When meeting potential significant others, or just new people in general, most people I know try to show off their best side. They're well-groomed, exhibit exemplary manners, and for the most part just try to shine.
However, we all know that people aren't like that. We all have bad hair days, days where we don't feel like going to the gym etc. None of us can be that good 100% of the time (and if you can, what's your secret?).
So the question is, at what point during an encounter with another person do you unhide your faults? Do you wait 'til a few dates in to start admitting your weaknesses? Or is it better to be upfront with the person right away, despite how big of a turn off it may be? Are there any deep, dark secrets that you would never reveal?
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Comments (21)
An ex of mine told me he wasn't concerned with any of my past or my secrets. He was just interested in the me he knew. He said he was in love with that me- and if one day I wanted to share all that other stuff, he wouldn't mind. He met me on one of my bad hair days, so I never felt too much pressure around him- he was attracted to me on the day I didn't look nice anyways. Things could have really worked out with us if I had been ready for a serious relationship at the time, he's the kind of guy I think girls need (and I didn't want to be the one to change him for whatever girl was right for him).
While I wouldn't LIE about my flaws, unless asked about them, I'd let the person figure them out by themselves. It can happen that something I consider a flaw can be considered endearing and cute by the person, so I'll just be myself and see what happens.
First impressions should be quick and then the next process is to become more familiar with someone rather than trying to maintain such high standards of image like a celebrity.
I say this yet I still rather have a good image in front of my significant other though rationally I know in a relationship you're really trying to get to know someone and figure out whether there is compatibility and chemistry between you and the other person. On the other hand, a great impression increases the chances of good chemistry.
this is a tough one because it just varies from person to person when i meet them. it's not that i hide anything, i'm pretty much an open book, but just because i meet that person at first sight and think it's a good potential, i'll talk to them first and if the conversation is going nowhere then i don't really reveal anything about myself but just try to stay composed and never let them think anything of me except their first impression. if it's someone that after i talk to and still interested, then it goes from there. from there, it's a few dates and if i'm really interested in that person, sex is next. after sex, there's really nothing left to hide.
well that was easy with my SO...we were best friends first AND we lived in res. i look stoned all the time when im not wearing make-up, but he still thought i was hot. go figure.
I don't think there is an actual point: like 4th date or 2nd month but it's more of when both sides get comfortable with each other. As in accidentally burping during dinner and both sides laughing it out instead of getting embarrassed and/or flustered.
first impression you get to know very surface level stuff about me.
your first impression is what s/he will remember throughout the duration of your relationship.
you have to up your game on game day.
even if the relationship only lasts a few dates, at least she'll have a good impression of you.
keep your game face on for as long as possible.
i think slowly things will slip and eventually/comfortably, you'll grow on each other.
I don't really care at first impressions to be honest. I just act like myself as much as I can. I don't care I like to just be myself. It's just so much more fun being myself than trying to impress someone.
First impressions are usually wrong, but i love them anyway. If they dont make a good first impression its not the end of the world, but i usually get stuck them. UHH no..well actually it depends when throwing your flaws out there. Id prefer to 'warm up' to them rather then have it all at once. Once i get to know someone i find their flaws endearing, but right off the bat? Its kinda like..well okay nothings a mystery anymore! Whats the fun in that?
i think it just happens gradually, as you progress into the relationship. the longer you're together and the more you trust them, and the more you let your faults come out.
I don't judge others by first impressions because first impressions of me are usually wrong. I tend to come across as aloof, shy, and condescending upon first meetings...hardly positive traits in a friend or a mate. However, I become more relaxed and approachable as people get to know me (it just takes a long time for me to warm up to someone). My friends and SO find out about my faults/weaknesses by themselves as I don't think it's a good idea to purposely reveal everything about oneself in the beginning. It's not fun when the mystery is gone.
When I'm comfortable with him and vice versa, I think our real side comes out to each other.
I'm pretty open in general, pretty much the same no matter what. My hair always sucks so the chance of someone meeting me on a good hair day is slim to none. I don't blurt out all my secrets or faults, but if they're brought up in conversation I rarely if ever hide anything. I'd rather everyone just be truthful, nothing worse than getting to know someone and then find out later their lives were facades.
i dont judge ppl, but to some extent i think first impressions count
i think first impressions hold a lot of importance with your elders.
I dont know if first impressions are important or not.I see a guy now that I really liked from the get-go, but lost interest in about two weeks to knowing him. He was a big ass.Then, several months later, I was very interested., because I understood him better.
I just gave it time. If the person accepts you for everything, then you found someone special. If not...well too bad.
LOL. it just eventually shows haha
I can't actually hide anything from anyone. Especially when I first meet them. It's a trial period to see if they are worth my company. hee hee.
First impressions matter, but you should be yourself so people get an accurate first impression. The things people hide or keep secret are usually things I would never judge a person for. But I do judge people who lack understanding towards me. I mean if a person needs to air some laundry- it shouldn't be the way it is in this world. Then again, I am soooooooooooooooooooooo tired of being used as a person's therapist. So, hmmm, idk. Its where you are and where they are in that moment, and reall difficult to get beyond because everything is built on it.