Saturday, 31 October 2009
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Desperate Status?
I've been taking a few classes in American University, which is located in DC; so I happen to take the metro to school a lot. On one freezing fuzzy afternoon, I jumped on the train to go back home after class. As expected, the train was packed because it was during rush-hour. As I strolled down the aisle, there was this one gentleman (I said gentleman because he was... dressing in a suit and looking... business-liked) who moved his suitcase to the side so I could sit down. As soon as I placed my butt on the chair, he started to make conversation with me. Normally, I wouldn't talk to any stranger but he seemed friendly enough. One thing led to another.
We hit it off and talked non-stop about almost everything: ages, jobs, schools, religions, families, marriage, parties etc... He was pretty opened and I could tell that he was decent and honest, because he showed me his work/school ID. However, after 15 minutes, I finally stopped talking to check if my stop came, and I realized I was... on the wrong train for the entire time. As rushing as I was, I really didn't think about anything else except to get out as soon as possible; so I said goodbye to him and sprinted out of the train, leaving him behind my back calling out "Bye. Good luck!"
As I was calming down and waiting for my next train, I regretted that I didn't have any contact with him because we were really hitting it off. If I had that chance again, I'd grab his hand and write my number on it and say something witty like "Coffee, sometimes?" (Had to keep it short because I needed to get off the train!) But then again, the fact is still that he didn't ask for my number first... I was personally scared of being thought as desperate because we were talking for only 15 minutes and there were a lot of his co-workers around on that same train.
What is your opinion? Do you think it's desperate for a girl to give out her number, instead of allowing a guy to ask for it first?
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- From: TequilaKisses@xanga
- About Me: Don't you break butterflies upon the wheels?
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Comments (41)
Before I got married...I didn't give out my number unless a guy asked for it. I prefer the guy to take charge and ask.
I don't think it's wrong for a girl to initiate...just not something I personally would do. :)
can you take that same train at the same time and day again? if he's there, he might talk to you again, and because of the last time, it might motivate him to ask for your number. thats what I would do.
I prefer when he asks for my number. I don't think it's "desperate" for a chick to give a guy her number. I would assume she's flirting with him, but giving him her number doesn't imply that she's insecure, needy, not good gf material, etc.
it just depends on how much she likes to be chased and how much he likes to chase. if neither of them are really into that, then her giving her number to him right away is okay.
this sounds a lot like the "is it ok for girls to make the first move/call first/ask a guy out?" question. dammit, yes you can! it's not desperate. i don't see how showing an interest is desperate.
No it's not desperate at all! I wish this one girl did so 2 nights ago at a party I was at. We hit it off as well talking for almost the whole time at the party. At times like those, whoever thinks of giving the number first should give it out I would have if it was on my mind.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - Exactly.
Go for it, man! Or, err, woman. Whatever.
what's funny is he's probably regretting not getting any contact info just as much as you are.
I'd have to agree with SupperMick.
It's okay for girls to make a move. However, I do find it a turn off if a girl comes on too strong.
It's not desperate. It's taking initiative. :)
it'd definitely be a nice change!
You should have asked him for his.
I dont think events like this occur very often...it's almost a serendipitous act. I think you should have taken the initiative if you were interested, and either got his number or gave him yours. It wouldnt have come off as desperate, because indeed you had to rush off to take the proper train. It wasn't any fault of your own that you couldnt stay to converse more. As a guy, I wouldnt have thought you were desperate, just interested. Maybe you'll meet him again, if you decide to jump on the wrong train next time!
Damn, I don't think he'd think you were desperate; he would probably have been rocketing off the roof if you had given him your number! One more stop wouldn't have hurt lol. I agree with goblinsinthemirror; take that train again at the same time! Give him your number then! lol Maybe he'll get to it first and ask you for yours haha. But I really have to ask, how did you get so many topics into 15 minutes?
@Secret_Thoughts_Secret_Wishes@xanga - Oh, we talked NON-STOP. One topic related to another :)
Guys like it when a girl take initiate. I don't think it would make you look desperate or any of that sort. You two were chatting up a storm and I'm sure he felt the same you did (regretting to get your number)!
I have a similar situation. Basically, we've had 2 encounters, both of which he initiated with conversation but after that I haven't seen him around. I say, when an opportunity presents itself, go for it!
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - Agreed. Need more girls like you out there hehe.
If he was a gentleman as you described he probably didn't want to push his boundaries by 1 starting the conversation then 2 asking for your number as it ended. To many girls that would look as if the only reason he was nice to you in the first place was to get your number and eventually into your pants. He probably didn't have that purpose in his mind, but if asking for your number did ever cross his mind that situation probably popped up in his mind too, deterring him from asking you.
As for your question whether it's desperate or not. Hells no, I always like it when the girl makes the first move, especially in that sort of situation.
when i read that someone KINDLY moved his suitcase for you to sit down...i was like "IN DC?!" lol simply because we know how ruthless a lot of the folks are out here, esp. on the metro.
and it's not desperate, that obviously is intiative, taking a chance. now if you were stalking him and followed him and waited for him to ask for your number, that right there is desperate.
sheesh, why can't i meet a nice man like that in DC, esp on the metro! lol (i live out here btw lol)
you should have!
It would have been really cute if you did, I don'tt hink it's desperate if you give a guy your number. He sounds really nice, maybe he was shy and was waiting for a bigger sign of you giving him your number! Taking initiative is really awesome to find in a girl :)
if you ever see him again, go for it. there's no harm asking a guy out or giving your number to him. it takes too much to let him do it.
lol not desperate at all :)
altho i dont think id be gutsy enough :D
x
Maybe the guy is too shy to ask? If I met a guy that I might like, I . No harm if a girl asks, what's the worse that could happen? Reject the girl? Well, he probably didn't want anything to do with her, anyway.
not necessarily desperate, but its definitely forward.
CARPE DIEM!