Sunday, 08 November 2009
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What's Considered a Normal, Angry Reaction?
The other morning, my boyfriend and I were working alongside each other at a meeting for our school newspaper. He was getting frustrated about a couple things, and basically got bitchy, snappy and took his irritations out on me.
I was so angry that when he touched my shoulder, the only thing that went through my head was "Don't touch me." I didn't say it out loud, nor did I reply to whatever he was saying to me.
Have you ever been able to hear your own voice in your head? When this thought jumped up, I could hear my own voice, and it sounded pretty cold.
Later, when I had calmed down, all I could think of was how my mind reacted to the situation. I didn't want him to touch me? Really? Since when has his touch ever been a bad thing?
I felt guilty, and confused. I'm still not sure if this kind of reaction means something serious.
Our relationship's fine, and everything's all well and good, but I just can't seem to shake this uneasiness.
Have you ever felt guilty about the way you reacted to something when you were upset? Have you thought something worse than this during a non-serious spat with your S.O.? What's the worst thing you've ever thought when you were upset/ angry, and how did things turn out afterward?
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- From: Keeping__Karma@xanga
- Name: K-L
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Comments (35)
I know how you feel. Just the other day my husband was just playing around with me, but for some reason it came across as extreemly annoying, I ended up bursting and completely yelling at him. Like five seconds later I told him that I was sorry, because I knew how unreasonable I was being, lol.
Also, I'm pregnant...haha. So that might have something to do with my reaction. Us women are funny sometimes with our hormones.
Couldn't tell ya. I'd say every relationship I've ever been in was unhealthy.
i don't see the harm in wanting to slap your boyfriend in the face (IN YOUR HEAD) once in a while. it's healthy to fight.. i don't know any couple that doesn't.
anyways, as a guy, when i get mad, i need space. that means, get away before i go all hulk on you ;p
As long as it doesn't become something worse physically, emotionally, or psychological (i.e. abuse), I find it to be OK or normal. It's normal to argue and get angry in a relationship.
I think as long as you know it was just an "in the moment" thing, it's okay. I mean, it's not like to tell your boyfriend he's a worthless piece of shit because you got in a little fight, but we all have mean, uncontrollable thoughts once in a while. It's not like it's permanently true, right? Don't worry too much about it unless you find yourself thinking like that even when you're not very emotional.
I've never actually gotten so mad at my ex during our relationship that I wanted to do/say something mean to him. The last time I saw him, I found out about some extremely inappropriate things that he said to his best female "friend" that bordered on being adulterous, and I felt so disgusted with him that when he touched me I flinched and slapped pushed his hand away, all the while screaming for him to get away from me.
it's normal. i love when my boyfriend touches me but when i get really angry at him/things sometimes he tries to get me to look at him or something and it's just like 'don't touch me.' really cold and everything. it's not that you mean 'don't touch me ANYMORE i don't like you etc etc' it's just a temporary desire to not be touched by another. you'd probably say it to your friend or mom or anyone else who tried to touch you at that moment.
I don't think you should feel guilty. You just didn't want him to touch you at that instant because you were angry. I think it's a perfectly normal reaction. Now, holding a grudge and feeling that way long after the fight is totally different.
I once got into a huge argument with an ex after an incident where he had pissed me off through fault of his own. He started to apologize by acting like a puppy and latching on. I told him to get away, that I needed space. He didn't listen. After his numerous attemps paired with my escalating anger, the next words out of my mouth was "Fuck off"... I said it instead of thinking it. He completely did a Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde act by blowing up on me, kicking things around me, frightening our dog.. everything but actually hitting me, all because I told him "fuck off". It opened my eyes to the type of person he really was. Needless to say, I moved on and haven't looked back since.
Men built rockets to reach the moon but we still cannot solve the puzzle that is women xD
ahem sorry wasn't trying offend anyone :p just felt the mood for the joke was right, and I know lots of people take stuff too seriously over the internet and will start flaming >.<;;
I think that's a normal thought to have when you're mad at someone. I highly doubt it means anything serious.
I hate to be touched when I am mad. Sometimes I am irritated about something else and I will shake off someone's touch, just because I am irritated in general. I'd say that I've probably thought worse things than, "Don't touch me" when I've been mad about something.
i can understand that reaction. sometimes your significant other does something so despicable that you can't help but be repulsed by them.
the other day i got mad at my boyfriend for something. i was in the back of his car while his friend was in the driver's seat. i was waiting for my boyfriend to get in the car so i could go home but he didn't move so i said "fine i'll find my own way home." i told him to move but he didn't. so i yelled "MOVE" and really, the voice i heard that came out of my mouth sounded demonic. i've never yelled at my boyfriend and i regret it. :/
thankfully, we worked everything out :)
I've snapped out loud to my boyfriend before. It's just the process of irritation xD.
It does kind of suck though. Because afterward I feel like a raging hormone.
You're being too hard on yourself. This wasn't that bad of a reaction. You didn't freak out on him. You should of told him that he was being rude to you, and taking all of his anger out on you. Don't feel guilty. You were just mad.
@silentwhim@xanga - Lol that joke really doesn't make sense in this situation.
It's just working on a newspaper. I did with my bf and I would really start to abuse him... I geel so bad about that but something about working with him made me angry back then
it doesn't seem that serious; rather understandable. but also immature. i can see how you probably wanted to get away from him because he was being a jerk, but you could easily have walked away and come back to talk about it calmly.
normal...i think. you just got annoyed and frustrated.
It would of been different if you burst and yelled it out loud.
hey everyone have mean thoughts when they are upset with there SO its normal, natural. so dont feel so bad. If it makes u feel better why dont you confess to your boyfriend that u had that thought and ur sorry for having the thought. maybe that will make u feel somewhat at ease.
You were angry, when you're angry you usually wouldn't want anyone to touch you let alone the person who got you angry in the first place. Doesn't mean anything. Now if he touches you when you're happy and you feel disgusted and have the same thoughts in your head...then there's something wrong.
It's a "normal" reaction. When you're angry or upset, you just want to be alone and that's okay.If it really bothers you, you can explain that feeling to your significant other when you cool down. Sometimes talking about it with your significant other can help the both of you to understand each others' emotional responses if it does happen again.
You're fine, especially considering how he was behaving towards you. I probably wouldn't have just brushed it off as you did, so that's already saying a lot about you. :) I think--given the same situation--many would have a similar reaction to your own. You said your relationship is fine and everything, so just try to move on & forwards from this. TC.
thats not so bad. It happens. He was being a duece...