want to be with my BF. Those dreams helped re-affirm that I want to be with my BF.
Think about if there is anything that is making you feel insecure about your relationship....
@salvatruca_stalking_havok13@xanga - @presque_la@xanga - @LauraG0929@xanga - @chelseanataliex@xanga -
there are three major schools of thought concerning dream analysis: freudian "wish fufillment", activation-synthesis and consolidation.
freud's theories suggest that you have an unresolved conflict lying dormant in your unconscious, repressed yet articulating itself through your dreams. This could indicate that you are not happy with your current boyfriend, have considered leaving him, but would feel dejected to be dumped BY your SO. Freud might state that you had your shirt off perhaps because your sex drive is not being satiated by your current partner, and you desire to rekindle a fire with your ex. In my own opinion, I think this symbol perhaps underscores a subconscious or unconscious fear of the negative stigma attached to society's view of womenkind's sexuality and their frequent role as unfaithful temptresses, as exemplified by your boyfriend's interrogation.
moreover, the activation-synthesis theory substantiates the claim that dreams mean nothing. It states that dreams are caused by random firing of neurons in the brain. This random firing sends signals to the body's motor systems (the parts of your brain that controls movement), but because your body is temporily paralysized while you dream during REM sleep, the brain is faced with a paradox. Your brain creates a narrative by drawing on past memories in an attempt to make sense of what it has experienced. Your dream could be a conglomerate memories of your ex + a movie where the main character is unfaithful + a shameful experience strung together hapahazardly while your brain tries to make sense of them, derriving this puzzling narrative.
Still, there is the consolidation dream analysis theory. Researchers have found that during REM your brain performs a variety of functions, including consolidating memories. You seem to have been caught off guard by this dream, but this theory suggests that you were thinking about this dilemma sometime before you went to sleep.
My suggestion to you is to get more sleep!!! If you're taking a nap in the afternoon and dremt, it is most likely that you experienced REM sleep, where most dreams occur, indicating you either slept longer than 90 minutes or you are sleep deprived and entered REM sleep early.
Sleep affects your mood, appetite and general temperment. It might not keep you from having these types of dreams, but you'll be happier and healthier and in the best disposition to sort out any discrepancies you might be having with your significant other.
All the best,
Caitlin
If I were you I wouldn't read too much into it at the moment unless it becomes reoccuring. Also sometimes people think their dream is about something when it could have a totally different meaning altogether.
maybe your dream is supposed to show you how much you care about him and how loyal you are!
@backporchpoet1@xanga - Well, I've never subscribed to the Freudian belief of dreams being a window into the unconscious. I lean more towards believing in biopsychological approaches like the others you explained. It's why I believe that dreams don't have any meaning.
You have an Oedipus complex.
-Freud
Yeah, i agree with most people. I've had a couple of dreams where I cheated but even in the dream I felt horrible and knew I was doing something wrong. It was with someone I would never cheat on my boyfriend with, just my brain doing random things.
dreams dont mean exactly what they are. pay attention to them. try zolar...freud is an idiot
I've had cheating dreams, too and so have my friends. In every cheating dream I've had, I always remember thinking "uh oh ... I have a boyfriend"
My friend looked it up and told me that it's because you're feeling guilty about something that's going on in life. Not sure, but they're just dreams.
I dun think so. its just a dream. you dun control what you dream. lolz