Tuesday, 10 November 2009
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Love at First Sight: Nature or Nurture?
Cupid’s slogan: “LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT”.
Cute I must admit, but total bulldust. (Well, of course this only my perspective and how I view the progression of love. Anyone can beg to differ.) I never understand how people can say “I knew it was him or her the moment I saw them” or “I just knew it”. I honestly cannot fathom going out (by that I mean going into a exclusive relationship) with someone when you do not know anything about. Except for maybe their first and last name..and oh that they enjoy lemon and pepper tuna because that was the section of the grocery store you met. Meeting for less than a week, jumping into a relationship because it just felt ..right. Is right good enough to last?
Maybe I think too much, maybe I don’t trust enough, maybe my faith in over romanticized concepts are just not matured enough, who knows? To me, that isn’t love at first sight, but rather lust at first sight. There is a slight difference between falling in love with someone's internal and external beauty that develops ONLY after interacting with them over a period of time and having instant “connection” with their silky long hair, structured jawline, or how nice their body curves looks in that black skinny jeans.
Some people will argue and say that “every relationship has to start somewhere. Although the first reasons the relationship started may be because of looks, it can eventually end up to true love. Plus a relationship will allow me to get to know the person better.” In this case it is nature, then nurture. Whilst others would say “I would like to get to know that person first before starting a relationship with them. We can always be friends first. I think this really allows me to know the person i am with”- in this case, it is nurture then nature.
I was watching a TV program a couple of days ago. The chat show was interviewing an actress’s view on relationships. She commented “It usually only takes me 7 days to figure out whether I would like to go out with someone. If I wanted something to happen, it would happen during that 7days, if not that person will just be a friend to me” So basically, she is saying that 7 days is all it takes for chemistry to work it’s magic, after that the relationship then reaches the friend zone.
Do you agree? Which way do you reckon is more applicable? Will you get into a relationship with someone you know for less than 7 days? Is it the nature of love or the nurture of behavior and habits? Share your thoughts
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Comments (19)
I wrote a post on this that sums up my feelings: http://whitetrashpoet.xanga.com/715764233/love-at-first-sight/
I think it's definitely nature. So many of our actions are dictated by the chemicals in our brain that we think we have control over, but actually don't.
This article shows how science actually dictates who we like, how long we like them for and why we may not like them after the honeymoon stage is over. http://bit.ly/3qSruB
It's so interesting that us "losing interest" in someone doesn't mean anything more than certain chemicals coming into play.
I do not believe in love at first sight, because you can't love someone without knowing their personality.
I do believe in lust at first sight though..
@gracefulmelody@xanga - Took the words right out of my mouth. Love requires an adequate amount of time and is a real commitment, not just feelings. What most people refer to as "love at first sight" is either lust or just the goopy, aw-shucks feelings they get when they see someone they're attracted to, not to be confused with real love.
I wouldn't think seven days would be enough. The quickest relationship that started between me and someone was less than one day, and it was just a waste of time. Should have at least waited to see more. It's like a 50 shot. 50 that something may spark, and 50 nothing love wise will occur.
i think our first impressions form after seven days; and that determines either our stupidity or our intelligence in absorbing the matter of the person.
i dont believe in love at first sight either. we humans complicate the idea of love. nature created us to hump whoever we thought would make the prettiest babies ;) it's evolution in'it!
I agree with you, lol. I think the smarter choice would be nurture then nature. I HAVE gotten into a relationship with someone I knew for less than a week. It started like a wildfire, and died nearly as quickly.
That's not nurture then nature.. That's nature then lack of trust and then nurture. You lust, but you keep a distance, become friends, and then act on the lust.
cupid is so full of it. i dont believe theres such a thing as "LOVE at first sight", it should be "LUST at first sight".
I see what she means - within 7 days I know if I'm sexually attracted to the guy or not. I don't know if things will work out between us, but I know if I want to try or not.
I dont believe at love at first sight but for me its more of like hmmm theres something different about this person. I think Im going to know him for a while...and poof it happens
There's definitely lust at first sight, I know that first hand. Love at first sight? I don't believe it.
there was a blog about this already. and it had many successful "love at first sight" stories. my relationship with my boyfriend...when i first saw him we became attracted to each other. we've been together for a year and 3 months now. we can each see a future with eachother.
also, the love between a mother and child is love at first sight. why is it so hard to believe that love at first sight can exist between another pair of strangers?
I got into a relatioship thataway that lasted 3 years, its keeping it that matters. She was smokin' hot with all the physical qualities i was seeking, we made eye contact, blah blah blah... Three years later it all went to hell. It was still fun and i dont regret any of it.
I think for some people it is love at first sight, for the majority: bullshit...
Anyone who I dated after knowing them for less than a week never lasted more than...a week. haha. The guy I'm dating I meant and got to know him four months prior to going exclusive.
I was unsure about the guy I was just dating on account of me feeling like he might like a friend of mine but we made a connection and the connection continued. I got attached way too soon and it ended but I think a lot of people mistake a connection for that "the one" feeling.
Getting into a serious relationship with someone you barely know is not only naive but dangerous. Who knows what kind of person they may be?
To me, love at first sight is just fantasy. But, that's just me. :p
Nature is 100% biological and nurture is 100% learned. Sexual attraction is made up of both biological and learned traits, even at first sight. We instinctively like people who look like people we've liked before. Sure, that's some biological programming flipping a switch but your memory is playing a large role in that process so it's not 100% biological. Lust at first sight is not nature exclusively. We also have no idea how much of what we consider beauty is also learned. It could all be learned.
People like to refer to it as love at first sight simply because it can and does lead to true love on occasion (their occasion) but we really shouldn't let the lust take over because I think only a rare case leads to lasting love. I experienced it but my gf did not share that love so I'm left a heartbroken man, even after over a year apart.