Thursday, 05 November 2009

• Ask Me Anything: Post-Relationship "Slut" Phase?

  chayswag asks: "Would you agree that once a girl has lost [her virginity] to the WRONG guy, and they break up, that that girl sort of goes through a little "slut" phase and sleeps around- or at least messes around a lot- before she decides to settle again?

  Are guys like that? Why, if they are? What if you were in a very long relationship (say, four years, maybe five or six) that had a sexual aspect; is it easy for guys to just switch partners, after having one for so long? Personally, I can't imagine having sex with anyone but my boyfriend. x.x"

   

  I like that you asked this question right after the idea of virginity. Though, I have to number this one.
  

  If the girl was losing it to the wrong guy, there might be a chance she goes to that phase. But it is more likely when that a-hole boyfriend breaks up with her. After all, no woman wants to feel like she has been taken advantage of or had something like him inside. Right when a woman gets dumped by that "wrong guy", she is either looking for love that doesn't hurt or after that first love, she probably doesn't want to love again. Either way, if she does reach what you call a "slut phase", it's because the breakup will be as fatal and hard on the person, as it was sweet in the beginning. The more love you give to a person who doesn't love you the same way, the harder the breakup is going to be, when he dumps what was the best thing that ever happened to him.

  The thing about sex is that its not love, and it doesn't have to include love. All she can do is just get herself some no-guilt cock and leave. No hurt, no emotional struggles, no problem. Right after that, she can seek someone who is worth the hurt for, if she likes. That's why you can't just go out with just anyone anymore. Your heart and your belief in love is always at stake, every time you happily kiss a boy, and not know his true motives with you.

  But not all women get to that. Some women just take the ability to leave and avoid getting hurt all over again, and lead their own ability to move on. Women who leave their a-hole for greener grass wound up the happiest people, once they bump into something better than him. That's payback and a huge smirk at the man who though he had her controls all mapped out and worked around. She comes out unscathed, and the a-hole in question is left to play or hurt another day.

  So, women pretty much will only go through that free booty phase, once she found that she has been given the penetration by men who played around and did serious damage to their heart. After that, it's like a wounded swimmer in a pool of feeding sharks.

  Sometimes, guys are like this, too. The thing is guys aren't as dependent on emotion. Some acknowledge the idea of being horny, and are probably going to explore their sexuality anyway. Some are that sensitive, and some just go by the idea of common sense, or their feelings. If they are horny, they go and get them some booty. If they are heartbroken, they try to self-medicate it. Men aren't willing to just wallow, because of our need to uphold a strong and stern reputation. After all, sensitive men crying in their beer supposedly isn't much of a booty magnet. I wouldn't really know much about that. After all, I have never cried in front of a regular, random girl before.

  As for the long relationship thing, some women would probably move on. It depends on how long you have been with him, and how much the relationship hurts, when it is over. Some guys just move on and try to screw it off, as a means of healing things. And some women would either move on and focus on their life, or be with whomever claims to love them.

  It all comes down to you, and your current feeling about your relationship and your likely-to-be-ex-boyfriend. If you feel like it is completely torturous and hurtful, then you can take two roads: let him dump you, when he is the problem and leave you open to men looking for prey, or leave him and feel a little bit happier with your life in the meantime.

  For example, a friend of mine has been with a complete a-hole of a man. Once she found strength and motivation to leave him, she wound up back home with a new boyfriend and much happier spirit. And her a-hole ex wound up with a prison sentence for some crime and legitimate children he has to raise. Another example is me. I was dumped by an ex I once spoke to. A friend of hers told me she is stressed, took up smoking, and the man wasn't treating her that good. Even the boyfriend at the time told me that she wasn't really happy. Meanwhile, I'm in happy spirits writing a segment about love and sex. 

  With that, I say: Karma's a beautiful biatch!

  So, in order to avoid that aforementioned "slut phase", it helps to keep your heart, mind and your eye on how the boyfriend is treating you. If he is treating you good, then the loss would probably be easier, and no one gets hurt. But I hope there will be no loss. If he is an a-hole to you, then, girl, as much as I hate to say this and sound like a broken record, HAUL ASS!

  Do you agree with my answer?
  

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