Tuesday, 03 November 2009
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Is There Such a Thing as "The Love of Your Life?"
My friends and I were arguing about a very important subject matter (Okay, I lied, It’s not THAT important). Of course, we were talking about our futures and whatnot, and then the topic of marriage arose.
One girl brings up that she wants to get married to a “hawt Korean celebrity.”
Another girl says that she wants to get married to a “wealthy .”
Then, someone says “I want to marry the love of my life.”
This is where we all pause and go “Awwwww!” But of course, someone has to ruin the moment and go “That’s ridiculous. There’s no such thing as THE love of your life.”
*gasp* Oh no she didn’t!
Being the obnoxious teenage girls that we are, a fight broke out. Just kidding, we are very civilized and mature young adults, so we presented the argument and evidence in a highly refined manner.
According to the said friend, it is stupid/illogical/insane/ignorant to believe that a person can truly love love love love LOVE only one person during his/her lifespan. (I would use the term “soulmate” but that word is so…frightening to me.)
Her main (personal) reasons are:
She would get bored. She says that she wouldn’t be able to STAND being with only one person for the majority of her whole entire life (she needs variety, you know what I’m saying?)
People get married and divorced all the time. Some people don’t even get married in their lifetime!
Having sex with the same person for more than a week would be extremely drab. (she would.)
I guess she does have some relatively legitimate reasons…..
What do you think?
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About the Author
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- From: noree_n@xanga
- Name: Noreen
- About Me: Even though my name sounds like it would belong to a 95-year-old great-grandmother, I can personally guarantee you that I am nowhere even close to being 30.
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Comments (66)
i believe in having one "love of my life". i'm sure it's not a movie myth. but hey, i think we can only say that when we're old and when we've lived our life. when we're at said point, we can look back and say, "s/he was the love of my life".
Lol she is a slut... I like that. Mind introducing me to that girl? *wink haha jp. The Love of your life does exist but it's rare thats why you get players and whores =).
I think she's being a little cynical and negative. Even if she doesn't have a love of her life, there's no reason for her to think others don't. I think being with one person my entire life to love me is amazing. and my husband and I don't believe in divorce (old fashioned huh?), so, maybe she needs to just open her mind a tad bit.
Maybe I'm one of those "hopeless romantics", but I certainly do believe in the possiblity of someone being the love of your life.
People don't remain static (at least, most don't), so with continous growth/change, there's always more about a person you can get to know. That, to me, means I won't get bored of the person. Yes, people do get married/divorced a lot, but there are a lot of factors there. There are couples that stay together for the rest of their lives too. As for that last point....I suppose if that's what the relationship is based on, she possibly has a point. *shrug*
awwwww
I think the "love of your life" is defined wrong. I have a love of my life, we aren't together anymore. However, he is still the love of my life. I would define the term as someone who was the first to truly have your heart, and even if other people come along, that person stole the innocence of love before it was known. It is someone who you can always come back to, even years later. Even if you two never get into another relationship and settle with someone else, no one has the same connection as the two of you have. You two could never have even been in a relationship before, or it may have been forbidden, or something as simple as a summer fling.
I hope this explanation made sense... it's just my definition of it, though.
"Having sex with the same person for more than a week would be extremely drab"
wow I guess she's one of those who can't commit to ONE guy.
I don't believe that there is one singular person for everyone because we're all different after all so we won't follow the path of romantic love in the same way. I, for example, don't have that one person because I'm not interested in romantic relationships; however, others might feel they do have that one special someone for them and others still might feel they have more than one special someone for them. It's all up to the individual and their desires I think, but we shouldn't knock others for having different desires than us. That's not cool.
yes, there is a such thing. if you're smart, you will realize this.
@pensively@xanga - i agree
I believe highly in there being a "love of your life." There can be just one person for everyone if your willing to make it work. May not happen for sometime or it may happen instantly but when you find that person you'll know and hopefully then your perspective on having a "love of your life'' will change, as you come to realize it can be highly true.
I'm sorry but your friend is just not sexually satisfied and that seems to be all she is looking for when there is so much more to a relationship and to love.
She's young and brash. The whole point of having a relationship is getting to know someone well in all regards especially in the physical sense. It can take a whole lifetime to do that. It would probably take at least a quarter of your life to find someone you are compatible with.
I totally agree with her! It's human nature to get bored! I don't get why people live with this fairy tale complex when it comes to relationships! I mean, seriously. Out of all the people that live on Earth, you expect ONE to be absolutely perfect and you'll spend FOREVER with them!
Makes perfect sense.
