Monday, 09 November 2009

• Tips for Discovering What He Wants

  Ok, so my latest Datingish contribution listed some generalities of what you should NOT buy a man as a gift. I received numerous responses saying, “Thanks..but...now what do I do??” Well fear not as I've come up with a flowchart / antilogarithm of sorts to assist you in determining what he DOES want you to buy.

  
  

  Step 1: Ask him.
  
  Men aren't like women, the direct approach is faster, better, and will actually get you bonus points. From a woman's perspective, if a man asks her “what do you want” the reaction tends to be “What, you don't know!? You don't love me after all!!” etc. But when a woman asks a man what he wants the reaction is the opposite, “What, you actually want to know what I want? You love me after all!”. It won't hurt and he'll love you for it. If he knows what he wants, move on to Step 7.

  If he doesn't know, you'll have to figure it out for him, on to Step 2.
  

  
  

  Step 2: List his interests.

  You're the one dating him. You're the one talking to him, hanging out with him, etc. If you're buying a man a gift you should already know what his general interests are. If you're not sure, go to Step 3. If you know his interests, list them and go to Step 4.

  Step 3: Discover his interests.

  Ok, you should already know these, but maybe the relationship is new. The best way to discover his interests is to engage him in conversation. You should already know what 'type' of guy he is. Is he a jock, nerd, geek, etc. Based on his 'type' you can start a conversation that may help figure out his interests. If he's a jock, what sports does he like. Does he currently participate in any of them recreationally. Does he watch them, cheer for a particular team etc. If he's a nerd, what sort of nerd is he? A gaming nerd? A knowledge nerd? An electronics nerd? Find out by asking. (hint: Nerds are the easiest to buy for really...just go to “ThinkGeek” and there's tons of stuff there for all types of nerds). Assuming you now know his interests, go back to Step 2.

  
  

  Does he look like he needs "athletic socks" ??
  

  Step 4: Match his interests with purchasable items

  This is definitely the hard part. Your man may have certain interests that you'd love to buy him something for, but what if money is an issue? What if there aren't items to buy? Etc. This is where “it's the thought that counts” comes into play, because you have to really think. Do some Google searches, eBay searches, Amazon, and the like. If you can find something that matches his interests, go to Step 7. If not, go to Step 5.

  
  

  This type of homemade 'card' isn't going to get any points for creativity
  

  
  Step 5: Identifying the gift
  
  If you already know his interests, but aren't sure what to buy there a number of clever things you can do.

  First, if you watch TV together pay attention to how he reacts to ads. Which ads peak his interests, which ads make him say “Cool” and of course, which ads make him react negatively.

  Second; flyers are your friend. Starting in November most companies start pushing fliers quite heavily. If you've got time, look at the fliers together. While you're pretending to read yours, pay attention to which ad he picks up first. That usually will be the area of greatest interest. Try to notice what gets the majority of his attention.

  Third; go with him to the mall and make up an excuse to why you need to go into a store that matches his interest. Ask for his help finding a gift for your dad, uncle, brother, etc. You'll probably find out what he thinks is cool just by how he helps you.

  If you've discovered what he likes, make the purchase and go to Step 7, otherwise go to Step 6.

  
  

  Homemade is good, as long as it makes sense. A canister of potpourri that has a light-bulb in it, will get the wtf look everytime.
  

  Step 6: Making your own gift.

  Again, it's important to re-iterate, that it really is the thought that counts. If you've gone through all of these steps and you either can't find a gift within your price range, or your man's tastes are too unique to buy for, or your man “has everything” it's time to make your own gift.

  What do you do? Who knows, this is dependent on your man and his interests again (see Step 3). Try to get your creative juices to flow. If you can't get them to flow, try visiting an art store and tell them what you're trying to do, maybe they could help. Don't worry if you're not a Martha Stewart clone. When it comes to a self-made, creative, and unique gift it's the quality of the thought that is most important. (hint: you can greatly increase the effectiveness of any homemade gift though by creative packaging.) Onto Step 7.

  
  

  It's a gingerbread tie-fighter omfgbaconbits! joygasm!
  

  
  
  Step 7: Your almost there!

  By now you've either purchased a gift or made your own. Congrats! The next step is packaging, and it's entirely optional. If you don't have the time or it's not important to you, wrap the gift 'normally' and on to Step 8, otherwise continue here.

  Creative packaging is important because it shows that you took the time to care about even the small details. Even if the gift inside misses the mark, the fact that you took the time to package it nicely won't be missed by your man and you'll be rewarded regardless if the gift turns out to be tighty whities when he actually wanted a pair of boxers. 

  Ideas for packaging:
  

  Disguise a sports / electronic gift as a book. For example; I once gave a gift to my younger brother where the box was disguised as a book. It was weighed down with hockey pucks, and I wrapped it so the cardboard looked like a hardcover book. Once the first layer of xmas paper was removed, he was greeted by a cartoonish “War & Peace” cover. Inside was a collection of Bob Marley cd's I knew he wanted.

  Package a geek/nerd gift in a box dolled up to look like a giant classic Nintendo controller.

  
  

  There are many other ideas like this....just let your brain loose and get creative!

  Step 8: Give the gift

  So you've bought a gift, packaged it, and you're ready to give it. If you've reached this step you've put a lot of thought into the gift you're giving and that will be obvious to your man. Congrats on a job well done!

  
  

  I hope this helps..and good luck !!

  Feel free to add your own creative packaging ideas, as well as creative ways to determine what he wants.

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