Sunday, 01 November 2009
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Has Love Come and Gone?
What if you met the one you were supposed to be with, fell in love but drifted apart through no fault of your own? I only spent a few short months with her, but it was filled with more love than some relationships I've been in that lasted years.I was only 16 years old during the Summer of 1996, and she was the last girl I thought I'd ever fall for. Our differences were like night and day our angst and concerns seemed worlds apart, yet somehow love found us. Meeting someone like her, forever changed how I viewed life, and what I expected from myself. She made me strive to be a better person, because I've never met anyone with a heart like hers. She was so selfless, devoting her time to orphans, families that needed help and caring for her sick brother until his illness finally claimed his life. Some of the things we did together, was learning sign language so we could teach her brother, who was deaf, the Bible before he died. To be perfectly honest I was atheist, but it meant so much to her to do this for her brother that I helped her. I really can't say enough to describe how wonderful she was, so I'm not going to bore you with all the details. Let's just say that I thought of her as an Angel, if anybody fit that description it was her. She wasn't just my Angel either, everyone she knew was in some way touched by her kindness.
We would spend nearly everyday at her house on the seashore talking till the Sunset. This was the most amazing Summer I've ever spent, and when it finally ended I was nearly beside myself with grief. For you see, she lived in the Philippines and I lived in the U.S. Returning here and readjusting to life was difficult. My world had been turned upside down by her, I could never look at a girl the same way again, I could never look at life the same way again. I held up my life here for her, I did not meet another girl, did not bother to even look. We waited two years before I could see her again, she was even more beautiful than I remembered, a girl finally blossoming into a young woman. Though she seemed happy to see me, I noticed a sadness that was not there before. We've been living entirely different lives since we last parted, and I was afraid that maybe she had met someone else during this time.
She flashed a melancholy smile, shaking her head after I had the guts to ask her if my worse fears were true. She waited a few more weeks before she finally told me what was wrong. During the two years, her deaf/mute brother had died of his illness, she goes on to say that a similar problem also claimed her father, and that she too had the same problem. I had to return to the U.S again, but before that we decided it was best to live our own lives because she did not know how much time she had left, and she had all these plans for herself. I don't know how to describe our relationship, we never had sex, barely even kissed, ours was an almost spiritual connection. Anyways, I think everyone understands how this ended up, and why I can't ever go back to right everything that went awry. If this sounds like a cheesy romantic movie, you'd be right, it's called a A Walk to Remember. I went to go see this movie with an old Ex, and felt like I was going to die as I watched the film. The character that the lead actress portrayed was real to me, in every way they were so much alike. I'm 29 now, I've been in relationships that lasted five, intense happy years, yet I can't shake the feeling that I already met the one I was supposed to be with and she's gone forever.
Do you believe that the one you were supposed to be with, already came and went?
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About the Author
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- From: Peremptorious@xanga
- Name: Shady
- About Me: "To feel joy is human, to feel Schadenfreude is devilish," Brazen unabashed humor languidly faced with a facade of pseudo-intellectualism...
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Comments (36)
What a sad post, yet such a sweet one. I'm sorry things didn't work out with her
She sounds truly lovely.
I felt like I have twice. Once about 3 years ago and one that just recently drifted away. It made me reevaluated my commitment, not just to relationships, but friendships as well. People tell me that me and her were too young to really know what we wanted (we're both 22). But why determine knowing what we want by age? I already know who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know what I want in my SO when I finally meet her. It's just that she has to know what she wants, and that hopefully one of those things is me.
aww :( such a sweet post yet so sad
I know true love lasts long after the relationship ends because the bond is that strong. However, my relationship was 9 years ago and we have drifted apart so I have to move on somehow.
I think the one you're supposed to be with is the one that stays in your life no matter what the circumstances are. If they care enough they will find a way to be there somehow and if your love for them never fades even when you meet other people, that should tell you something.
wow, isn't this a little unfair to your girlfriend now...? maybe you can spare your girlfriend of 5 yrs now the pain and anguish she might feel because you don't really believe you're supposed to be with her. why waste her time.
oh my god. o.o I can't believe that actually happened to you. That is the stuff of novels, of inspiration, of life-ruining, heart-wrenching, romantic and tragic stories. It happened to you? That's incredible.
