"Dating" is a term that has changed drastically over the years. In our grandparents generation, it had arisen as a somewhat new phenomenon where it replaced practices like pre-arranged marriages. Frequently the dates would take place in a group, overseen by parents.
In the 1970's, dating became a little more reminiscent of what it's become: the idea of free love allowed for a lot more hooking up and hanging out in groups, much less formal than it had previously been. Especially with things like key parties and swingers clubs, even couples in stable relationships were bucking the standards.
In the 80's and 90's, the first types of video dating systems were introduced, eventually leading to online dating sites like eHarmony and match.com. A resurgence of feminism caused many women to find traditionally chivalrous moves like a man holding a door for them sexist.
Somewhere along there, though, "dating" lost its meaning. I mean, I've been in relationships with guys before even having been on a formal date with them. In a case like that, are you in a relationship, but not dating? What counts as a date, anyway? If we go to lunch but pay separately, or is it a date if one of us treats the other? Can it be considered a date for a couple if you go to a concert with a big group of people? Can you only "date" one person at a time?
What is dating, anyway?
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Comments (15)
Interesting blog, wonder what kind of answers you will get.
Hahaha, I like this post! I think a lot of us wonder the same thing.
It really has changed so much over the years, that now it's a term that's so casual it doesn't have a true meaning.
In my opinion, "dating" basically means everything you do with someone before you're in an actual relationship. Hanging out together with friends or just the two of you. And I think you can "date" multiple people at once, as long as you're not in any way exclusive with anyone else, and as long as the people you're dating know that.
Dating, in my opinion, is getting to know someone that you like that could potentially lead to a relationship. I think the difference between say "dating" verses friendship is the emotions you feel are different for a friend than someone you are dating. In addition, you may spend much more one-on-one time with a person that you date verses a friend. This one-on-one time is usually in public places so that each person can feel comfortable around each other. Examples include restaurants, move theaters, coffee shops, and so forth. However, it doesn't always have to be. You can hang out at the other person's place if he/she doesn't have the money to take you somewhere.
When it becomes exclusive (meaning you know you want to have a relationship with that person and no one else), it becomes a relationship. Oftentimes, people use the phrase "we're dating" when they are exclusively seeing someone. I think the reason why is b/c there's no point in bragging about someone you're dating unless they are going to be with you for awhile.
hahahaha My boyfriend and I never dated before we got together. We go out together all the time but it feels more like hanging out than dating to me. Does dating even exist anymore? LOL
i think dating is just going out and having a good time with someone you're interested in. i don't think dating is restricted to just one person. i think you can date around, see what's out there. once you figure out what you want, or who you want, you can settle down and start going steady.
@Agent_Spanky@xanga -It depends on how you define dating. A lot of people like to think of dating as being formally asked out on a date to see a movie or eat somewhere. Others see it as just hanging out with someone you like more than just a friend. I define it as a combination of both
@lot223@xanga - I agree.
I've never been on a date, but you could say I've been in at least 3 relationships. I don't really understand the dating thing. It's supposed to be when you get to know someone I think. Also I don't understand how girls get pissed off when I hold a door open for them. How is that demeaning to women? It's not like I'm only holding it open for women, if a guy comes by I'm going to hold it for him too...jeez extreme feminists are crazy heh.
A date is 1 on 1, and the gentleman pays. If you're in a relationship with someone and date them, it is both, and I would call it courting.
If you go to a concert with a big group of people, and you and your "date" both know you are there with the other person even in the company of these other people, I would consider that a date as well.
Just my thoughts.
@JusticeCho@xanga - Girls SHOULDN'T get mad about that, uber feminists believe that it's demeaning because of a *nonexistant* presupposition that a girl is incapable or too delicate to do it themselves. In recent years most of these women have come to realize that it's an inequity we can live with and that it's making it so men don't want to hold open doors for us. Most have stopped this practice, and I won't date someone that won't hold my door open for me.
@MistressAislin@xanga - Yeah I guess I did know the reason, I just can't understand how they could feel that way. When I was younger I used to get yelled at a looooooot for doing it. Nowadays I only get looked at funnily maybe once a week. It's improvement at least heh.
@JusticeCho@xanga - A very good and vast improvement, and good job for keeping it up through the shouting.
We're forgetting the oddity of double dating too. But seriously, sometimes a date and hanging out can mostly be the same except that the intentions are romantic.
Thats always a question to me. I think dating is the process of getting to know each other. like u go out with this one significant and hang out, eat ,watch movie etc..
But dating does not equal to boyfriend and girlfriend. Relationship is when u really say boyfriend and girlfriend.that is whats in my mind.~Dating is just hanging out, just with both of you harboring potential feelings for each other on a quest to discover the true meaning of your feelings for each other.
I was wondering this too. I asked some family and friends about this. They said that if you are dating it means that you are seeing more than one person or you may be seeing one person but are free to see other ppl. If you are only seeing that person and that person is only seeing you then you are boyfriend and girlfriend. You are in a relationship. But I think I have to disagree with them. I think it all depends on what you and the guy think or you and girl think and have talked about. To me dating is like the getting to know a person time and when feelings may be starting to show up. If I am going to date someone then I will only see that person and nobody else until I figure out how I feel. When more permanent more serious feelings develop and you cant see wanting to see what else is out there and your not interested in anyone else and neither is that person then one of you asks the other to be their bf or gf. And you start a relationship. You can take things slow still too everything doesnt have to be fast forward if you decide to move on from just dating and to be in a relationship. So happy found this post. Thanks for posting and thank you to everyone who has posted.