Thursday, 12 November 2009
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"Do You Wanna Know a Secret?"
I don’t know if I wanna talk about it cause it's kinda disturbing. But totally funny…it's funny disturbing.
I went out with some friends recently to check out this lounge. One of my friends introduced me to one of his friends. We were chatting and then all of a sudden he asks if he could take me out to dinner the following night. I said that I’m not really big into dating but that we could hang out and see what happens.
So I gave him my number.
Oh soooo bad.
He kept smiling and saying how great it was going to be and how much fun we were going to have. And then he looked at me kinda weird for a second. He leaned in and whispered into my ear “do you wanna know a secret?”
I grabbed my glass and drank. It's like that commercial where they say “need a moment? chew it over with Twix”.
Of course I don’t wanna know a secret if you have to whisper it into my ear. The bad thing is that I’m always too curious to say no even if my brain is screaming it.
“Sure,” I said.
He smiles, leans in again, and tells me:
“I love having sex with bigger women. They keep you warm. They hug you tight. And unlike thin chicks, they are the first to try out new positions and threesomes. And it doesn’t matter where on their body you stick it, it's AMAZING.”
NEED A MOMENT?? Chew it over with Twix.
Then again, I’ll understand if you never want to eat again.
I drank every drink at the table until he looked at me smiled and asked me what I thought. This was pretty out there for me. It was not even like this guy was big himself and wanted to support the other big people of the world by sticking his penis in them. He was thin, tall, and kinda good looking, you know, for a creepy pervert guy. He told me that he didn’t want to creep me out (too late!) but he thought I was beautiful and he loved my shape. He touched my hand and I kinda swallowed vomit.
So I am adding this to my list. My list of things I never want to hear from a guy ever again. It's not just him either. Guys with foot fetishes freak the heck out of me. One of my professors once told us that people with very specific fetishes have the wires crossed in their brain and associate random things with pleasure that are not normally pleasurable. I don’t know about that. I just hate meeting a guy and the first thing he says to me is how sad he is that I didn’t wear open toed shoes.
The story gets weirder. YES, it is possible.
Today I got an email from the guy who likes big girls. It had a video with the title “safer sex.” Stupidly, I thought he found a video I could use for one of my presentations cause I told him I teach my fellow college students safer sex. I actually thought, while I waited for the video to load, that he was kinda sweet and I shouldn’t have judged him like that. And then the video loaded.
It was 40 seconds long. It was a guy…and a really, really obese woman. And the guy was having sex her bellybutton.
I closed it immediately and wrote him back a very nice email thanking him.
“YOU ARE DISGUSTING!! PIG, PIG, PIG! NEVER EVER CALL ME, EMAIL ME, OR EVEN LOOK AT ME AGAIN. YOU MAKE ME SICK TO MY STOMACH. YOU DIRTY F-ing PERVERT.”
And then, our short relationship was over. So sad. Love is so hard.
I normally say, “the lesson here is…”, but I have no idea what the lesson here is. I am disgusted but in between the vomiting, I’m kinda laughing. Out of all the guys in New York City and even though I don’t get out a lot or give my number out, I end up with dirty fat fetish guy.
I think I’m pretty open minded; I encourage my safer sex couples to discuss and explore things, but is it just me or do you find fetish guys creepy too? Have you ever had an encounter with someone who had a fetish that was "out there?"
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- From: The_Aimed_Wanderer@xanga
- Name: The_Aimed_Wanderer
- About Me: I'm scared messed up lost girl. I think I'm a good person, loyal, moral, reasonable, but for some reason I always seem to get myself into trouble...
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Comments (76)
Wow, that's so weird. And even if one could accept his fetish, sending you that email was way out of line. Gross!
LOL, this story was hilarious! loved the twix ad moment. I agree guys with foot fetishes gross me out. Also, if a guy ever whispered something like that to my ear, I too would vomit... probably on him.
OMG, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
This story is fantastic and utterly gross, but I loved it! =p People are so weird sometimes, but hey...without them, life wouldn't be as interesting. Why did he feel like he could tell you that anyway? Hadn't he just met you? I'd hate to hear what he tells his close friends, lol.
I had a guy tell me a weird fetish one time out of the blue, and it caught me pretty off guard because he was such a chilled out, normal guy. He said he wanted to introduce razor blades into the bedroom and he wanted us to cut each other during sex, lick up each other's blood, etc, etc... I was pretty grossed out by that. I'm one of those wimps that gets all woosie from the sight of blood!
Guys are weird...
Bellybutton sex? Now that's a new one to me.
The problem with fetishes-- true fetishes, not just kink/preferences that are out of the mainstream --is that it stops being about the other person, and is just about a particular object/act/idea. So for example, I wouldn't automatically have a problem with someone who found my feet arousing, as long as he also found the rest of me arousing. It's only creepy/uncomfortable when I start feeling like all I am to him is a pair of feet.
