Rape is the act of forcing sex on someone who does not want it. I know that's not from a dictionary or anything, but that's the gist of it, in my opinion. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people misuse this word (Along similar lines, I hate when people use the word "gay" to imply that something is "stupid", but I won't go into that right now).
It seems to me that it's kind of a trend for people to use the word "rape" to mean other things. I've heard people say things like, "I totally want to rape that guy; he's so hot!", and "That test totally butt-raped me. I definitely failed."
I don't think it's okay to use the word rape in those kinds of circumstances. I feel it's offensive to people who actually have been raped, as in, they were coerced into having sex with somebody against their will. You never know if someone you're talking to has been raped, either, so if you get into the habit of using this word incorrectly, you might really offend someone. I've seen it happen. This guy I used to know who went to my college last year would often tell people that he'd love to "rape" certain guys on campus. I was at the cafeteria with one of my best friends here, and we heard this guy start talking about someone he'd love to "rape." She had tears in her eyes when she told the guy that him using the word like that really offended her, because she had actually been raped. Using the word "rape" in these kinds of ways can really hurt someone.
Is it common wherever you live for people to use the word "rape" incorrectly? What do you think of it? Am I being too sensitive/politically correct, or do you find it offensive as well?
Comments (93)
This annoys me too. However, I dont mind when people use "kill" as in, "I cant believe you stole my cookie! I'm gunna kill you!"
I wonder why it seems more ok to use the word "kill" than the word "rape," though I'm not going to argue over which one is worse. They both are terrible things.
women are known at times to "use the word 'rape' incorrectly". as in, they make false allegations of rape in an attempt to ruin a guy's life..happened to a friend recently, and it was quite sad. sad for both of them for the public humiliation, and sad because it only increases the plight of those women who have actually been victims of this dreadful crime.
Hmmm. The innovation of words such as "tween" annoy me. Misuse of words have been going on forever, and frankly that doesn't bother me at all.
When did Cool gain positive connotation? Why (depending on your geographic location) Mad or Hella become synonyms for very or many?
Slang is slang, even if it is a word that stems from a very serious crime or victimization.
Racism doesn't bother me much either, it's usually the intent behind the words.
But if the misuse of that word pisses you off, you are by no means being insensitive. If anyone is insensitive about it all, it's either the people who use the word or the people who are indifferent about it.
good post steph!
Er, I don't see where the problem is (for most of the statements). Rape has a highly negative association; this negative association is then applied to situations that, while not literal rape, are considered to be similarly negative (if not at the same level of magnitude).
As a side note:
It seems to me that it's kind of a trend for people to use the word "rape" to mean other things. I've heard people say things like, "I totally want to rape that guy; he's so hot!",
...That isn't using rape differently than it would normally be used, it's just being an idiot. That use is definitely offensive...but you have to balance it with the fact that those kinds of people are functionally braindead.
i don't mind it, people are too sensitive.
I've used the word "rape" incorrectly before. Of course, it's an issue of the people I'm around, who have used it that way long before I have. Same for "kill." I guess it's just circumstantial.
That said, I understand how it'd be quite insulting to somebody who's been raped, and around those people I'd likely avoid using it as such.
@forgottenrevelations@xanga - good points.
In high school I'd always hear kids say "I raped that hoe" as in... they aced the exam. It's very common for people to use the word "rape" incorrectly, I especially don't like it when they refer to wanting to "rape" somebody because they're attractive. I feel the term "rape" is used to let someone know that they want aggressive sex, but what people don't realize that victims are beaten down and violated against there will.
@forgottenrevelations@xanga - "those kinds of people are functionally braindead"
...Judgmental much?
It doesn't really bother me, and I had an experience with an ex-boyfriend who didn't understand what the word 'stop' or 'no' meant. But then again I throw around the word gay and faggot a lot and I'm bisexual. Stuff just doesn't bother me? But I try to be sensitive around those who do get offended.
thank you for writing this.
