Have you ever had your SO clingy to the extreme? I mean, really clingy?
So, the other day I was hanging out with my boyfriend, we had been shopping for a while and I was tired. Being in the mall for two hours when I had plenty of other things to do. I was anxious to get out of the mall and start studying. Anyway, my boyfriend and I get back to my dorm and he just stands there. I tell him that I need to study and do homework and he just sits there...
I have no idea how to tell him nicely to get out, so I start to gather his stuff and walk him to the door - he started to cry. Yes, seriously, my boyfriend started to cry. I was so confused. I was not mean to him in anyway, I just wanted to study by myself.
When I ask him why he was crying, he told me that we do not spend a lot of time together. Now, granted, we
just spent two hours in the mall. With midterms and finals coming up, I am busy with studying. Whenever we studied together in the past we would get... distracted. That is not the only incident either. Once, I was really stressed out and started to tell him my problems - he started to cry then too. When I was angry because I was stressed out, the sniffles came out again! It is so confusing! I never direct my anger at him or say anything horrible to him, he just says that he feels horrible when I am not happy.
Ugh, I have no idea what to do. I feel more like his mother, taking care of him than in a mutual relationship where it takes give and take on both parts. Any suggestions?
Comments (86)
Is he gay?
woah. that's seriously weird....
my ex used to do the same thing, it was really confusing for me too because it'd be over random stuff and it got to the point where it felt like a contest to see who could be more emotional.
don't just wait it out. if it's bothering you this much now that he gets easily emotional, it's just going to get worse over time. If his over sensitivity becomes a deal breaker, then I'd suggest letting him know because you can't change his over-sensitivity and neither can he.
I have no problem with men crying, and I feel that it is healthy for a man to be able to cry.
This, however, is a bit.. bizarre. I'd be confused too as to why he was crying all the time, although on paper, it sounds kinda sweet that he cries for you when you're not happy.
The best thing to do, is just sit down with him and just talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel about his persistent crying: how it confuses you and how it makes you feel like a mother instead of a girlfriend.
GAH! I hate this type of guy!
Ahh I had the same problem with my ex. It sucked because I came to be afraid of offending him and I ended up spending most of my time with him trying to get him to not be upset. It wore me out, especially because I had my own needs -_- I ended up leaving the relationship, it came to the point where I loved him, but I couldn't handle being the one he depended completely on.
Best of luck in whatever you choose.
errr.. eww.. i dunno about u but i really hate boys that are too emotional.. tell him to suck it up and be a man and go out and do guy stuff.. lol.. u cant be there to entertain him or spend 24/7 w/ him. he needs to be more independent!!
hot damn, people. guys can cry, too. think of all over-emotional girls that society accepts and even coddles. give him a break. he cares about you.
...he's crying a little too much...
I'm perfectly fine with guys crying. Though it breaks my heart. But they have feelings too... however I don't even cry over that stuff and I'm pretty emotional sometimes... Maybe he's just really in tune with his feelings... Maybe talk to him about it? idk...
haha a guy found crying is a-ok...but this guy seems like he tries to find every excuse to bust out the kleenex...I think you need to firmly ask him why he keeps crying. It might be a mental issue, all jokes aside. It's not exactly normal to be that emotional that often, especially for a male who I presume is not gay.
lol and that picture of Dawson is pure comedy
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - Exactly.
I mean, come on. He cries when you're unhappy. Seriously? You're complaining about that? I know a lot of girls who'd kill to have 10% of the concern your boyfriend is giving you. If it bothers you, tell him.
"Baby it bothers me to see you cry about what I see as little things. Do you wanna talk about it?"
"I feel that you're dealing with greater issues coz I notice you cry a lot about what I feel are little things. I wanna help you through it. Tell me what's going on."
Then again, I'm not seeing the entire story. But here's my two cents given what you provided on your post. Good luck, and I hope you work this out with your boyfriend.
wow that guy sounds really weird...
Maybe he has PMS - the male version.
What!? LOL I've never heard of such guys who cry like that. Is he really sensitive? Does he cry when you watch chick flicks?
Men can cry but this is a little bit.. weird. Is he oversensitive? If this is bothering you, talk to him about it (with a box of tissue on the side)! Honestly, I don't think I can handle someone who always cries and sniffles when it's not necessarily.
@WhenFaithandFearCollide@xanga - same here, i start to freak out when they cry.
oh my god. i don't even know what to do when a girl cries, let alone a guy. >.<
@XoAsianBabioX@xanga - @mewithoutu77@xanga - @jeezshoua@xanga - @Agent_Spanky@xanga - the women here are so harsh....a man cant cry in peace?? sniff sniff *cries*!!!
haha nah i think its ok for a dude to cry BUT he is taking it to the extreme.....he just wants attention. how long u been dating?
@WhenFaithandFearCollide@xanga - hater HAHAA
@koreansoul09@xanga - i don't think i'm being harsh at all. i remember when i was dating this one guy and he really pissed me off when i was having a really bad day and when i started to cry, he totally freaked out on me. i guess i'm just a little tough now.
@mewithoutu77@xanga - aww well u didnt see the next like where i said he is taking it to the extreme. crying is one thing, being a sissy for attention is totally another. i was just joking when i told u and the others that. honestly if u started crying, then he should have comforted you. i dont know however what went down with that, BUT i hope tht it ended with you learning somethign.....just so you know life is short, so if u find someone that makes u cry...he isntworth it. u seem intelligent enough so i have belief that what happened before with u and other guys wont happen again..... or do u think it will...?
@koreansoul09@xanga - it hasn't happened since that time because we're not together anymore.
Tell him to grow a pair of balls...if not a spine would be nice also.
i don't get the whole "guys who cry are sooo hot" thing. i don't want my guy to cry. not at things not worth crying about. (if someone dies or we break up, you can cry.)
that is bizarre, and it sounds like he has some attachment issues. maybe this sounds sarcastic, but i'd honestly recommend therapy.