Wednesday, 11 November 2009
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The Line Between Sex and Emotions
Infatuation is the common occurrence of wanting someone sexually, without having already got to know them. I'm honestly not sure how those correlate, but that's the theory.
What I want to know is whether you experience an emotional version of infatuation under any circumstances. Because the line between emotions and sex might be blurry, this is what I mean:
'Have you ever looked at someone and against all rationality and better judgment wanted to fulfill him/her, by any means necessary without an ounce of selfishness in it? Or felt that by making someone else happy that you would feel happy? '
Since it isn't fair to ask and not tell. I have, and while I was called a liar and rebuked a few times, while the infatuation was still strong her -s-m-i-l-e-s- existence erased all negative thoughts and worries.
Also would you want to feel it? And would you accept what someone said as truth if they told you something along the above lines?
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About the Author
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- From: lenybobsyouruncle@xanga
- Name: leny
- Location: Portland, Oregon, United States
- About Me: prepared to love, but afraid that the want is obscure
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 1716 Comments: 0 19 View all posts by lenybobsyouruncle@xanga
Comments (19)
The feeling of infatuation has inspired a poem once someone went so far as to call what I had lust, which was really not right.
Lust is something that means you want someone because of one or two things, instead of the whole package.
Infatuation is when you like more of that someone or something alone.
Lust gets boring.
Infatuation gets dangerous, sometimes.
Lust goes straight for the wanting.
Infatuation goes for the needing.
Lust is wanting things to want it
Infatuation is wanting things because you feel there is an emotional, psychological benefit involved.
Lust gets old.
Infatuation gets a restraining order. Haha!
Lust simply isn't love.
Infatuation is pegged as a pretty dangerous substitute for love, but all the same, it isn't.
But if you have to choose one as a subsitute to call love
Use both sparingly.
hmmm infactuation. I def have felt this before and it is one of the funnest feelings ever. Like nothing else in the world matters. Its just the two of you and all you wanna do is make them happy...
I dont know. I feel like those are the feelings though in the beginning of a relationship. When you ust wanna spend every living moment with that person and you couldnt imagine life without them.
I haven't been hit hard with infatuation since high school when I was trying to get with this girl I met at a dance. All I wanted to do was spend time with her and be with her-at the time nothing else mattered.
well, i know i've been infatuated, bbut can't say that i've felt that definition.
I understand on the emotional front of wanting to make someone smile even at your own expense.
Yes, I have, and I know he knew it. Would I want to feel it again? Only if it were returned.
Would I want someone to tell me they felt that way if I didn't return it? Absolutely not! I would accept it as truth, but I would feel very sad for them. ESPECIALLY if I cared for them deeply.
Yes! earlier this year, much earlier. I created feelings and scenarios about this one perfect lady whom of which i used to see every other day. We talked but it was slim cause she had an SO that later became her husband... I'm happy she's happy.
I felt infatuation so many times...but only once did it lead to love...although it was short lived. Sucks, I know.
My philosophy now: DEAL WITH YOU SOME SON OF A BITCH (referring to myself).
Thank you
According to studies infatuation can last up to ninty days. Sometimes more than that, sometimes less. This is why I tell people to wait a LONG while before they sleep with someone. You'll really know that it's love.
Am I saying to sleep with him after 3 months? NO! I believe that everyone should wait till marriage to have sex. But, I do agree that you should know the person longer than 4-6 months if you don't believe the same way I do.
In FACT, I believe that you shouldn't even kiss/fool around for about that time as well. Seriously and TRULY see if it works out before you give into hormones.
Infatuation happens to everyone *shrug* And sometimes it can lead to more, though it usually leads to nothing at all. I tend to fall victim to it right at first, then realize what's going on and 'fess up before anyone's feelings get hurt. Only once has it led to anything more for me, and that was nearly three years of ups and downs that I wouldn't trade for anything :)
I've had pretty intense feelings of both lust and infatuation. My infatuation was largely based on who the person was whereas the lust was largely based on the person's sexual attractiveness. I was fully capable of controlling my lustful feelings but the infatuation completely overcame me. That could just be a result of my rarely meeting someone who emotionally and intellectually fulfills me or maybe infatuation is just much closer to real love than lust is.
My infatuation fits your quote almost perfectly except I didn't even have to look at her to want to make her happier. Just the thought of her alone was powerful enough to make me buy gifts.
Can we be trusted under these emotional states? That's very complicated. When I was infatuated I wanted to be whatever she wanted me to be, which luckily for her, included being honest. She made it clear early on in our relationship that she valued honestly very highly. If she hadn't made that clear to me I probably would not have been trust worthy.
@lenybobsyouruncle@xanga - Wow, cool. That's exactly how I experienced it too. Just knowing that she was nearby made me feel good.
"did buying gifts work?"
Yes but use caution. You don't want someone to love you because you have a big wallet. She actually bought me more gifts than I ever bought her. I added it up one day and found that she outspent me on our relationship by about $150 out of nearly $500. The becoming completely, unyieldingly honest worked much better than gifts I think. We wouldn't have had a relationship if I hadn't shared all of my secrets with her.
Oh, don't buy someone gifts to get them to like you, that is a very bad idea. Only buy the gifts if you really feel the need to do so because otherwise you are misrepresenting yourself. The same goes with being honest in general. Lies create emotional connections where there shouldn't be ones and in most cases they will be discovered which will completely destroy a relationship as trust is the most important aspect of a relationship.
@locketine@xanga - money has no worth to me. but maybe it is just i've never been in a relationship like yours... :/ lucky man :)
thanks again :)
@lenybobsyouruncle@xanga - haha, thanks. I guess I was lucky, but now I'm jobless and she just got married :(. Realistically, the expense of the gift wasn't nearly as important as what the gift was. I think we came out even in that regard.
It's always nice to find someone who's gone through the exact same experience even if the outcome was different. Thanks for reminiscing with me :).
My dear, the line isn't between sex and emotion...it's between love and lust. The question is when is love love and when is love lust. Part of love is giving your all and part of lust is giving your all, just in a different way. That is the line you have to becarful crossing. Sex and emotions are two things that interwine there is no lines between them.
OK BYE!
I MET THIS GUY FOUR YEARS AGO... AND I'M STILL INFATUATED WITH HIM... AND WE AREN'T EVEN TOGETHER! SAD I KNOW! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I AM THOUGH!
@CrAdLe2daGrAve@xanga - nice rhymes and caps lock. is it the same type of emotional infatuation? well even if not, sry to hear it. feeling caring for someone one way is tough.
@locketine@xanga - "it only, takes an instant, to be loved, a whole life long". it kinda sucks that she moved on, but if the memories were good, and least you can remember those. :D
and np, i've never met someone who really shared any important opinions besides that chick :/ so it is refreshing to know that, while i may be different in most respects, that there is the occasional similarity and that maybe i have such similarities with other people.
I was telling my boyfriend yesterday, "Sometimes I want sex to hurt me because it would make me feel less selfish." It's true though...I'd rather him feel good than me. *Shrugs*