Saturday, 31 October 2009
-
Why Are You Making This SO Hard!?
So, I was in love. Heels over head, ready to marry and have his kid kind of love! I mean, when he got home from work I was ready with his favorite drink and I had already done his laundry and hung it up for him kinda love. Anything I could do for this man I did it.
He repaid me by breaking my heart so completely I felt like I was dying. (I know that sounds cliché but it’s the truth). This happened in June of this year.
Since then we tried to be just friends. Turns out, about a few weeks after he said the dreaded ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ he wanted me back. I had already moved back in with my parents and had grieved over our relationship for weeks.
Trust me people, it gets better!
So I decide that we would be just friends for a while and see what happens after that and as time went on he became more and more abusive. You know, the making me feel guilty and like I was doing things wrong and that I wasn’t treating him right. Etc. etc. I cut ties with him. It was probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my life so far. I really did love that man but I knew I wasn’t doing anything wrong and I deserved to be treated better.
Now he’s in the ‘I want all my stuff back mode.’ Demanding that I return his things to him (That he didn’t care about before!) before the end of next week or he will make arrangements to pick them up himself.
In my heart I think he’s a really sweet and wonderful person. Have I just been kidding myself all this time? Have I only been seeing what I wanted to see? Or is he only acting this way because he’s hurt and if he is then why did he hurt me so many times that he finally pushed me away completely?
Are all people this self destructive?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: SamanthaSearching@xanga
- Name: SamanthaSearching
- About Me: This blog exist so I can be totally honest with myself.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 3131 Comments: 0 32 View all posts by SamanthaSearching@xanga
Comments (32)
holy confusing man!
some people take things for granted.. and when they aren't given it anymore anymore - they really want it... and by then it's usually just too late.
The human condition, nothing more, nothing less
5 stages of a bad breakup
(1) regret
(2) denial
(3) anger
(4) frustration
(5) destruction
i think most ppl go through the first two. only when you get from 3-5 things get ugly. i strongly believe no one knows what they really want in this world.
I think he's really hurt and now disappointed because he realized how great you were and how you're trying to move on.
At one point, he probably meant that he loves you but not in love with you. I mean, after you spend some time with a person for an amount of time, yes, you do miss their presence when they're gone but did he really want you back because he loves you or did he just miss your presence? Hmmm.
O'well.
Better now than later, I always say.
Dunno the guy personally so I can't say. I can only base off my own past experiences. If he turned around that fast about missing you it could have been that he really realized that he missed you, or it could be he just missed having someone there for him (which is the more common of the two). Wanting his stuff back that he didn't care about before is just frustration and anger of being rejected by someone who he thought he would always have not wanting him anymore. The abusive-ness I don't really have an excuse for other than it could just be his guilt/anger/frustration from the situation building up causing him to do/say stupid things.
I was in a similar situation before with my ex. I really cared about him and he just got rude and ignorant towards me so we ended things. Well, he ended things.I was completely devastated and crushed. Then a few weeks later he wanted to try and work things out again. When I didn't try hard enough to *fix* the things he messed up, he just got mad and rude again. Trust me, it isn't worth it at all.
I don't know, I haven't had any *bad* break-ups, at least not yet.
@lot223@xanga - couldnt agree more
i don't know if it's because you're no longer in his life and if he's for real about it. i was in something similar to this a while ago, i held it out and just accepted the fact that we're not good for each other and went our separate ways and it was good for both of us. it was like no matter how much i loved this person, we just weren't getting along and i was getting tired of it. even though he begged me and got on his knees, it wasn't worth getting my heart broken again by him. it's really your choice, if going back means he's a changed man and things will be different then go for it, but if the same things are going to happen again, then there's really no point.
@lot223@xanga - seconded :)
I go by a policy concerning dating, and this is to never date the same person more than once.
There's too many people in this world to ruin yourself on just one idiot.
Sure, there is one person that I've considered dating again, but she's long gone now. Not every guy is like you described.
@xSerendipity713x@xanga - sounds like something I want to avoid. sad story that we cant seem to get along. how do we fix things if we never envision?
@doLc3@xanga - women are more confusing, and worst off, they admit it.
yes, yes, no, he's a jackass, and most.
@oO_km_Oo@xanga - agreed.
He didn't realize or appreciate what he had, and not that he's lost it and knows he can't have it back, he's going to throw every bitch fit in the book. Just don't fall into it, and continue to cut ties. Falling for him again will only feed his need to dominate you. Here's a quote that I really like...and I hope will help:
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that
you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them
when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust
noone but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better
things can fall together."
—
Marilyn Monroe
Best wishes.
@jeezshoua@xanga - wow.thats so true!
@lot223@xanga - Well. I guess I'm guilty of all five of those.
love is blind .. er, makes you blind to their shit, that is.
Sounds like neither of you are bad people or crazy, just unsure of how to find a balance between what you want and what is best for you. Give him the stuff back so he wont have a reason to enter and exit your life as he pleases. Find true happiness with someone who makes you feel GOOD about yourself!!
@lot223@xanga - Agreed. 110% agreed.
Ignore the bitch.
Call the police if you must.
Don't give him back his things.
Have nothing to do with him ever again.
Ask for a restraining order for good measure.
If it were me, I'd be taking him back. Then again I find that the men I've loved the most were the most abusive. I'd be begging him to take me back.
Give him his things back and move on. He missed his chance, don't worry about it. That whole guilting thing is not something that you want to deal with, because most of the time it only gets worse.
maybe he's using the material possessions as an excuse to see you and expects to instantaneously steal your heart back.
Well i can say i am i guess. Only my ex just doesnt want his stuff back, like he doesnt want to face me. I have his garfielfd books from his childhood , even though i dont really want it because its his and will always be that way. Its a reminder of him (i also have his brothers girlfriends sims 2 games) We talk from time to time but i want to give the stuff back.