Monday, 09 November 2009

  • The Grey's Effect



    Grey's Anatomy
    has been a TV mainstay for many women (and, by proxy, their boyfriends) since its debut in 2005. Over the course of six seasons, we've seen the characters have one night stands, hook-ups, break-ups, get pregnant, go on man-fasts, fall in love with patients and each other.

    Main character Meredith started the show off by inadvertently sleeping with her boss. Now, the on-and-off couple are united in marriage by a Post-It note. Cancer patient Izzie had planned a wedding for the McDreamy couple, but instead Izzie and Alex got married. George married Callie but got a divorce, and Callie turned out to be a lesbian anyway. Cristina reluctantly agreed to a marriage proposal by Dr. Burke, only to be left at the altar, leaving Meredith to break the news to the guests and shattering her already fragile view on marriage.

    I'm sure that the cycle of sleeping with co-workers is old hat (friends who work in a hospital assure me that it happens just like it's portrayed) and I know that relationship repeats are the bane of many women's existences. A fallacy that I think the show reinforces, though, is that if we give a man time to date someone else or go back to their wives, if we are sufficiently broody and angsty, that the men will come back to us again and again.

    I hate to get into He's Just Not That Into You territory, but McDreamys like Derek don't exist. (If they did, they wouldn't put us through all the waiting and heartbreak, anyway.) If you're in a relationship cycle where he's constantly leaving you and coming back, he's using you. His feelings aren't at stake, but yours are, and it's up to you to stop the cycle.

    Have you ever had to break up a relationship with someone you thought you loved while they continuously used you? What do you think of the show's message that with enough time and persistence you can work any relationship out?

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