Wednesday, 04 November 2009
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Memories: Keep 'Em or Dump 'Em?
Okay, so you can't REALLY get rid of memories of your exes from the past but this is referring to all the gifts, the photos, and other memorabilia. There are some people that tend to keep things from the past for reasons of their own. Me, I tend to keep old gifts and photos because for me, it's a reminder of how far I've come to learning about the person I truly am. The boys I've been with in the past each have taught me something about myself and allowed me to take something truly valuable from each relationship, no matter how bad it was.
There are other girls/guys who tend to throw anything that reminds them of their exes out. I never really threw anything out besides maybe bad journal entries that portrayed negative memories I wouldn't want to keep coming back to anyway. But the reasons people might throw those keepsakes out is maybe it's their way of moving on. I suppose if you kept that stuff around, it just reminds you of what you miss [or don't miss].
Do you keep stuff from your exes? Why/Why not?
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About the Author
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- From: how_x_loverly@xanga
- Name: Kristen
- About Me: My name is Kristen. I am 20 years old and I currently reside in Pittsburgh, PA where I attend the Art Institute of Pittsburgh for Fashion & Retail Management. I hope to be involved in fashion publications someday but that may change as time goes on.
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Comments (62)
I keep things, only because there are either useful things like clothes . . . or just to keep them. None of my relationships actually ended badly so there is no reason to throw things away. I tend to do the opposite of what alot of people do anyways (like still talk to my ex after we broke up).
Um...I usually toss everything that doesn't have true sentimental value, but at the same thing, anything I do keep doesn't stay lying around for any current boyfriend to stumble on it, you know? It all goes into a great big converse box. I've figured out that once I can go through everything without feeling any remnants of jealousy, resentment, anger, etc., I'm "over" that person. So I keep it more-so to help gauge my own feelings than to have it remind me about what sort of person I am now.
Keep. The only reason I'm willing to say is: So that I can tell them thanks for the memories. Yeah... I'm overly cliche that way. >_
I don't keep anything to remind me of a relationship that failed. Throwing stuff like that out it somewhat cathartic for me.
I keep them because they're just nice to look back on.
Shirts, necklaces, cards, cards, cards ...
i'd throw them all away. bury them. burn them. whatever i could do to get rid of them, i would. and as for the memories in my head, i wish there was an erase button somewhere on my body.
I kept stuff in a box under my bed. It's all just nice stuff to look back on. I think I'd end up regretting throwing away the stuff that reminded me of good and happy times (even if those good and happy times didn't last, or didn't end on a positive note).
If its something i can use why throw it away? But if its pictures stuffed animals anything that can be replaced CYA...
I keep the things that are more "me" than anyone else (ie, pictures, old journals, etc.). I just think it's fun to look back at photos and things I've written and see how far I've come (like you said). There are still a few random cards and gifts floating around (mostly in storage at my parents' house), but they're not of any use to me, so I don't intentionally keep them around. I found an old love note the other day and it was interesting to read again--I'd forgotten about much of what I'd experienced with that guy, and it was odd to read it and know that at some point it had to have meant something to both of us. While reading it the other day, I barely even knew what he was talking about. I can't believe how young we were when that was going on!
Definitely a weird experience, and I'm not looking to relive those days, but it's fun to look at how much I've changed. I don't know anything about any of my exes anymore--it's been years since I've been with anyone other than my SO, and it's weird to think about being with anyone else. I was a very different person in those days.
I keep gifts.
Everything else is return to sender.I once was so angry with my ex who dump me for no good reason, so i gather all the stuffs he gave me and posted it back to him just to let him feel that he's such a jerk, there is no point to keep memories for jerk. But on my recent break up, I don't know why but it's the feeling inside that tells me i should keep em, so i kept it all in a box and put it aside, a place that i can't see it. so i guess, probably it depands on how the relationship ended to decide whether we keep or throw.
Hmmm... I thought about torching some stuff, but then couldn't find it anyway.Teddy bears, letters, CD's, etc, it's all tossed in a box somewhere in my parent's garage. I suppose when I move out again I'll have to go through all my boxes and deal with things I no longer need. There are a couple small things I'll probably keep though.
