Tuesday, 10 November 2009
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An International Affair to Remember
So this is my situation.
I met this really awesome man about 5 months ago. We hit it off (with no intention of getting into each other's pants) and almost immediately he asked me to go on a month's overseas vacation with him. The whole trip and time spent together we did not care about other people, we were totally comfortable with each other and in our own "bubble". I've never felt this kind of intense connection / chemistry with any other man before (granted, I've had several serious relationships and have also dated casually in all my 23 years of existence.)
Here's the problem:
We live in two different countries, opposite ends of the world. And I really think he is my idea of the type of man I would marry.
We still maintain close, regular contact and he initiates chatting to me (since hes always on as "appear offline") Although he's never initiated a relationship but he regularly says he misses me and calls me intimate names. He travels ALOT but he told me that he's never felt so comfortable with a female before.
I find myself thinking about him whenever I am feeling down, and can actually picture myself with him say 5 or 10 years down the line.. am I insane??? What really is his purpose?
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Comments (19)
well, it's romantic and all, but realistically, how will you guys ever be together if you live so far away? will one of you be willing to pack up and move to another country?
I have been in this (almost) exact situation. It's really heartbreaking (and frustrating, and confusing). You're definitely not insane for feeling this way, but you have to make sure the two of you are on the same page. Also remember that it's easy to form an intense bond when you're on vacation and not weighed down by other worries that affect couples day to day.
With that said, I really feel for you. I guess the only way it could work is if one of you moves to where the other is living. My guy and I still maintain contact but it just wasn't feasible for us. And I found someone just as great where I live. Good luck!
Maybe you should ask him.
Far far away doesn't matter, you can most definitely still be together. It's like any relationship, you have to communicate and decide if you have a future together. It's especially important to figure this out NOW. So seriously, you need to talk to him.
i think that u should have that conversation with him to see if there is anything that will come of it. If not, then you are setting yourself up for major heartache. If he is the awesome person that you are portraying him to be then the both of you will make it work. Distance is only a small factor and frequent flyer miles can take care of that.
Does he have any plans of settling with you?
Fricken' follow him around the world.
Traveling is fun, especially with a man you love!
Very romantic, but please take into consideration that it won't always be just you two alone. There are your families to consider. Do you know and like each other's families? There are also your cultures to consider. Do you understand and accept each other's cultures well enough to fit in without feeling as though you've lost something dear? What holidays, traditions, styles, freedoms, habits, ect. are you willing to surrender where they don't happen to coincide? And which of your two nations will you give up in order to live in the other? Loss of many of these things can turn your love for each other into resentment and anger. You need to be very, very cautious about jumping the broom together... far more cautious with someone of a different culture than with someone of the same.
maybe you should ask him how he feels for you. then start from there.
Yous could still make something work. I was in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years. My boyfriend just moved to my state so we get to see each other so much more now. Time apart is rough, but as long as yous have plans of eventually being together (whether it be him moving, or you) I think it's worth the wait if you really care about each other. Good luck with it all.
You're not insane but it feels like you are very... infatuated?? with him... maybe to a point of not seeing clearly.
If you don't know his purpose ask him.
Wonder why he can't find a girl in his own country... its hard to do a background check on someone who doesn't live in the same country to find out either.
Ask him and see how he feels about you. Does he have any intentions of moving in with you or you doing the same with him?
Communicate directly with him. This is I'm sure quite torturous going on like this for such an extended period of time...because you don't know how he is feeling about all this, yall are not moving forward into something deeper nor falling away from something that isn't going to happen.
I have a friend in my class currently that is married to a woman she met.
He's and Englishman and she met him while she was studying abroad in London for a year, they fell in love. He took the initiative to come to the US to marry her, went back to the UK, signed for Dual Citizenship..now he lives here in the US with his wife. All I'm saying is that IF his intentions are true love for you, he will take the intitiative to make it happen that you two are together...maybe not marriage so soon, but if he wants to be with you, sea nor sand nor storm shall keep you two apart ( I just thought of that..and I really like it lol) so don't lose hope..just keep talking to him and see how it goes...oh..and..ask him if he'd be willing to at least visit your country for a bit? since he travels often..is shouldn't be a big deal yea?
@Ampbreia@xanga - I completely agreed with this.
Directly communicate with him and get a glimpse of where you two stand in this "relationship" that you two share. With a clearer viewer of your situation, you can then start to consider everything.
why dont you just ask him what his purpose is?
It sounds like he's interested, but you'd just have to ask him to know for sure. :p
There's nothing wrong with starting a relationship, but this is quite a long distance relationship, and many closer long distance relationships don't work out. There's no harm in trying, but it might be more prudent to try to get geographically closer if you want it to have a better chance of working out. Even the best relationships sometimes don't work out long distance. :(
But, it sounds like you two have some great chemistry and it would be a shame to just totally pass it up.
I would say totally go for it. If you dont you might one day regret it thats how I see it. =) Im sorta somewhat in the same situation...I've been in a long distance relationship since September 18, 2006 (thats when we offically decided). I've been talking to him online since I was 13ish till now and Im 17. I live in Michigan, US and he lives in Auckland, NZ, total opposite sides of the world XD and I plan on going over there hopefully once Im done with school this year for awhile.
Just talk to him and ask him where he sees this going and if he really wants what you want. Especially with things like this you have to learn to communicate and talk things out thoroughly.
Annnd thats all I can think of saying...But I say its worth the risk. Could be the best thing you ever do in your life you never know till you just go for it.