How often does it happen?
A friend says they'll meet you at a party and they never do.
A person your seeing says they'll meet you at a sporting event but they don't show.
The situations are endless.
How often does it happen? How do you react?
Yeah, in case you were wondering, I was sort of stood up this weekend. A guy I'm interested in said he might go to a play that's going on, and I made the effort to go in case he did. He didn't so I can't say he stood me up because he never said he was going. That same night was the one night for the next three weeks that I was going to have any free time, so I was totally fine being stood up by him so I could see my really good friends. They never replied to my texts, I couldn't get into the dorm, and they were in their rooms so I couldn't knock on their windows. I felt like they didn't want to hang out with me even though I was feeling desperate for their attention.
I then did something very very stupid. I asked two other guys what they were doing, one of whom is interested in me, the other I like to think he is interested in me as well. They both invited me over to their places, and then I had to choose, an almost guaranteed makeout with a guy I don't really like, or just hanging out with a friend.
I had to stop myself and think "ok, I have just been stood up by an amazing guy, and my best friends. How am I reacting to that? I'm angry, frustrated, worried, and have sudden low-self esteem." I had a deep feeling that if I went to the first guys dorm, I would end up doing something I would regret. The second guy is really shy, so even if he does like me, nothing would happen and I can just have a relaxing evening. So that's what I did.
I think I'm lucky for not doing something outright stupid last night because I was hurt, but I was curious to know what everyone else thought. What would you do if you were stood up?
Recommend
Comments (36)
I'm so glad you made the right decision. If there's any doubt or hesitancy about going to see someone, that's probably a good sign that they're not safe to be around. And about being stood up, I hate that feeling and it's not something I want to relive. I usually cut those people out of my life, especially if there's nothing about them that I particularly enjoy enough to make the effort to give them a second chance.
I would feel a mixture of emotions. Probably a lot of anger. Embarrassment. Confusion. Anxiety. This would all come out as a bitch-fit if the person tried to explain him / herself to me. If the excuse was legit, like I had to rush to the hospital because so-and-so blah blah, and there was no service, blah blah, I would not be perfectly FINE, but not BITTER and definitely understanding. Otherwise, hell would come loose. Because I'm like that.
when I am stood up, especially by a guy, I don't say anything. I don't bother him about it or ask him about it. Instead, I ignore him or give him the cold shoulder. Depending on the guy and excuse, I may give them one more chance. IDK I don't have time for people like that. AND it happens! Hell, I even stand people up sometimes LOL. no need to get too upset
If I was ever stood up, I wouldn't bother keeping in touch with the guy anymore-- he wouldn't exist in my world. It shows a lack of character that I expect in any relationship.
I usually get sad when I'm stood up, especially with guys. I get upset that I wasted my time. Though I would be lying if I said I didn't have some hard feelings towards them =P
Thing is, he never said he would go. He obviously doesn't know exactly how important he is to you or thinks the same of you, else he would make it a for-sure thing in his plans.
So you have to either:
1) Let him know you'd like to spend more time with him
2) Move on, if the prospect of a relationship isn't likely
But if you were being stood up for real... if I were you, I'd move on. The respect in that case is just not there.
yeah i wouldn't really bother keeping in touch. if he doesnt want to hang out with you, he didn't.. so i take it that way that if i know a guy and he blows me off but he makes an effort to reschedule, then he wants to hang out with me. and it's a good thing you made the right decision :)
I dated a guy who had a bad habit of the whole "oh, i forgot" thing. He stood me up all the time, I was just sad. Thankfully I moved on, but it just wasn't ever good to begin with.
Well the only girl I almost got to date stood me up and then joked about it in school next monday with comments like "What made you think I would date you?" " I hope you are not mad about this hahahah*hang up*" "eew date him? never!" and then the nice 3am phone calls ...bitch.
If he says he might go then not 100% sure he would go. Plus call 1hr before you meet him up. If he doesn't pick up, then that means he might not come. Call at least 3x and leave voicemail in case he doesn't pick up the phone.
@RedZeppelin6@xanga - All too familiar to me.
I hate when I get stood up. Not just by potential boyfriends, but by my good friends too. Actually I think I hate it more when my good friends stand me up. I always feel like if we make plans together and you can't make it than at least call me and say you can't be there!
How hard is a phone call? Hell even a text??
It's disrespectful. I usually confront them about it and then I'll usually avoid that person/avoid making plans with them for awhile.
@queencleopatra702@xanga - Wow. Learn English.
@Morningstarrising@xanga - whatever gorda besa mi culo
I've been stood up before and it makes you feel so... well, your self esteem comes into question. You start to think "Did he not want to see me" Wait, if so, then why?" and you go crazy thinking of all the possible scenarios. When it happened I remember just making the best of it and talking to someone who was smiling at me earlier in the night. I later texted the guy I was supposed to meet with something like "too bad you couldn't make it, I'm having a blast with Kevin, hope your night is fun as well!!" Ok, so maybe his name wasn't Kevin but I don't remember.... and besides, I'm a little passive aggressive ;)
@queencleopatra702@xanga - Wow - that's the BEST you can come up with? Seriously?
As for your original comment, it took me three times attempting to read that nonsense to understand a word of it. You were nothing but insulting to the OP. And what the hell does being "a prude" have to do with anything? There was no mention of anything like that in the OP.
So yes, in conclusion, grow up, learn some English and get a life.
@Morningstarrising@xanga - Thank you, I thought the exact same things.
What I do when I'm going to be stood up is I have a backup plan. For example, if I want to meet a woman at a coffee shop, I pick one I enjoy studying at. That way when she never comes to meet me, I'm already there ready to study as if nothing happened. It's pretty efficient.
@MochaSprinkle@xanga - Nice lol.
I can't think of a time I've ever been stood up by a guy. By a friend, at least twice. Then again I stood her up a couple of times too haha.
*high five for being featured again!*
you know, you could always come chill with me...
i have no idea. i'd just be so embarrassed.
@Morningstarrising@xanga - wow wow wow wow u really read my comment three times!!!! i think u need to get a life!! my comment in no way was directed to u and yet here u are acting macho to me! whatever DUDE! stop reading my shit then problem solved! o yea by the way you are just so smart the way u say learn english and all ur witty insults....NOT! ur just a nosy dumbass! fuck off bitch im done with this i am better than u and better than this u might as wel quit too before u end up lookin stupid! im done! i will not respond to u one more time so fuck off
Well you two never set a date, you both just brought it up; it's just a thought. Like if I said: "I feel like going to McDonald's" doesn't mean I am actually going to the golden arches.
@queencleopatra702@xanga - LOL. You just proved me right - you ARE an idiot. And what gives you the right to make assumptions about the person who made the OP? You called her a prude and a stalker. How would you feel if someone called you a slut? What gives you the right to make assumptions about a person's sexuality? Sure, you didn't make this comment to me... you were directing it at the OP. That doesn't make it right. And yes, I had to read your comment three times, because you do not know how to use proper English grammar. Your comment made no sense and I actually had to read the OP one more time to make sure that she didn't allude to anything that you commented on in your post. You sound like a crazy person talking about how this girl is a prude and a stalker. No, she's not. She just assumed that this guy was going to come meet her, and he didn't. 10 years ago, I probably would have felt the same way if a guy stood me up. But I'm older and wiser now.
Feel free to not respond to me - that's fine. Just know that you're the one that comes across as an idiot.