I don't know if it's just me, but do any of you have that one friend where every time you introduce her to one of your guy friends, she always winds up hooking up with them? It's happened about 95% of the occasions when I introduce her to my other guy friends I just can't stand it anymore.
Some of these guys are just my friends and will only stay platonic, but I've also introduced her to people I have wanted to go out with. I think she has it in her mind that just because some of these guys will only stay just friends with me/don't want me like that, that it's okay for her to hook up with them. I didn't introduce these guys to her so she could hook up with all of them. I had it in my mind that maybe we could all hang out as platonic friends.
I get that sometimes these guys may flirt with her first, but does she really have to actually go through with anything? It's like when I get a boyfriend, I don't even know if I want to introduce her to him. Only if the dude is geeky and dorky, she won't go after them. It's so annoying. So I can't like a built guy, eventually go out with him, then introduce them because I fear they'll hook up behind my back because she'll at least make out with him. I don't think I'll ever introduce her to the guy I like in my class (he's really built since he was a football player and all)...referring to my post about me deciding whether or not to get with my classmate before he leaves for another college.
It's happened with an ex. Even though my ex and I went out almost 9 years ago, we randomly met up about 2 years ago and started being friends again...only to have them make out with each other behind my back when I introduced them...I mean, really? I know we're exes and I never even liked him that much, but it still kind of pissed me off considering her track record with meeting my other guy friends and doing the SAME thing to almost all of them.
The thing is she has no problem meeting guys all on her own so I don't get why she has to even pursue anything as even more than friends with any of MY guy friends for that matter. This always frustrates me.
How do you deal with a friend like that? Should I even be mad/annoyed with this? Would you stop being friends with the person? I've even talked to her about it before and I don't think it has changed and never will. It sucks because I would like a potential SO and I to hang out with my best friends. One of my friends said I should introduce a guy I really like to her just to test him to see if he would do anything with her. If he doesn't do anything with my friend, then I could trust him...but I don't want to have to go through that drama anymore just to find out if he's a good guy or not. I've had to deal with it plenty in the past.
Recommend
Comments (71)
if you can't trust her how is she a friend??? i had a "friend" like that in high school and when i found out her true colors i cut her out of my life completely. you don't need girls like that as friends.
YOU GET RID OF A FRIEND LIKE THIS!!
Sorry. I feel really strongly about this. Yes, you should be annoyed, and cut her out of your life! She will do this your entire life, and will attempt to tempt the man you marry as well. It's a jealousy syndrome. She wants to be you. She will probably use and twist things you say to get to the ones you let get close. She is not to be trusted! She will do this to show you that she is just as good as you and will probably find underhanded ways to attack you if anyone resists her because of you. She is no good.
She is not your friend, she is a wolf in sheep's clothing.
And don't tempt your man that way. Don't put your significant other in a position of temptation, it's just not wise, even if he didn't give in.
This is what I call the:
The one lonely bitch in the bedroom syndrome. Looking for trouble where there are none, and if there is, taking advantage of them - and usually the solutions are simple, neat, and wrong.
She may be jealous of you, and figures getting with your guy friends is a way to prove she's better than you.
I'd nix her. Or, if you don't feel you can, refrain from introducing her to any of your male friends. If she asks why, be honest... and so she can decide to stay or leave your friendship.
o_o
Just don't hang out with her... either that or find better guys as they're willing to jump into bed with the next available slut. Why would you even put up with someone like that for so long? =_=
@snapeful@xanga - I'm guessing because there's that drive and desire to see it fail, like... to find a guy whom isn't blind to her advances or her seduction tactics, and then to have that guy notice her instead of her player friend, you know? Because she wants to defeat her manipulative friend and prove that she can't get EVERY single guy.
As long as I don't fancy her myself, I don't care.
i had a friend like that and i dropped her. ive known her since 4th grade. best decision ive ever made.
@Coffee_Kaioken@xanga - how unnecessarily complicated :(
fortunately, my friends are all prudes :] well, mostly. but high school isn't over yet..
@snapeful@xanga - A male equivalent would be like wanting to see an arrogant PUA who thinks he can seduce any girl/woman he wants, try to get with your best female friend, fail, and then that female friend ends up choosing you, y'know? Even though what may actually happen is he even gets to her and it's frustrating.
That's what it's like on her end, I'm assuming.
@Coffee_Kaioken@xanga - ohhhhhhh okay. i see. that makes sense then, but it sucks to put yourself thorugh it. blargh. good luck to the op, then...
