So it happened. The thing that women always question to themselves... or at-least i know i did? "Will I ever have a one night stand?" That answer finally was answered to me last night. The answer was "yes."
I would previously write in my blogs that I am nowhere close to the label "SLUT" but I am horny a lot ever sense me and my first love broke up. I asked and just talk to myself on whether or not it was worth seeing some person and just having sex. Cause it came to the point for me that I wouldn't care who I with. (giving the exception that he would be clean in all aspects.) But at the time I had only been with one person at the time, and like I said he was my first love, so I was at the level of people I ever wanted to be with. Yet the thought that as always at the back of my mind was... " Would I be considered a slut? Would I lose my self respect? Will I look in the mirror and despise myself in the end?"
Then I don't know what came over me. I came to the point where I was curious, and "CARE" in anything didn't matter anymore. (I hate when that happens) I went to his house. We got straight to business, and to top it off, it wasn't that good. Maybe because it didn't have any meaning to me.
Afterword, I told a friend about what happened. She has been with more people than me, and told me... "Don't become me." I don't consider her a slut because she is one of my good friends and I know all of her situations behind all of the people she has been with. I told her I cant believe I did that, and its not like me, but at the time it seemed like I should. I just flat out didn't know what came over me. Now I have 2 notches in my belt and I am not particularly happy about the second one.
Later the second day, I was sitting on the floor just thinking. Thinking about how I felt and how messed up it made me. I feel like my love making isn't worth anything if I could just give it away like that. It's so easy ( in my eyes) to end up repeating the same mistakes. I wouldn't want to repeat the same mistake of despise and blah blah blah.
Have you ever had a one-night stand? How did that make you feel? Do you think that one-night stands are that bad? Please tell me, im curious on what others think about this subject.
Comments (54)
I've had 2 one night stands.
I don't see anything wrong with it, but personally I don't find it fulfilling, sexually or emotionally. The good news is, now I know that I want more than just sex. Maybe, when I get out of a long term relationship I'll have another one night stand, but I'm quite content not to have another one.
I'm not ashamed because my experiences helped me determine how special I think sex is. "Making love" to someone is wonderful.
Nope, not my thing.
I had a few one night stands when I was a very young teen. They always left me feeling pretty awful about myself even if the sex was good. It was never amazing sex though and I learned as I grew as a person that what makes for amazing sex is an emotional connection that one simply can't get with a one night stand.
you're bashing yourself way too hard. Yes be upset that you did this but dont regret it or think of yourself as a bad person or a slut. We are human and we have needs. At that moment in time it is something that you wanted and so it is not something that you should dwell over and think what if. It happened you learn from your mistakes and you move on. All you can do with situations like these is learn. :)
Dont be so hard on yourself. Everyone ends up having one of these nights. And its TOTALLY ok. You are NOT a slut. Do not let other people label you because of a bad mis step. YOU choose what and who you are. It is in YOUR power to choose how you want to be perceived. You are an independent woman who likes sex. Like every other women in the world. Embrace it. love yourself....
Trust me I have spent many days like the one you had about thinking about what came over me and who I was turning into...where I am going...Its good to have one of those but then you move on and you hope to God you have the strength to change and make better decisions.
:) goodluck
I had my first one night stand not too long ago, and honestly it made me feel like shit. First of all because I wasn't really in my right mind since alcohol was involved, but also because everything about that night was just below my standards... I feel like I lessened myself and my worth by what happened that night in a sense (i.e. because I know I could have "done better" in terms of finding a guy who was better looking, or better personality, or respected me more... something like that?) But I try not to be too harsh on myself, and you shouldn't either. I think one night stands aren't a bad thing necessarily. But even with one night stands, there should be some sort of standard we have for ourselves. If you're somewhat attracted to a guy, or whatever, then go for it. I think when you start fucking just any guy you see with no reason, I think that's when the term "slut" may come in.
You live and you learn.
It wasn't good so don't repeat it. Hashing over the past isn't going to help.
im too frightened of AIDS to even think of having a one night stand :(
I dont know if youve realized it or not but I feel like your break up with your first really affected you because I would have done the same if I were in your shoes. Im not the kind of girl who thinks about one night stands but I could see myself losing interest in other men if I ever broke up with a boyfriend I really cared about. For me, and I dont know about you its kinda like starting a blank sheet of paper again with someone after putting so much effort and things on that paper and suddenly it ends and u have to start a clean sheet of paper again with someone else it kinda gets discouraging in a sense. This really didnt answer your question but its just a random thought sorry.
No.
Lol well. It was definitely a life lesson. Something that I'm completely sure (from then on) is not me (I don't know how some girls do it!) and plus, it's really demoralizing.
I highly doubt men will readily admit to having one night stands and loving those women, who are willing to have one night stands with them, so they don't have to pay a prostitute for sex.
I've had two one night stands that included sex, a few that were just making out and so on. I regret all of them heh. Well not that I really regret like damning myself. But all of them sucked. I don't like doing something so intimate with someone only once, if I'm going to show that much of myself to you I would expect it to be more meaningful than just wanting to see what it was like with me heh. I don't think I'm in the majority of guys on that subject though. I don't think it's worth it to beat yourself up over it, just if you don't like te the idea don't do it again on purpose. It will probably happen again wanted or not though.
lol, no! but a bunch of college students thought we did. it wasn't a tri-some! eheeheeehee....
Masturbation only you are using a warm body... actually it's less fulfilling than real masturbation and you have to figure out how to leave.
I think Everyone has at least one, one night stand. I have, most of the people I know have. In my instance I got a little to drunk at a party, and was in a very reckless mood. It sure as hell was not the smartest thing I have ever done, but I am, and always have been very at peace with it. But I define a slut as a woman, or man that uses sex for spite.
I wouldn't ever have a one-night stand, but that is just me.
I couldn't do a one night stand. I prefer commitement, and I like to know the other person has feelings for me and not just my vag!
LOL what? I only read the first line and it raised an eyebrow. What women ask themselves if they'll ever have a one night stand. The way you worded it seems like asking one's self if they'll ever marry.
Than I read the rest. No, but if I was feelin' it and single, maybe.
i have not asked myself that. because i know i wouldn't do it.
I hope not.
I wouldn't do it. Not because I think you'd be a horrible person for doing it, but because I know that sex is something for me to feel connected to someone, and I can't understand why you would want to let someone in that close if you weren't in love. Or at least have some feelings for the person.
And if I did do it, I'd probably feel horrible because it's something that connects you to someone, and I'd feel it and they wouldn't. I know it would make me feel alone and sad, so i wouldn't inflict that on myself.
I wouldn't do it. Of course, some people may not care, but I certainly do. I at least want to have my first (and every) time with the man I marry, because it means so much, at least to me.
I have never had a one nigher,
Yup! With one who was originally from Paris. And he was one of the best in bed.
I didn't develop too much of an attachment and there was that lack of unfulfilled emotion that made it a bit hollow and awkward. But I don't regret it.
Maybe this dude wasn't performing his best with you.
Well, that's besides the point. PLEASE don't beat yourself up over this! (As long as you used a condom) You're still young! I mean, think for a minute. How many guys beat themselves up over a one nite stand? And I don't want to hear the "men and women are different" crap!