I am one of those people that doesn't delete a phone contact "just in case." I have "DO NOT ANSWER"s (1, 2, and 3), ex-lovers I'm never going to call, those I never intended to call or answer, and "James Insane."
I had passed James silently many times on my way to class. But he would soon be motivation to find alternate routes to class. It started with a simple "You're pretty." Obviously this isn't an acceptable introduction, and I wanted to respond in turn, but I was already late for class--I said thanks and kept walking. This was the first of many mistakes.
I began to see him everywhere--each time was more perplexing than the last. It was an alternate universe where James Insane and I not only knew each other, but were good friends. He caught up with me in the quad, cafeteria, on my way to class, near my dorm, the library--anyplace I was, so was James. Luckily he didn't have my phone number...until I gave it to him.
"Hey, I'll call you later." I smiled silently,
actually you won't because you don't have my number.* "Oh wait, hold on...I don't have your number"
F*&K! Finding no way out of it, I reluctantly gave it to him. He asked me what I was doing later that night, I told him I was going to the library. "Oh that's cool, I'll come with you."
Actually it's not, and no you won't. I avoided him whenever I could, but he soon caught on to my new way to get to class and found a new venue for attack. He stopped me in the cafeteria, "Do you want to come to Sexual Chocolate with me tonight?"
I can't say "no" enough. I responded with a simple "Um," my trademark move. I use it in place of a real answer in the multitude of awkward situations I find myself in. And yet, none of my pursuants ever hear that--somehow my lack of answer is translated into "I'm really into you and your high-waisted pants." I stopped eating in the cafeteria after he snuck up behind me. He doesn't know how close he got to a plate of mashed potatoes in his face.
My repeated rebuffs didn't deter him. Though I can't say I was actually afraid of James, he was my height and of very slight build, I couldn't resist the impulse to avoid him at all costs. The one night I went as far as to run from him, he caught up with me anyway. "I was calling your name...why'd you run?" I stood there grinning like an idiot because no words would form.
James went away suddenly second semester. And I never had to physically exert myself again.
*Italics denotes my inner monologue.
Have you ever dealt with someone like this? How did you handle it?
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Comments (15)
Some crazy-ass weirdo I met at an anime convention just happened to live near me (we had struck up a conversation as fellow Japanese pop culture nerds), and would stalk me to school club meetings at the local library. My brother noticed I looked distressed one day (dude, the guy followed me to my car) and stepped in and intimidated the guy and told him if he ever called me, showed up at the club, or looked for me again, that he'd deal with the guy personally. Never bothered me again. I'm still grateful for that.
There's someone at work that compliments me repeated on my looks. I'm polite and nice in return. However, he doesn't stalk me.
If I was in the same position, I would be nice and friendly but ignore or pretend I don't see him if he's literally everywhere. Or maybe if you're friendly enough, he'll back off seeing you as human and attainable in some way (I don't mean leading him on). When we see the flaws in others, we stop infatuating after them.
No, I've never had to deal with that. I'm sure it was really annoying. Maybe you should've just let him know he was bothering you. Even ask, "Are you stalking me?" Whether he takes it as a joke or not, it's a legitimate question.
one that found everyway to see you? yes, and i had to find alternate routes for everything.
Yes, I think he got the message though. Just ignore them & show no interest at all at what they're saying.
Yes. And weirdly enough, his name was James.
Yes. He called me (got my number by a relative of mines). He came to visit me (a relative told him the direction to my house). And constantly follows me whenever he saw me. I bluntly told him I don't see him more than a friend but he never got it. Sad.
wow for stalkers you can't avoid them. you have to be upfront and then call the police if they persist. it sounds funny but things could turn ugly and you never want to go there.
That's a scary thought. I'd probably just punch them in the face. Not that effective as I'm short and cute, but would shock them. I'm also underhanded in the way that I'd get my older, stronger friends to also punch him if he bothers me after that, as well. Hey, a cute little girl has to be cautious.
kind of funny that there is no italicized inner monologue.
I can relate to this post, because I was in the stalker.
I don't get in these situations- It's not in my nature to be timid. A good "fuck off" is usually enough, when it's not I resort to name calling and ridicule. I don't like creepers
Wow. He's soooo creepy.
His name was Andrew. I got scared so I started being mean to him. That didn't change anything, besides the fact that now he was angrily stalking me. Great. He's scary, one time I was just laughing with another guy in class. Low and behold, Andrew goes "drops his pencil" ...picks it up, stabs the other boy in the leg with it. Okay, I moved a few months later. Best thing that's happened to me since.
*Italics denote inner monologue..."
There are no italics, just so you know.
Hmm... I think you need to learn how to say no better from what I've read haha. I have the same problem... but I keep my head down, and people aren't so upfront around here. Lucky me. I attract creepy people.