I'm a packrat, I don't throw anything away. I keep everything! My past bfs never gave me much anyway, I made sure that they understood that I am not a materialistic or girly girl. The last one didn't understand that, gave me a bathrobe that I never liked and barely used, and then asked for it back when we broke up. Who asks for gifts back? I was completely appalled by how rude that was.
sometimes?
><
x
i think that .
well i dont really know what i think HAHA.
but i just keep them. sometimes when im bored, i like to look through them.
i never delete old entries or pictures either. i think it's important to keep in touch with who you've been in the past in order to progress in life. besides, i value my memories, even the bad ones.
I have a couple of jewlery that my ex/baby dadddy gave me and i didnt throw them away because first off i love jewlery and yeah i love rings so i kept them. plus when i tried to give them back he wouldnt let me.
i only keep the good stuff... haha jkjk
i used to hoard everything but then things started getting crammed in my room so i started to dump everything out. don't crucify me. i kept all the letters and notes in boxes. i figure, by the time i retire, i'll have a huge retirement project going through everything and reminiscing the good old days when i was at my prime, lol.
I either get rid of it, or just put it in a box and put it away in my closet somewhere. If I do put it away, I don't go through it. It's kind of something I've made a part of the breaking up process. It helps me move on.
I keep a few things, because they were gifts haha. Stuff that I can pawn off as Christmas gifts to other people. I think I might still have a journal we wrote to each other in somewhere around my parent's house. Everything else like letters and cards I threw away. Why keep junk? To clutter up your house?
For all my old exes I would cut up the few random pictures that we were in together. Throw all their stuff out and try to get them as far removed from my life as possible. For my last ex, considering the fact that I didn't want to break up with her might be a huge reason for all this, but I still have every gift she gave me. Almost every picture we took, or she took and gave to me during our relationship. I had old emails saved, even text messages saved. I got rid of some of the written stuff, such as 5 year old emails, as well as erasing all the texts off my phone (I still regret that one though).
This part might seem weird. After we broke up she moved into her own place and I lent her my dishes, pots and pans, rice cooker (I believe), and left her with all my Anime figurines because where I was living at the time they would have been destroyed or ruined by the roommates dirtiness. As far as I know she still has all those and still uses them, and has the figures set up all around her kitchen.
After we broke up she gave me her bed, sheets, pillows, and a phone charm. The bed was because my bed was a queen and I was now sharing a room with another guy, where I was sleeping on the floor. While it made sense it was probably the worst thing she could have given me because every time I see it, or sleep in it I just think "Ok that's her bed". If another girl tries to lay on it I get upset because I don't think my ex would want that...it's definitely problematic. In summary never take a bed or keep a bed your ex gave you heh.
Oh I also often wish I had amnesia so I could forget a lot of what I remember. Woo that was long.
i dunno yet..
i still have like the letters and gifts, and i still cuddle with a frog stuffed animal (but god i love froggies they're soooo c ute, especially pacific treefrogs gahhhhh).
@JusticeCho@xanga - yeah, it was long, but I'm glad you wrote it. It's real, I mean, the way we affect one another's lives, the ways we separate, and the ways we don't. how when we really shared a chunk of our life with another, the nuts and bolts of separating are so much deeper than burning the t shirt he gave me, etc...I'm looking at my recent lost relationship,. and seeing how careful he was to never let our lives intersect. Our energy...mixed and exploded and exchanged all over the place, but with surgical precision he never let our lives intersect. I should have paid more attention to that at the time.
I use the same criteria about whether to keep things as I do about anything else in my life...am I going to use this...does it serve me to keep it. Even after a relationship fails. that doesn't negate everything that happened, the fact that sometimes might have been amazing, etc. If I want to hang onto some of those memories, I keep the things that will help me do that. If all they bring is pain...I may stash them for a bit. check again later and make my decision then.
Usually things go at different times, what I save today I may discard next year, or in five years. or never. I don't force it.
I keep evrything...all the love letters and cards from my boyfriend. I keep all my diaries. I lock it up in the attic so that a few years from now I can look back at how my younger days used to be. I also want to show my future kids the letter I got from my first love.