LMAO i almost pissed myself reading this. luckily, i chose to use the bathroom before i read my sub's list. that guy was waaay out of line, i sometimes don't know what makes people comfortable doing things like that with people they barely know.
anyway, to answer your question, my boyfriend has a fishnet, thigh-high boots and miniskirt fetish to match his bitchy, dominant girl one. not that weird, plenty of people are into that, and well, hookers wear that stuff for a reason. it used to be a bit weirder though. we were best friends for years before i found out his secret, because, well, we didn't always go out, and it bothered him. i was also the first girlfriend he ever told, because i was the first one he ever got quite that close to. i would share details here, but i'm not sure if that would be violating his trust, save to say it was a bit of an S&M thing, only neither of us was the submissive (not a third party, either). i didn't actually see much of a problem with it, because i'm weird too, and i thought it was amusing and kind of fun. it really bothered him though, so he is in sex therapy now. he's gotten a lot better about it, but he still needs me to wear what i refer to as the whore outfit almost every time.
ahh men. gotta love 'em.
LAWL. I'm sorry, I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of the dating world.
Wait, I'm single.. FML. ='(
:D I like how you told the story. LOVE the Twix parts...haha so true. Yeah, that was weird. And the email was SO creep-tastic and out there...maybe it was all a joke? I sure hope so.
oh goodness wow. I'm sorry!
I think I just vomited in my mouth.... I would have punched the person straight away!
Actually I did once.
I started talking to this guy online, he seemed like a very nice person at first. I still think he is quite atractive but once he speaks it just ruins it for me.
So he wanted to meet up for drinks, and me being me, I said I'm going with my girl friends to a cafe, if he'd like to meet us there. He shows up, I remember it was winter, and right away I'm attracted to him.
So we talk, one of my girl friends has to leave and I'm left with him and my other friend. Our discussions vary and I realize that I don't really like this guy.
Then he drops a bomb shell, which almost made me spit out my coffee across the room.
"I wonder what it's liked to be f****ed up the bum with a dildo..."
Um...What? A long silence followed and we didn't know what to say. At first I asked plain out are you gay? He said no, then continued to defend himself, saying he wonders what it feels like.
Ok ok, I get having fetishes, or trying out new things but really on the first meet, you drop a bomb like that.
So I guess you can add this one to the list.
XOXOLonelyLoveGirl
LOL! Awesome writing, awful story, sorry it happened, but for sheer entertainment value... that rocked.
The lesson is, some men are just creepy.
Though admittedly I'm more attracted to larger women a lot of the time, that's more aesthetic reasons than anything.
HAHA, this made my day. I'm sorry that you had to experience that.
What the hell...this guy has some weird fetish or something...why would you have a clip of that.........
@LauraG0929@xanga - WHAT. THE. FUCK? :0 RAZORBLADES?!
@yewskinnymuhfukas@xanga - Haha, yeah...isn't that gross? Needless to say it never happened.
Fetishes are fetishes. People will all have their quirks, and that's fine and dandy, but I don't necessarily want to be a part of it. What's disturbing here is that he openly discussed sex with you before your first date! That's appalling, inappropriate and crude! And sending you a video is just over the top. Thank fuck you told him off!
I had a guy sort of tell me the same thing when I was heavier. Needless to say, I wasn't ecstatic about being told how he likes bigger women like myself. Nice.
My boyfriend doesn't find me fat at all. In fact, he finds my body quite pleasing. Which makes me happy since I wouldn't want to be with a guy who "loves" fat women, or big women, or whatever the fuck he happened to say.
I'm torn, I mean, it was way crude of him to say that and send that without even knowing you...but on the other hand think of the time he saved you by exposing himself right from the start? No really, I mean that. It sucks to find out such crap after you've invested 4 weeks, several excited phone calls to your gal pals about him and mentioning him to your mom, and THEN find out he's a total creep who never really liked YOU...just some random physical aspect of you.
I've never been with anyone who had a serious fetish, or if they did , they never mentioned it.
I don't think guys that prefer big woman are creepy, out of hand. They may be, or it might just be that they find them visually or sensually more appealing. We all have our "types" we go for, and it's not always a "danger 'Will Robinson" scenario. And it IS one thing to say "Wow I really like red heads" than to whisper in someone's ear all the fantasies you have.
Also, not to apologize for his creep factor, there are gals who go for the same things he does. He knows this and he has learned how to cut to the chase to identify them. Get it out there right from the start, if they are turned on by the talk...they are likely partners, if it turns them off...move on.
Or maybe this is just his way of "flashing" women, say something shocking and outrageous and get a boner from experiencing their reaction....
I'm a woman and I admit to having a bit of that last tendency in me. I get a thrill out of naughty talk, even if it comes inappropriately early...and I tend to say a few shocking things to men I flirt with to see how they respond. Maybe I'm a creep too.
im sorry but big is not beautiful.
xanga doesn't have a smiley for my reaction ...
This guy I had been talking to told me he knew this girl who asked him to stick knives in her vagoo, and cut her legs during sex. Needless to say, I didn't ask whether he did it or not, because it seemed to turn him on a bit...so it was one of those "don't ask, walk away NOW" sort of situations.
My ex had this fetish with women wearing pantyhose. It wasn't weird (sure, I can see they make legs look pretty nice and shapely sometimes) until he wanted to have sex while I was wearing them and told me he jerked off into pantyhose regularly. What a disgusting freak.
@actualization@xanga - I agree!
Oh WTF!!!! That is SOOO messed up!!! LOL!