Humans aren't the sort of creatures that mate for life. Hell, it was said that penguins mated for life, but after the "gay penguin" incident at SF Zoo, it proves that they too can get bored of one another. (They broke up with each other once the other found a female mate)
I'm reading the comments and it's pissing me off. People are calling your friend, "cynical", "negative" and "not sexually satisfied". If anything else, she's being realistic. Something people need to get a grasp on. Relationships aren't fairy tales and there is no such thing as a "happily ever after". Once people acknowledge that, then break-ups wouldn't be so unnecessarily dramatic. You love someone, and like every other emotion, it eventually fades away with time.
"Nothing lasts forever, so what makes 'love' an exception?"
- Kunoichi
What your friend is saying is that she's the kind of person who never wants to be tied down, i.e. she aspires to be a slut. I'm not trying to insult with that word--I'm just defining what she wants to become. Hey, to each his own. Her life will be filled with drama and such.
I've found my "love of my life". He's interesting, funny as hell, and just the right mixture of sexy, cute, smart, honest, and trusting. He's my type in every aspect of my life. He's my soulmate. I'm lucky to be with him, and we love each other so much.
People can believe what they want. I think everyone out there has someone waiting for them.
@willalwayzloveUxX@xanga - yep I completely agree with your last statement.
The friend seems like she's looking for multiple quick fixes instead of LOVE. There's a difference between LOVE and LUST. Not every girl wants to settle down, and that's fine...but it's unfair to say that believing in a "love of a lifetime" is wrong. Love is love...there's no wrong or right, there's no bad or good. Love is what you make of it. I think in order to find your love of a lifetime, you will have to make it happen. Quite frankly you can learn to grow to love someone you didnt even like in the beginning. Love works in mysterious ways
I Believe that love and lust or different. Becasue Love is something that will be with that same person for ever. And Lust is you just don't love they just want to get it to someones pants. And that is a true statement.
If I didn't remember wrong from reading your past posts..
You are still in elementry @@"
And your friend is already thinking about sex and stuff O_O
I believe there is a "love of your life." I just think the thing that most people confuse is the meaning behind that.
The way I've always heard (and believed it to be) is that the love of your life is not the ONLY person you will ever love. The love of your life is the person you will LOVE THE MOST. The person you will want to spend the rest of your life with (once you've spent a little life with non-love of your life people). I believe I've met the love of my life, but that doesn't mean that I've never loved anyone else. Your friend is right to believe that it's ignorant to think you'll only ever love one person.
Also, I believe I've met the love of my life SO FAR. In my 25 years, I know who the person is that I would call the love of my life if I were to die tomorrow.
And when you've met the right person (and obviously your friend has not), you won't get bored. You won't lack variety. You probably won't get divorced if you two are truly a right fit for each other. You WILL want to spend the rest of your life with that person. They will give you the things you need that constant different partners cannot.
@x__dollyco@xanga - haha no i'm in high school :D
@noree_n@xanga - O_O oh what, where did i get the idea that you were young.. i thought it didnt make sense how your english was so fine..
i think i might've read a really old post of yours and you were talking about when you were younger...
but you look really young even for HS x) im in hs too.
Marriage = benefits. Sex = Physical satisfaction.
I believe in true love because of my parents. After 22 years, they still enjoy each others company. They still hold hands in the car and when we walk around the mall or the boardwalk. Last year I forgot to knock and saw something I never want to see again. They still cuddle on the couch while they watch movies. They still talk and laugh together.
True love is absolutely possible, but people will only be able to find it (and keep it) if they are willing to make things work. It is not all butterflies and rainbows. In our culture, we strive for instant gratification, but true love doesn't work that way.
I believe that it is stupid/illogical/insane/ignorant to believe that something is impossible just because the media and society have screwed America up so much.
I think she's right, and so is your other friend. Love and relationships are personal. Some people CAN and DO fall in love with that "one person" and stay in love for their entire lives, get married to them, etc. Some people don't, can't, and wouldn't if they could. Some people from the first group fall in love with people in the second group *always sad.* Some people in the second group meet a person in the 1st group that they fall in love with and who changes their entire perspective on life. They learn that they can do all those things they never thought they could.
It's VERY personal, and different for everyone.
I think they should agree to disagree.
i wouldn't mind staying with one guy for life. Seriously.
I found my "love of a lifetime". It's possible. Now, the question of are humans supposed to be monogamous...that's a different question. Love and monogamy aren't mutually exclusive.
You know, maybe not everyone is meant to have one person. Maybe some people are meant to have many because that's how they want it. Me? I've found my life's love, and I can't imagine being with anyone else, let alone getting tired of him after a week. But that's me. I've always been wired to be with just one person. Have I loved other people? Well, yeah...but not in the way that's lasting. Never until I met my husband. I met him and I knew he'd be someone special to me. He gave me that feeling. Fast-forward four years, and we're married and happy. Meeting him didn't make life perfect, but it sure makes it easier to get through the tough times when you have a great partner beside you.
-Katie