Saturday, 14 November 2009

  • The Best Advice is No Advice?

    I feel a lot of people depend on the advice that other people give them; be it magazines, xanga, other blogs, friends.. whatever, but when it comes down to finding the right person for you, you gotta consider the fact that others advice are things that worked for THEM or for a certain percentage of people. How can you act the way a magazine or someone who barely knows you, tells you to?

    When it comes down to finding the person that's right for you, just be you. If the date didn't work out, take it as a good thing because if you pretended to be someone you're not, it wouldn't work out in the long run anyway, cause sooner or later your true colors will show. I think the best advice to give when it comes to dating is to just be you, enjoy the time you're about to spend and the lessons you might learn.

    Agree or Disagree?

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Comments (30)

  • laytexduckie@xanga

    I agree. I tend to take a different approach than everyone else. I still talk to my exes even recently after breaking up. I still meet them in person afterwards as well. And I always act like myself. Nothing pisses me off more than a fake person. 
  • LauraG0929@xanga

    I agree, but I also think that almost everybody who asks for advice pretty much takes everyone's answers with a grain of salt. I mean, that's definitely how I am. I might ask for your advice, but honestly I'm probably gonna do what I want in the long run anyway. Idk, maybe I'm just more thick headed than other people. =p
  • XoAsianBabioX@xanga

    plus so many people ask for advice and never use it. 
  • AnemicRoyalty64@xanga

    Agreed.
    I don't like offering advice, and I don't give it unless it's asked for.
    Usually advice is just matter of opinion from the giver to the asker.
  • doLc3@xanga

    I usually end up doing what I wanted to do anyway. But I just want to hear other people's opinions. It's like making an informed decision.
  • anonymous

    if stupid people didn't date and have dating problems that can be rendered with some common sense advice and self evaluation within themselves, then dating advice sites like this wouldn't be needed. when people are dating, they abandon common sense and touch the stove when they were not suppose to because they are stupid and don't learn.
  • Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga

    It's good to hear opinions but ultimately YOU should decide what's best for you.
  • roseoliviaxx@xanga

    agree
  • MistressAislin@xanga

    @XoAsianBabioX@xanga - Very VERY true.



    I agree.
  • JusticeCho@xanga

    I agree.  Although I do like to hear other people's opinions, but just because of what they say doesn't mean I'm going to listen.  The main reason being only I know exactly what the situation is.  While I can try to paint an entire picture for someone else, there are always things I won't tell people, or that people just can't understand about a situation.

    Also a lot of people just give crappy advice hehe.
  • ImpaledFlutterBy@xanga

    Agreed.


    What worked for one, doesn't work out exactly the same way for another.
  • EverlastingSimplicity@xanga

    Agree... But, if someone asks for it, it's up to them from there to decide whether they want to follow it or not.

  • lenybobsyouruncle@xanga

    since everyone so far is agreeing, how about a counter point?

    listening to and reflecting upon advice shows you are trusting, and open to experience.

     people want a variety of different things, and i know that the number one thing i want to to feel like i matter to my (future) Significant Other. if she was to say "um... i read in esquire that musicians are gay, poor and stupid... do you want to be with a guy?" or something, i'd rather her come to me and proactively confront me with the possibility, even if i consider it absurd, than to have her thinking about it and worrying about something going/being wrong that isn't even a possibility. that goes even if she didn't go right out and say that she got it from some xanga person, or a woman's mag. it still would show curiosity (which i find attractive) and it would bring us much closer.

    if you know exactly who you are, and who you need (or what you need of the SO), and there is no possibility for change- why even ask for advice?
    and if you don't ask for the response, it isn't advice, just a comment.
  • Vacantwhispers@xanga

    Well, I do agree, but then again this is advice in itself.

    Sometimes people need that extra push to do things, which is why they ask. Reassurance is what I always look for when asking for advice, I also like to hear what other people think and have experienced. It's up to the person, in the end, whether they choose to take the advice or not.

    I figure if it helps someone - even if they choose not to follow it - at least that's something.
  • Athlyx@xanga

    Agree.


    Haha, I want advice from that guy.
  • Bongflower@xanga

    Advice is only good in certain circumstances. When it comes to relationships, being yourself is all you can do.
    Fuck trying to do certain things to make something work. Because it doesn't work.
  • tokyoexpressman@xanga

    I have a hard time doing this primarily because I don't like when people come to me under the guise of looking for "advice" when all they really want to do is vent. If you don't want advice or an attempt to fix your problem from me, then just tell me that you really need to talk and let some things out and I'll keep my mouth shut and listen.

    Don't ask for "advice" though if you don't want it though. That drives me absolutely batshit.
  • i_am_a_prodigy@xanga

    Advice is only works when you are in a tough situation, or when you might need someone's help...But definently not for relationships. Only you know who is best for you.

  • Gorrific@xanga

    It was kind of ironic how you bashed blind advice and then gave some. 
  • ichigo705@xanga

    Agreed. What works for some people, doesn't necessarily work for others. :)
  • deep2000@xanga

    Strongly agree. I think most them whom seek advivces somewhat seek for comforting is their main goal. But one thing you did specified here are true that is to be with someone that you can also be yourself. Otherwise it would be a complete misery if you have to act someone else becuz you're afraid to loose someone. Take my case for instance, dated many time that I numerously fake myself out just to keep that person....in the long run not only I suffered from depression but looses the guy even quicker than I thought. Luckily after I realized that, I finally and found someone whom I am NOT worry him of anything, I felt 100% secure with him and we are getting marry. All in all only becuz he accepts me for the person I am. In which I enjoy being a complete Biatch Hardcore, also extremely blunt and harsh. I love giving my bf such a hard time....I love dramas....


    SO U SEEE.....that there's nothing is not possible if you think ur not good enough???...THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE really enjoys to have someone so lively or wreckessly...no matter if it is for the good cause or bad...it has alot to do with compability. Even if you're a psychopathic gf can have a psychopathic bf gets marry and have psychopathic kids...MAKE SENSE? Do not act or fake...u have a 100% success to fail in the relationship!
  • weirdgirl017@xanga

    Agreed... I always think **NO ONE** has a PERFECT dating life; so why would you listen to them anyways? Go with how you feel!
  • danisha301@xanga

    I STRONGLYY DISAGREEE!,  advice is not suppose sway you to one side, it gives you options and different point of views! you are not force upon to pick one. it just gives you help, and support on a problem you have!
  • itSxOnLyxfOrEvEr@xanga

    If I would have read this a week ago, I would have totally disagreed. For a good part of my life, I've depended solely on advice I got from my friends, family, magazines, xanga, etc. Now, I've reccently discovered that advice maybe isn't the best way to live my life. You have to make you own decisions and make your own mistakes. I think advice is good in moderation, as something to take into consideration as something that may have worked for someone else in a similar situation.


    I love this post, haha!

  • ieatcrayons

    I want some fashion advice from that guy. He definitely has it going on wowwww

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