I'm considering studying abroad next fall. Studying abroad is something I've always wanted to do, because I feel like if I don't do it now (now as in, while I'm in college), I'll never get such an awesome opportunity to travel.
However, I've talked to people who have been there done that, and they've all pretty much said that studying abroad does bad things to good relationships. I can think of all the reasons why this might be: you're away from your SO for so long, studying abroad changes both the person studying abroad and the person left behind, you're becoming super close with other people, and more, I'm sure.
I just can't decide what to do. Traveling is something I've always wanted to, and this is the perfect way to do it, but at the same time, the last thing I want to do is damage the relationship I have with my boyfriend. He's my best friend and my boyfriend all in one, and I can't imagine my life without him.
Nick and I have talked about it a little bit, and while he's really supportive and is encouraging me to follow my dream, he is upset at the idea of being without me for a semester. Going abroad with him isn't really an option, because he has no desire to go where I'm planning on going, amongst other reasons.
Thoughts?
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Comments (53)
I'm currently studying abroad right now and my boyfriend and I just broke up two days ago. But he was having problems with the relationship before I left and wasn't that put out about my leaving. A bunch of girls in my flat are in great relationships and they are thriving. As long as you are both equally committed, then I would definitely follow your dream. It'll be tough, but if it's worth it, it'll stay good. =]
it's doable. The real question is: do you want to?
If your relationship is really strong it could survive. It's just another challenge that you'll have to face that could bring you even closer together in the end. If you don't follow your dreams now, you'll regret it.
It's possible. It's like any other long distance relationship like if a person is in the military or  whatnot.
I think if you two have that connection and a really strong bond between you two, then nothing will stop you guys, even if you two are far apart from each other.
My boyfriend told me that I should travel the world during our gap year and i really like the idea, but we both have different reasons and goals of what we want to do. However we plan to meet up during our gap year. Although, for me, I will have to wait two more years until I make a decision. I hopw you two can sort things out :).
Going to have to agree.
Please don't let your fears of being apart stop you from studying abroad. It is doable, and if your relationship is as strong and you say it is, it will last. A semester is roughly three to four months, which is a long time, there's no disputing that. I have been apart from my boyfriend before for 4 and 1/2 months straight, and it wasn't easy. You sort of "get used" to it, in that as time passes, it doesn't necessarily feel like months and months, but rather that you've just been apart for awhile. You will miss eachother, but the great thing about studying abroad is that you have means of communication that I never had with my boyfriend. You can skype and actually see each other (Skype is wonderful, haha!), you can e-mail, you can write letters, you can call on the phone from time to time. If you decided to definitely do it, and he could save up the money, there's even the chance that sometime, perhaps in the middle of the semester, he could take a week or so and come visit you. It is doable, and I would encourage you greatly to take the opportunity to study abroad while you are in school so that you can take advantage of financial aid and scholarships. It is the chance of a lifetime, and such an awesome experience. There's almost a sense of accomplishment when you come back from something like that, like if you can make it through that, then you can make it through almost anything. I think your relationship would be just fine, if not stronger, especially if it's as strong as you say. The decision is, obviously, up to you, but in my personal opinion, you should study abroad. My boyfriend will be gone from December to June, and I am planning to study abroad in July, so the thought of being apart from him that long hurts me, but I can't pass up the opportunities that I have here at college.
Good luck with your decision!!
I've known more relationships to stay intact than fall apart when people have gone abroad.
This is something I've been considering. Thanks for posting!
People can say this and that but at the end, it's your relationship. If you want to make it work, it will work despite the distance or not.
My husband was deployed for a little over six months. It sucked but we worked through it. It actually made us stronger...in my opinion! (And hey...at least with study abroad you can rest safe knowing that neither of you is getting shot at.....not so much with deployments!) :P
It's doable/workable/probable.....if you want the relationship to work and put the effort into it...it will!!
You need to do wats best for you. You may never get this chance again. Boyfriends are a dime a dozen. If you are BOTH confident in your relationship, then nothing should go wrong. GOOD LUCK!
