So, I have been really confused lately. Ever since I have broken up with my boyfriend, Arthur. Things are going fine. Kinda. So much drama with him and my mother, which I really do not want to get into. I feel so bad, because I have so many crushes right after my break up. For me. I rarely pursue guys, but I like them a lot. I have a huge crush on two guys that I see around campus... That's not the issue though.
There is this girl, Gabry.
I
think I may have a crush on her but I am not sure. She's studying Japanese culture, and really - who doesn't enjoy Japanese culture? She is smart and has been around the world. She likes horses, figure skating, learning new languages, and we have the same beliefs - which I do too. We work at the same place and have a class together. I really like her, but I am always shy around her. I don't want to do anything sexual with her, but I really, really like her. It is something about her. She is extremely beautiful, and has a twin sister. I would die to have a connection with someone else like twins do. Maybe I just wish I was her, to have a loving family with money and to be happy all the time. She's one of those people that are always happy. I really like that; I tend to be gloomy.
What is it? A crush? It definitely isn't a lust. I'm quite confused. What should I do with these feelings?
True
Comments (52)
I don't really think it sounds like a crush....since you broke up with your boyfriend you are probably longing to have that really close connection with someone and you've hit it off with this girl. My best friend (former...long story) was like this for me. I went through a super messy break-up with this guy and then she was just there...and our connection was INSTANT. I always thought she was pretty and I had always admired her...but it was different than how I felt having a crush.
I think you can really like someone alot, love them in fact, especially when they are there after a tough situation...but it's not the same as when you like/love someone from a relationship standpoint.
As far as what to do...just get to know her! Maybe her happiness will help you cheer up or you'll gain a new friend. :)
Does that make ANY sense? lol.
Seems like you're confusing admiration with a crush hun. If you know it's not sexual and you know it's not feelings of lust...it's just plain old admiration and envy. Perfectly normal.
@Titanic_Spaz@xanga - I agree with what you have said. If you liked her in a relationship or sexual way, then it would be a "crush".
Yeah, this doesn't really sound like a crush to me. It seems as though you just enjoy her company and like the fact that she's always happy. =]
This isn't a crush. Crushing is like a precursor to love. What you have is platonic admiration.
@HippocreneQueen@xanga - I agree
As a completely hetero female, I can't say I would know what it feels like to have a crush on a woman -- but I imagine it would be much the same as a crush on a man. What you have described here doesn't sound like a "crush" to me -- it just sounds like a deep admiration that you have for an interesting and amazing friend.
@dmh1278@xanga - Sorry, Spaz. I answered before I read any comments. Now I feel like I plagiarized "admiration". hah.
Sounds like a girl-crush! I usually have one a year...and the girl that I girl crush on is usually someone I just really want to hang out with all the time.
Haha the same thing happened to me too, I was beginning to wonder if I was bisexual.
I don't think crushes always have to stem from sexual desire. For me they don't... They can start as any kind of adoration and build from there. Point being, they generally do end up with some sort of physical attraction if it all becomes intense enough, but I don't think it always has to be sexual.
I dunno. For me, I have different kinds of crushes--physical, mental, spiritual, etc, and combinations--and not all of them end in me wanting to get into the person's pants. The thing that makes them a crush however is that I do intensely care for the person and do want a romantic-based relationship of some kind, just not necessarily very sexual.
Really, I think you should figure out exactly how you feel about her. Don't make yourself put labels on things, but figure out what you want with her, and that will tell you whether it's a crush or not. Basically, just reflect a lot, and if you trust yourself, you'll get it.
Best of luck. <3.
def sounds like a girl crush. like an idolization/admiration.
my girl crushes are usually just me being jealous of them. so this sounds like that.
Yeah, this sounds more like a Girlcrush. Don't get too bent out of shape with it.
to me, it sounds like admiration, so be her friend and her happyness could rub off on you :)
Yeah... gonna have to go with girl-crush.
I don't think you have a crush on her, but it's more like you admire her. As you think she's lucky to have a loving family (blah blah blah). But that could sometimes be jealousy, but then again you like her as a person, which isn't jealously. You two probably do have that connection but it's not fully developed yet. It's more like you admire her than have a crush on her.
Sounds like she's just a girl that you platonically admire. I think I lot of my girl friends are beautiful and fun, that doesn't mean that I have crushes on them. Here's the deal, if you don't want to screw her or get her naked you're preobably just a straight girl who's bored. Sounds like you're trying to talk yourself into something that isn't even there.
u might just be looking for some attention
Stop trying to be someone else. You look at her and want to be her so you "crush on her." Maybe this girl has been through that a lot, and knows exactly what you are about. It might seem innocent to you, and it is if you don't pressure her for her time and attention. But imagine just being a regular ol' girl like you, at least to herself, she fears, hurts, admires others also, wishes to have someone elses life. Hey, maybe she even hopes to have a family life half as normal as yours, and you're just wishing to have her way about her. You never know whats going on behind closed doors. You need to recognize what you have and be grateful. If you admire this girl and you hang out with her because she is fun to be with and you enjoy her company than you're innocent. We all hang out with and want to be friends with people we want to "rub off" on us to some extent. But if you hang out with this girl because it makes you feel so "awesomely stellar" or "high" to be around her and get her attention then you probably don't know her at all. You probably just want to be her. This type of girl has a tough life socially believe it or not. Just remember she's a human being with needs like everyone else. You aren't putting her on a pedestool, you are trying to steal her light, otherwise.
It just sounds like you're looking for the twinlike connection, as you said before.
I call them "new people crushes"
there's nothing sexual about it, but you just have the strongest urge to be around that person.. spend time with them.. talk to them.. more importantly listen to them..
I call them "new people crushes" because it usually happens to me with people I have recently met or recently gotten closer to. I'm also not attracted to girls, but I get these "new people crushes" on girls, too.
@Ni_Shi_Wo_De@xanga - your screenname is so cute, if it says what I think it does! :D
you need to come out of the closet and just go for it. i along with every other male on this earth fully support you 100%
Sounds like you just want to be friends. I get like that when I meet awesome people. I start crushing on them because I desire their friendship