Thursday, 05 November 2009
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Getting the Milk for Free
"Nobody will buy the cow, if they get the milk for free."
In Sunday School, I was warned about having sex before marriage, and I even decided that waiting was the way to go. I waited until I was sixteen before I changed my mind.
In retrospect, I don't think I was ready. I don't know if I would say I wasn't old enough, but I can recognize now that I wasn't ready. I wasn't able to enjoy it, because I had to balance pleasure with fear and guilt. I lied to my parents and the potential for unborn babies was really stressful.
I don't know when I would have done it, if I hadn't done it when I was sixteen. The act, however, put me on a ride that is impossible to exit. I've grown a lot since then and have learned to embrace and enjoy the act of looooove making.
What do you think is an appropriate age/time to begin having sex and why?
As I abandoned my fears and church guilt, sex became more and more enjoyable. It's so incredible that I don't think it's appropriate to wait until you are married. Those who choose to wait deprive themselves of incredible euphoria and even risk marrying (forever) a bad lover. Or worse, they risk being the bad lover by waiting.
I have decided not to wait. And, I have decided to not-to-wait all of my significant others. The problem I have now, since this is a relatively recent decision, is that I don't have enough experience to know when it's appropriate to start canoodling with a significant other.
Do we need to go on more than one, two, or three dates? Do we even have to be dating? Can I go to first base and head straight back to home or do we need to follow the progression the first time?
How long do you think it is appropriate to wait before becoming intimate with a significant other?
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About the Author
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- From: pandoratheexplorer@xanga
- Name: Pandora
- About Me: Making sense of the nonsensical
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 4 Views: 0 13947 Comments: 0 173 View all posts by pandoratheexplorer@xanga
Comments (62)
Just like Steve Harvey says, more than 90 days!
I seriously think we should change the name of this blog site from Datingish to Kindergartenish!!!
Wait until you're ready, be it 2 nights or 2 years. Whatever works for you.
well when you feel that its right...
there is no set rule for this stuff... if you want it and you feel you can with out hurting yourself in the process then do it, but if you are unsure and uncomfortable then don't
dont do something u will regret doing!
The only right time is when you feel ready in your heart and mind.
Long enough to make sure its safe, honestly there are a fuck-ton of std's and that scares me or i'd be a bigger man whore.. I think that the first time should be with someone you love and both people should be completely physically mature and within 1 year of the same age.
When YOU feel it's right, of course. I'm not going to sit here and dictate that everyone should have sex at exactly 18 years 3 months 5 days and 24 minutes because that's silly. It's a personal choice, not a societal one. As long as it's safe and legal, who cares what other people think?
YAY cliché answers like whenever you're ready. :)
I was 17 and she was 15 when we first had sex. However, we've been together for over a year and she felt the time was right (and I as well). So, really, I feel that whenever you are ready (but I guess to put some sort of gap on it), maybe 15-16. Wear protection and enjoy.
@ChevalierSeingal - Haha, why do you say that?
@bladegurl@xanga - Because all this so called dating relationship "advice" opinions or whatever you want to call it is nothing more then surface level leave it to beaver "advice" that every teenage mutant ninja turtle has known for the last 30 years.
I am a pick up artist and I can't even read this blog anymore because it would be like you attending preschool year after after year after year and learning 3x3 again and again and again and again! LMAO!
Just don't regret it ;) So, whenever you feel it's right? =)
I think 16 is a good age. As long as it's with someone who you know you won't regret it with. I don't regret having sex with my at the time boyfriend when I was 16.
You know, with the first guy, I waited five weeks into our relationship (he was actually only visiting for five weeks, so it was right before he left, and I barely call it sex.) The next guy, I waited until our 6-month mark. With the next guy, it was our second week as an official couple (we'd gone out on two dates prior to making it official) that we had sex.
Did I mention that guy's my husband now? My point is, it doesn't have a time limit. Sometimes, you rush it, sometimes you don't. But you can't really plan it out. I'll tell you though, the bigger deal you make of it, the worse it will be when it's time to actually do it. With my husband, I was definitely willing, but it sure as hell wasn't planned. And I think he was more bothered by it than I was...he still won't admit it was so soon after we started dating. 'Cause he's cute like that.;)
So...well, that's how it all went down for me. Guaranteed, it'll be different for you.
-Katie
i don't want to sound like a parent or anything but when you know your responsible enough. sex (well, the first time) is big and you should know what your getting yourself into whenever you do it.
plus i don't think it matters much as to when but who. but that's just me.
@ChevalierSeingal - agreed.
@ChevalierSeingal - I appreciate your feedback and understand your frustration. When I authored this post, I intended to generate some discussion about what it means to be ready for sex, and not just mop up the "when you're ready responses." My intent was in no way meant to offer advice.
For example @akatiegirl answers the question well, with personal experience. It's anecdotal, yet constructive for people who might truly be curious.
I saw that you mentioned you are a pick-up artist in a later response. While I have no interest in becoming an artist, I am fascinated by your art, and would love to learn more about it.
i waited until i was ready and i heard all those horror stories of the first time being bad or horrible, but my first time wasn't horrible or bad, i actually enjoyed it. i think when you're ready then it's more enjoyable but if you're doing it because of peer pressure then you're not going to enjoy it. just because everyone's doing it at a young age doesn't mean you should do it either.
@pandoratheexplorer@xanga - Don't worry my smart ass comment had nothing to do with your specific post it was intended for the whole website in general and going by my opinion will just discourage you anyhow sense I study the deepest information I can possible get my hands on like hypnosis and neoro linguistic programming and other type of things so no worries Pandora. As a matter of fact I live by your first quote. :) xo
Oh for goodness sake. Datingish, you are starting to sound like a broken record, thus making me sound like a broken record by leaving the same comments to the same basic posts. However, I still feel it necessary to respond because it's sickening how so many people think that life is somehow less meaningful without good sex. You know, by not taking drugs I could be depriving myself of "incredible euphoria" as well, therefore I don't think abstaining from drugs is appropriate. Same with screwing children. And puppies.
*Face palm* Get out of the gutter Datingish and stop making generalized posts that attempt to make people feel like there's something wrong with them for not being obsessed with sex!
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - Should we bear arm's and start the Second American Revolution???
@xjadersx@xanga - If you had to pick a number what would you say the average age of first time sex is now??? I started when I was 14 but hell that was a long time ago. Just wondering if I am still doing good by today's standards. I have to keep my ego boosted up you know.
@ChevalierSeingal - if you dont regret it, you're fine
@xjadersx@xanga - I would never regret it HELL NO! But knowing what I know now compared to what I knew back then, Holy F***!!!
Hell I thought eating pussy was just throwing your tongue in the slot machine. Clitoris, what the fuck was that??? LMFAO!!!
i don't think you can really put an age to the appropriateness of having sex. i mean, really, it should be when you feel you're ready. no pressure. and my answer is the same to the next question. there isn't a special number of days you have to "wait" before you can start getting jiggy with your SO. i think it's all about the mood ;)