Friday, 20 November 2009
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FML Friday!
Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".Here are our favorite five submissions from F*** My Life this week:
Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML
Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML
Happy Friday!
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Comments (32)
The last one - OUCH. :(
"Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML"
Why is that bad?
I'd love to be surprised with my favorite candy on my anniversary -it's the little things that count, I mean, at least he remembers, right? I think it would be super cute!
@imTHEmeowMIXcat@xanga - I think your girlfriend stock just went up
@EarthsAzureLight@xanga -
I like these. Not to happen to me, of course :P
How embarrassing would it be to have your dog bring your used condom to your mom!! LMFAO!
@imTHEmeowMIXcat@xanga - I'm wondering if she didn't like Twizzlers to begin with. XD
Ouch last one is really bad. :( Awwww
@BlehhItsTu@xanga - Haha, true! I hadn't considered that...ok that one is pretty funny if that was the case!
Oh no, that last one would be horrible! Poor girl!
@imTHEmeowMIXcat@xanga - me and my friend said the same exact thing lol
@imTHEmeowMIXcat@xanga - I was curious about the Twizzlers one, so I researched it.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=twizzler
The first definition brings sense to the FML submission. I regret looking that up.
The kitty one is dreadful. :(
The Twizzlers one... boys are clueless sometimes! Haha But it's not a big deal, she needs to get over it.
@ramblingsthatrhyme@xanga - D: !! -I think I could have gone the rest of my life happily without knowing that!
@vegaskandigirl@xanga - ^_~
@imTHEmeowMIXcat@xanga - I agree thouroughly. I am very much so scarred now. I don't know much sexual lingo...I'm the "innocent one" in my group of friends.
Something similar to the condom/dog thing happened to me. I had just about a bowl of weed, and I decided to put it under my bed for safe keeping. The next day after school my dad and I were sitting in the office. He was working and I was doing homework. And my cat drags out my little sack of weed and drops it right in the middle of the floor. My dad's back was turned, but I knew I couldn't get up without him turning around. So after about 10 mins I decided to brave it, and as I got up to pick it up, I noticed it was gone... and then my dad turns around and it's in his hand. Baha. That sucked. But he thought it was so funny that I didn't even get in trouble.
Oh goodness... That last one is just terrible. :(
FML's can be funny, but I definitely like GMH wayyyy more :)
@imTHEmeowMIXcat@xanga - i guess it's not the ideal anniversary gift, but being all pissy about it is just rude.
@soyeahthatswhathappened@xanga - agreed.
@imTHEmeowMIXcat@xanga - Agreed that was my thought exactly.
@ramblingsthatrhyme@xanga - No such thing as innocent, just less corrupted heh.
I still think the majority of FML's are fake, usually they just seem too random to be real. These ones don't seem that unbelievable though. Cept how do you crash into someone's mailbox? heh.
@JusticeCho@xanga -
Oh and it does seem like a lot of FML's are fake. It helps me enjoy them a bit more though, so I dont feel as guilty knowing that I am laughing at someone else misfortune, just a funny made up story.
and the last one is really bad :(
hahaha woww. that sucks.
oh the last one was brutal!