Friday, 13 November 2009
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How Common Are Rape Fantasies?
I was really shocked yesterday when my girlfriend told me, but she's really worried about one of her friends. It seems that for the last 2 years, this girl she knows hopes for and dreams about being raped by strangers. She goes into public chat rooms, get's into private conversations with men, sends them copies of nude photos she took of herself, then gives them her cell number and home address.
When my girlfriend saw her do this she asked why, and this girl says "because I really want a bunch of strange men to grab me off the street and rape me, over and over again, maybe even for a few days before they let me go." No, she wasn't kidding! She even let some strange guy pick her up a couple months go, went home with him, got drunk and they had unprotected sex for the rest of the day. The only things she didn't like about it was he wasn't rough with her at all (she wanted some pain) and he didn't invite his friends over to use her.
So I ask you all, how common is this? I think that girl needs some serious professional therapy, but then I see messages from other girls who say they actually like this sort of thing and try to do it often. Are they nuts, or am I nuts for thinking they are?
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- From: Randseed@xanga
- Name: Randseed
- About Me: videographer, computer systems engineer.
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Comments (170)
Bizarre, but to each his/her own...
i think that's really weird... but i have no experience in dealing with matters such as these
wtf is wrong wit her
That's definitely screwed. I can appreciate being thrown around in the bedroom just as much as the next girl, but I can't imagine actually wanting to be in that kind of a situation. I agree with you, she needs some hardcore therapy.
Rape fantasies are fairly common --research suggests that around 30-50% of women have experienced one at least once (Critelli & Bivona, 2008, "Women's erotic rape fantasies: an evaluation of theory and research).
However, what this girl is doing goes far beyond normal rape fantasy and into very risky behavior! I agree with you that she definitely needs help of some kind. Even if she does wish to experience rough sex or group sex (I've absolutely nothing against that if that's what she wants), there are ways to explore this SAFELY. What she's doing now is really dangerous and can have life long consequences.
Well its not "rape". Just forceful sex.
Rough sex is one thing.
But she really needs to be carefull there are strange people out there. Couldn't she at least find a rough sex buddy? Someone she knows? She needs some attention, the healthier kind.
w t f
most likely she'll get what she wants if she's searching so hard for it...but it probably wont end the way her imagination thinks it will...end of story...
well...being raped is most deff not a good thing....DUH!!!! but this is america...ppl are strange and bizzarre, and they have the right to be. but i believe this girl is gonna get hurt one day if she doesnt stop.
weird!
I am...stunned. And slightly disgusted.
Wanting to be pushed around, maybe tied up, maybe roughed up, or perhaps wanting to experience a group sex situation...Those things I can understand and think doing them safely is fine.
This reminds of a weird movie I saw part of where a girl wanted to have sex so badly, she inserted herself between a rapist and his victim so he would rape her instead. Not healthy.
And I'm fairly certain that many rapists do not let their victims go free in fear of the victim spilling it all to the authorities. I would suggest you set her up with an intervention of some kind, my friend.
Walk through detroit in a mini skirt.... just saying.
Damn thats horrid.Fantasy is FANTASY, but reality, might hit her and she may grieve with AIDS and despair.I don't think she needs help, but I do think that she needs to be careful about this. She could get a lot more than she asks for, you know?
This is just crazy .
Rough sex. Good. Role play. Good. Rape. Very bad.
ehm ... you know ... sometimes rape ends in murder?
that's REALLY effed up....yeh, therapy sounds good
Ehh...I guess if you try to play it as safe as possible somehow?
I don't think she's fucked up for thinking this way, but I worry for her safety. I suppose if she wants to have sex with these men, and even explores those possibilities, it's not really rape, but she could be killed.
I've been thinking of that fantasy with a girl for a while
I think i'm just a sucker for rough sex
@just_the_average_jane@xanga - EXACTLY.
She really does need some therapy or something. She can play out these fantasies safely, but not the way she's going about it. She's going to end up with and STD, and if that's all she gets she'll be lucky. :(
Maybe she needs to have a conversation with a person who's actually a victim of rape. Perhaps then she's realize it's not something she really wants. It's a very violent crime. She will end up very badly injured, scarred for life, or even dead. Seriously she needs some help.
That's a little odd. and by a little, I mean a LOT.
Granted, I'm not a woman.... BUT....
there's a big difference between rape and role play. rape means you don't consent. she just wants rough sex and in a very bad way (strangers? really??)
what she's doing is pretty fucking nuts.
only if they are all clones of david beckham. otherwise, strange men from chatrooms, no way jose. a masochist orgy is safer
maybe not. firstly, make sure the stranger doesn't have a shrine of hannibal in his basement
ehhh... As a concerned friend, I would worry about her safety. Rape -> Murder
uh, she is crazy, you dont think that shes looking for attention do you? she has to be pretty messed up to want that, i mean role playin and rough sex is another, but actually doing the things she does is going to end very badly, she needs some serious help!
I know this will probably make me look bad, but I tend to speak my mind.
If she's determined to do it as a friend you may want to "set"it up for
her that way you can make sure the guy is "decent" you can set
boundaries like protection, et all and well, I don't know, that could
make you a criminal too I dunno. If she changes her mind you could get
in trouble...
Unless you work it out with her and she agrees then you can just say,
"you really want it? I'll find a guy/guys." and then maybe she can have
a controlled environment (all seem to agree that's good) but maybe the
element she doesn't like about that is asking/picking out the guys ya
know? But if she only knows you'll help her and one night BAM fantasy
fulfilled and then you ask "Was that ok for you?" and then she'd know
better. I mean it's not really rape if she's asking someone to do it,
but if it's mostly a surprise then maybe that'll work. Get her to sign
an agreement or videotape it that she's not gonna press charges esp.
for the guy.
As a guy, I'll admit that I did it with my ex-wife because she asked to
be raped/roughed up and admittedly I liked it a bit but at first I was
afraid to hurt her, but if a woman can fantasize about it beiing done
to her, isn't it ok if a guy fantasizes, I mean just fantasizes about
it? I could never really ever hurt a woman, and I felt really odd doing
that to my wife, but in a way I loved having full control over her and
it let me get out my aggression. I ordered her around and threatened
her, but I could barely be rough with the sex and couldn't hit/hurt her
at all. But I do sort of understand the fantasy... As a guy I've
thought it would be interesting for a woman to force me into sex, but
I'm also a very conservative guy who has only ever been witrh my wife
and she always took the lead, I'm kind of a weak personality...