I think that people build up experiences in their head, and they build up people in their head. If you had spent more time with her, and had a longer relationship with her, you may have realized she wasn't the one for you. But of course, because you were cut off from her in such an early stage, she still seems perfect. And she'll always be perfect, to you. I'd be wary of comparing other girls to that standard-- because nothing will be able to compare to it. But at the same time, the relationships you're having now are going to be much more real than that was.
as for me, I've never known anyone that died. Anyone I've fallen in love with, i'm still in contact with. I thought Jackie was 'the one', but she's straight.. so she's just my best friend. I lost a part of her, but it was a part I was never going to get anyway. and I feel like I kept the most important part.
@dearFLOPPY@xanga - past tense, I'm no longer with that ex who I was with for 5 years, that was a long time ago too. You're right though, I was constantly comparing her to my first real love, which was unfair.
it seems like you don't know how to carry on...perhaps, in her spirit, you should continue the work she was trying to do while still living. you will feel her, you will help and guide others.
after 13 years, i am sure she wouldn't want you to be in this situation. she sounds like a beautiful woman, who would want to see you spending your life creating happiness.
also, there is one thing to love, but another thing to never let go.
remember, but don't hold on....
they say it is always easier for those who have loved to love again...it may be hard to believe this, especially because of the love you have for her, but nothing is impossible.
best of luck to you.
i think puppy love and real love are two different things. i think the differences are monumental. when you're 16 and you're "in love", your emotions are all crazy and jumbled. you'd die for this person. your world revolves around her. when you get older, i think its hard to compare that kind of passion. don't get me wrong, there's still passion and all the do-dads but you're more responsible and probably a little more reserved. i don't think you'll ever give your heart away so unforgivingly as you did when you were that age.
Hmmm, IDK. Maybe you will meet again.
This is such a sad post. I haven't found 'The One' that i'm supposed to be with, but if it were to happen, I hope I can be mature enough in the 'Love' department to realize that.
i feel like i've met the one. we can't be together because my parents. and other stories. even though i'm young, i feel like it's him. i can't shake the feeling.
i'm not too sure if i've met the one already, i feel that if you're truly meant to be together you'll be together and will overcome the obstacles.
Maybe, but I'm not too sure. I think if both parties are meant to be together, fate will bring them both together.
at the time I believed it, but now that I'm more mature and "over it", I realized that he's not the one for me, that he was merely a way to pass the time unless the right fish comes along.
I was about to write a post on finding and losing the one, and if it is the one how can you tell and how can you ever find someone else. I think I had my one, together for half a decade, but I lost her to mostly faults of my own. Been apart for a year and some months, and still can't seem to get her off my mind or out of my heart. Situations like that suck. Sorry about your past, 13 years is a long time, but I won't pretend to know what to say except I hope you can find someone who makes you as happy or at least close to as happy as the one did.
Incredibly powerful post. The entire time I was reading, all I could think was "I SWEAR this is A Walk to Remember..."
wow you're story is like a korean drama. >.<
@jeezshoua@xanga - completely agree. i believe that too.
@XoAsianBabioX@xanga - lol i thought that at first too.
but its soo sad =[
Wow that was a beautiful post.
that is beautiful.
at the same time, i dont think that you should see her as THE ONE YOU WERE MEANT TO BE WITH FOREVER. she was a glorious factor in your life, with a purpose and a time limit, it seems. take the lessons you learned from her, and practice them in your life. if you believe you are meant to fall in love and have a marriage, it will all happen in good time. but you should try to see it in a different light; a thing that you were lucky to have experienced, but only for a moment.
@Lovebipolar117@xanga - I do think about that, I wonder how things would have run it's course if she wasn't sick, and not half a world away. I find it next to impossible, not to compare other girls to her. I can be satisfied and happy with a different girl, but honestly it's always in the back of my mind.
@XoAsianBabioX@xanga - Hmmm, which one? I hope not Boys Over Flowers..
Go after her, a shot at something like that is worth the pain, I would know.