Studying abroad is one of a few things that I wish I had done. I didn't seize that opportunity because of my parents and I now regret it deeply. If it's something that you really want to do then go for it. If you guys have a strong connection then you'll be fine without each other for a few months. I'm currently in an LDR myself and only get to see my SO every 3.5 months. Good luck!
I think if your relationship can survive your semester of study abroad, you will know that you and your boyfriend are fully committed to each other. Also, you know your relationship is strong enough to survive a little long distance. For instance, my boyfriend and I are long distance and go almost a semester without seeing each other and we've been doing well.
i had a friend who was in a very long-term relationship when she went abroad. i think they'd been together for something like 4, almost 5 years. she met a guy in england, broke it off with her american boy, and when she finished her degree state-side she moved back to england and the new couple are now engaged.
if you're meant to be with your boyfriend, it will find some way to work out.
I think it's totally doable. Just don't stop talking to him for too many days straight. That's painful.
As long as the two of you are still communicating on a regular basis or anything that requires both of you to stop and just talk, things will be fine. It's not the same thing as being with each other and not even having to speak about things but you can still get that emotional bond and that's really good. :)
>< can he come with you?
I think you should follow your dream because if you don't, you might regret it someday. If he's supportive then your relationship with him should be fine.
it's just one semester?
You said: he's your bestfriend and you can't live without him.
If you believe so strongly in your relationship...if you BOTH believe that "it will suck, but it's not gonig to change 'us' ", then go for it.
" I can think of all the reasons why this might be: you're away from your SO for so long, studying abroad changes both the person studying abroad and the person left behind, you're becoming super close with other people, and more, I'm sure. " <-- This is an excuse. Whoever thinks these are reasons...well they aren't. Everyone is always constantly changing...so....being away doesn't justify that. Unless you mean away from each others like 'life' on whats going on...but...theres so many ways to keep that. (Skype,calls...ect)...
Do what you feel is right. What your confident and feel secure in.....
Also, If you don't want it to hit hard when you dont get to talk to him...start now (if you decide to go)...contact each other less (can be day or time wize...I don't mean don't communicate, comm. is crucial when you don't see/talk alot...)
It really depends on your personality and you. Besides you are really young. I've been studying abroad for four years (This is my fourth year). I left home when I was 17 and had the perfect boyfriend and we thought we were going to get married someday. But I had to leave and I chose my education over him. It was hard but one of the best damn decision ever. You can give me a million dollars but nothing can ever compare to the experiences I've gained.
Studying abroad lets you gain perspective and perception you never saw or thought before. Trust me, it is worth it. If you and your SO are meant to be, you guys will be together once again. Let yourself grow as individuals because if he really loves you, he will wait for you.
As for now, I'm in one of the most awesome relationship. Not with him but the boy next door. Wouldn't have met him if I decided not to pursue my study abroad dreams, would I?
Hope this helps! :) Good luck!
The most important thing inyour life is to live for yourself, and if a once-in-a-lifetime chance arises, then take it. A long-distance relationship for a semester isn't so bad. If you call frequently (often international phone cards aren't too bad) or, even better, Skype call and video-chat with each other, I'm sure you'll be fine.
If you have any doubts as to your relationship while you're away, your trust in yourself and your SO is low.
My boyfriend and I are going to study abroad together. We're going in the same direction-Japan. I want to open up a tea shop or find a solid job there, and he wants to train in a dojo or open one for Kung Fu. So we're going to major in the language and utilize it to get further in life, while living together and building our relationship through these things.
This is a good test for both of you coz distance will not ruin any relationship when true love exist.
You will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't go. And also, no offense, but it's highly unlikely you'll stay with your guy even if you don't go. You might, but if you break up anyway AND missed out on the chance to travel abroad ... that sucks. Besides, I studied in Austria for awhile and it was one of the best experiences of my life! Go explore and be adventurous!
I'm currently studying abroad and I have to tell you, it's the most amazing experience ever... and I know I will look back on my life and this period is probably what I will cherish most.
I don't think you should be afraid of study abroad because of your boyfriend. What other people say and have told you, it's their experience. Your boyfriend and you have a different relationship, and a different past, present, future. It will be difficult being away from the one you love, but if anything it could show you how much you trust one another in the end, ya? :)
Don't let life opportunities slip through your fingers! Go for it! :)