Sunday, 08 November 2009
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"He's Like My Brother"
I went to watch meteor shower with a very good friend of mine last week. Originally we invited my other girl friend and his girlfriend to join us. Our friend ended up unable to make it and his girlfriend chose not to come. She thought that was a crazy idea to stay up all night to watch meteor showers.
As I was sharing my story with my friends, instead of focusing on the details of the experiences, most of them question me whether this is an appropriate behavior or if I am romantically involved with the person. The friend I went with is a great buddy of mine. We seriously treated each other like family members. I did not sense anything romantic that night except it was a beautiful night with plenty of stars in the clear sky.
Is it really wrong to do this even if the two of us are just friends?
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- From: hysteric_panda@xanga
- Name: hysteric_panda
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 1227 Comments: 0 43 View all posts by hysteric_panda@xanga
Comments (43)
well.. depends really
people seeem to view things different ways.
some people might think this was a lame excuse to hide a romantic situation while others can just see it as two friends hanging out.
it also depends on other things like if or him has a bf/gf then that woud look like a nono
I don't see how it's possible to see a meteor shower as "just friends". It's an obvious couple thing to do. Your friends are right. And as you said, you treated each other "like family members". I can already foresee that you'll be married within the year.
All because of a meteor shower.
If you guys are just friends then who cares? Its all good, anyone reading too much into it should probably just chill out anyway. I think the only thing I would be worried about is how his girlfriend felt about it, her's is really the only opinion that matters.
Everybody wants to see a meteor shower, so why not see it whenever you want to? You can still be like brothers, as long as you keep your head away from his chest.
i had a just like my brother friend. then he turned out to be gay. made so much sense. hahaha.
If you lead him on, I'm going to triple slap you with a fresh living trout.
Make sure you don't, 'cause I would never do that with "just a sister".
@GreedoCH@xanga - Haha, I was about to get angry, and then the sarcasm caught up to me. D'oh.
As long as you, him, and his girlfriend are cool with it, then it's fine.
It's fine, although every girl who has ever thought of me as a brother figure has also eventually come to be romantically attached to me as well. So whenever I hear the brother thing I rarely believe it heh.
@JusticeCho@xanga - that's kind of true. My best guy/"like a brother friend" ended up being my finacee years ago...but then I dumped him.
nice to have a friend like that.
Not at all! It's fine.
Why wouldn't it be fine? Even if you're both harboring secret feelings for each other, I don't see why it wouldn't be okay to watch a meteor shower. They're fun to watch.
yes to the insecure and no to the confident ;)
No. I do lots of things that would seem romantic to friends of mine. Screw what anyone else thinks, it's how I treat my friends.
- Kunoichi
That would depend on the boundaries of the girlfriend and her man. What is SHE comfortable with?
If you were in a relationship and couldn't go with your boyfriend, would you want him staying up all night watching the stars with another girl, even if they claim to be "Just really close friends"? If you're anything like most women... it's not likely.
If it were me, and I chose not to go, I'd think my boyfriend would want to stay home with me instead of going out with his "friend". I'd be pissed.
But... it's not wrong. Just find out what the girlfriend's boundaries are, and respect and maintain them, and you'll be fine. If she and/or he doesn't have any problems with what happened, why should you? Ignore what everyone else says... BUT if she does, consider her feelings? How would you like to be treated if the situation were reversed, Honestly?
@JusticeCho@xanga - Yeah, it's amazing the way that that works. I think it's hard, though not impossible, to maintain a "just friends" relationship with a member of the opposite sex. Feelings can grow when you let someone inside your walls.
Friends can get in long before dates, usually.
If you don't want him, can I have him? ;) j/k
It's not wrong. Don't let your friends put you in a situation they think is romantic when you don't think it is. I go out with my guy friends one on one all the time. My boyfriend's cool with it cuz he's not an insecure prick. I'm also a faithful girlfriend so we barely have trust issues. As long as you guys don't make it into a date and hold hands and whatnot, I don't see anything wrong with it.
I would say it's a bit sketchy. Although both of you felt it was nothing more than a friendly outing, you know how critical some people can be. And, to be frank, I'd probably be just as questionable to your intentions of that night as your friends were. However, my opinion nor any others' does not matter; the one that DOES is your friend's girlfriend's. Regardless of how close you are to him, you need to be more careful with your taken man-friends - drama is so easily ignited nowadays.
Whenever any of my "brothers" are in relationships, I back off a little. I've known the guys for years, chances are their girlfriends haven't, and they need a chance to establish some trust.
When I'm in a relationship, I don't think I'll be very comfortable with a guy doing things with his "sister", not until I know her really well, and maybe not even then.
So yeah, I just avoid the drama. The guys know that if they need me, or need to talk, or need some advice on what the heck this girl is thinkin', that I'm a phone call/email/facebook message/chat away. But they also know that I think that girl should be more important to them than I am.
...unless she's evil, manipulative, and conniving. Then they know that I'll kill her if they say the word.
no. i mean i have a guy friend who seriously consider me as his little sister, and him as my brother. we'd do so much together, but we're JUST friends. and i can't imagine it any other way o.O
It's sort of weird, i'm also in a similar situation
but we haven't gone to anything such as a "meteor shower"
it can be quite confusing, hahaha don't get me started
about the friends as well lol they don't help much
either do they!
I have a friend like that and we're in the same boat... It's me and him and we're like bro and sis- no sparks flying between us whatsoever. I think as long as you're not going to talk about it to everyone after the fact it's OK. Not saying you HAVE to keep it a secret, but it might be for the best so that rumors don't get around because different people think different things, you know? But hey, if you are both treating each other like you would a brother or sister then when you two are alone it's not like you're meaning anything by it, so it's all good. :)
Just a warning though, keep in mind if he has a girlfriend not to do stuff like that too often and make sure the other girl involved knows what's going on and even hangs out with you guys too, otherwise that could end up being a super sticky situation.
I have a guy friend I go watch meteor showers with. He is literally half my age. Not like a brother at all...lol.
Here is reality, if we spend time with people who we really dig, and who dig the same things as us. sometimes more than brotherly/sisterly/friend feelings will develop. There is always that chance, doesn't mean we should never spend time with anyone who we may potentially develop feelings for. It's simply not possible.
what is possible is to be honest with ourselves and those around us about how we do feel, and for us to make decisions based on that honesty.
That's the best any of us can do.
My best friend is a guy and we have been like brother and sister for almost 10 years now! He's married and has a baby on the way and his wife and I are super close as well. (She had a hard time at first with our relationship, but then she realized there was nothing there) Whenever I go to visit them, it seems like the wife is always at work and we just chill at his house by ourselves. We get weird comments from our parents, but honestly, if there are no feelings other than the love you would feel for a sibling. it is totally cool to be with him. ...but like others have said, make sure it's ok with the girlfriend.