Have you talked to her about it?
If you aren't dating any of these guy friends, how is it your business who your friends screw?
@MistressAislin@xanga - i definitely don't want to introduce them because i know that he's her type. she likes guys with muscles, etc. and he definitely fits her type. it just sucks i guess, that i can't really trust her.
@xsimplepleasuresx@xanga - she cycles through my guy friends like they are clothes, totally unnecessary drama. she knows they won't ever mean anything more to her than a make-out session, hence why she goes through most of my guy friends, so why make hanging out weird and secretive? leave it platonic as it should be. it is my f'ing business because i f'ing introduced them. and they are MY guy friends. lmao, like you wouldn't be pissed if you had one of your friends go through all your guy friends hooking up with all of them behind your back whether or not they are just platonic friends to you.
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - yeah i tried talking to her about it, but it still happened anyway =/. i wish i could cut her out completely, but she's been a family friend since we were three-years-old and our parents are friends with each other. i don't know how they would feel if we weren't friends anymore just because over guy drama. i'm trying to have the mindset that it isn't worth it because we don't even end up with any of these guys, but it does get irritating. i mean i'm fine with my friend for the most part if it doesn't have to do with guys, so that's another reason why i'm kind of torn on whether or not to drop her.
i kind of caved and told her about my new crush, the guy in class; i was really excited that i hit it off really well with him i couldn't keep it in. i didn't want to tell her because i fear they'll meet and it will happen again. oh she had the nerve to "joke" that me and that guy won't ever happen because she'll meet him somehow. this town is really small and i hope to God they won't meet at all or at a bar or anywhere.
@The OP - First off, I'm a guy, so if some friend wants to go through all of my guy friends and hook up with all of them I don't really care, I don't want or need to know what they do. Same goes for my female friends, if they are friends, I'm not interested in them. Hell, I would probably encourage them if they wanted to hook-up. But I suppose that just means I don't think I own my friends, think my friends actions require my approval, and that I dislike drama addicts.
@xsimplepleasuresx@xanga - regardless, it is still unnecessary as she can meet guys on her own will and not through me...therefore shouldn't even be hooking up with my guy friends just because she thinks she can. you say you don't care, but deep down, i know you'd be at least a little bit annoyed.
I had a friend like that..we would go out and do stuff and we'd always meet people. If there was a guy I was feelin' I'd say hey I'm into him and I wanna see what he's like do you think you could not go after him? By the end of the night she was either making out with him or would have him hooked to where he was coming to me asking her number and if he had a chance. I'm not friend with her anymore. Life has much less drama in it now.
@The OP - Nope, I've had friends that have done that pretty regularly before (college is full of these situations), it is generally a topic of humor more than anything, generally involving jokes about placing bets, practical jokes played, or jokes of me charging for pimping services. To each their own I guess.
@xsimplepleasuresx@xanga - Well since you're a guy, you wouldn't care if a girl has already hooked up with so and so if you wanted to be so and so.
I've dated guys and met guy friends before through them. And they didn't care at all that I even dated their guy friends because they are guys and tried to get with me anyway even though I dated their friend.
Girls kind of care more about who gets first dibs whatnot. I don't like sloppy seconds. So of course it makes sense you wouldn't care. If you were a girl, you definitely would have cared more. This is speaking from experience, so...
@The OP - Forgot to add, the only type of girls who don't care who already got with who are like the people I'm talking about right now
@The OP - You call THAT a friend? She should be egging you on and encouraging you instead of putting you down because she's easily the better choice. What kind of friend is that?
@walking_a_long_lonely_road@xanga - There is less drama for me now, too, because she's moved away, but whenever she comes home I feel like it starts back up again.
The part I don't get is when people make up rumors about me...there have been lowlife guys who made up rumors saying they've gotten with me, just because I would never get with them because they are lowlifes. And she defends me on those rumors since we talk about everything.
but then...she like does this other guy stuff to me I just don't know what to think about her anymore.
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - I definitely don't feel it is a true friend. She even thinks I'm lying when I told her how much in common I had with a guy like that. She encouraged me with my last crush but then when I told her how popular this guy is/was, she sarcastically jokes and says how I wouldn't have a chance. I hope to prove her wrong.
@The OP - Oh honey, just because she's been in your life for a long time, does NOT make her a friend. A friend is characterized by their actions and affection toward you. From what I see, she has no consideration of your feelings. Is that someone you find worthy of keeping in your life just because that's the way it's always been?