Often times...it's more ignorant people who use these slang terms to express themselves. I have to admit, I'm pretty damn ignorant too since I tend to use the term "gay" as in stupid every so often. It almost becomes habit, and it doesnt necessarily make it right...but I feel as though if the way its presented is in a joking way, it should be taken lightly. I do feel for those who may be affected by it, and therefore usually watch where I'm at before attempting to use such slang. Also I only use it with my close friends as I know it has no affect on them, but I'll never intentionally yell it out at any public area. Again, you never know who you're offending
It is never ok to use the word "rape" casually. It's more than just annoying - it's offensive and extremely hurtful for those who have endured being sexually assaulted.
Since when is 'gay' used to mean "stupid"? ...'gay' is used to mean something is bad, weak, perverse, shallow, superficial, vile, vulgar, trite, vapid, sickly, wrong, offensive, tainted...all quite apt descriptions of the "gay" 'scenes' as well.
Rape is an awful thing, however 'rape' can be used in another context to signify that something else is horrendous.
It's a really insensitive thing to say, much along the lines of, as you said, using "gay" to say something is "stupid." (And yes, the old crowd like s_kotyy don't realize it because they don't talk to younger people and only ostracize them.... but I digress.) But then again, it's not like people are going to stop saying it. After all, the only people it affects are the faggots like me and the people who have been raped.
To me the word rape has a negative connotation. Rape can be used in many other circumstances but the situations you listed are obviously wrong way of using it. Just like using "gay" to mean stupid, uncool, weird, etc...
The world is so obsessed with being politically correct. I do feel bad for girls and guys that have been raped but at the same time you can't force everyone to soften the blow of the memory by avoiding the word. Therapy helps, avoidance doesn't.
I totally agree. I hate it when people misuse that word, especially other guys. I don't like being associated with people who talk like that all the time.
I think it's just one of those words people should be location-sensitive about using. I don't swear or use any sort of questionable words in front of my family, and I think that's appropriate. I will however, swear, and use all sorts of questionable material in front of people I'm close to, and I think that's ok. Using words like rape, nigger and whatever else has become slang just needs some proper discretion as to the area you're in.
@forgottenrevelations@xanga - @S_K_O_T@xanga - Agreed.
I'm not about to stop using certain words because people don't like them. Most of the time these words aren't being used improperly.
People are ignorant. A word ban won't ever change that...just like every string of words out there will never make someone understand the hurt something like the misuse of "rape" causes until they have been in that situation or knows someone who has.
@S_K_O_T@xanga - That's your opinion. You don't speak for everyone.
I don't think you're being too sensitive as it bothers me too. I'm guilty of using the word, both in the past and even now occasionally, but I'm trying my best not to drop it so carelessly. Rape is a horrible experience and I can't equate it to the daily inanities of my life. It's just not fair to those who have been affected by rape: the survivors, the families, etc.
Side note: I never knew that being mindful of other people's feelings was a bad thing which is why I hate the term "politically correct". Those who complain about everything being so PC usually don't take into account that just because they are unaffected by something, doesn't mean everyone else lives in their world of puppies, lollipops, rainbows, and privilege. One person's experiences and feelings do not equal the world's. [/end rant]
honestly who the hell cares. people are WAY too nitpicky nowadays about the littlest things. take in mind
Gay = happy
faggot = cigarette
douche = cleanser
i mean cmon these are just 3 of the words that people use to slanderize, insult and everything else with. Life is short. I agree rape is a horrible thing, but do i get offended in an online game when someone states "haha i raped your guy"?
Not really no, its just a word. and if people get offended by it, well say sorry. but its not like that person's sole intentions are to hurt anothers feelings. if you want to have people stop using words that could offend others, then you better take out alot of words out of the english language that people use nowadays.
@imTHEmeowMIXcat@xanga - i dont think he was trying to speak for everyone, he simply inputted his own opinion and last time i checked this was a free country.
@S_K_O_T@xanga - Gay means happy. Look it up. First official meaning in the dictionary. Second it'll say of a homosexual nature. I've only ever heard people use it in a term that means stupid or unfair. I've never heard of the term gay meaning anything like what you described. Clearly that's just what you think of gay people.