Thursday, 29 October 2009
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I Can Make Your Bedrock
We've all been there - Your sitting there, minding your own business, and out of the corner of your eye, you see a movement. All of a sudden, a creep pops up beside you, leans in and whispers some Godforsaken pickup line. Come on, guys. We're not going to sleep with you if you say (in your most seductive voice), "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
Here's a list of some pickup lines I've heard/been told (those have an asterisk [*] beside them) and my answers to them are in brackets. Some of them are just dumb...
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
*Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name? ["G-g-g-go away."]
*Hey can you hold this for me while I go for a walk? (Holds out hand.) [Which resulted in: A walk... I thought this one was cute.]
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
My name is Justin. Justincredible.
I can tell by the way you're ignoring me that you want me...
*OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off. ["Oh, my GOSH! GO THE FUCK AWAY!"]
*Bond. James Bond. ["Lost. Get lost."]
I'm easy. Are you?
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
So, as you can see, there's a buttload of pickup lines. Some of them are cute, some cheesy, and others are just plain sick. What's the worst/best/grossest/weirdest pickup line you've ever used/heard/been told?
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KailBugg@xanga
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Comments (43)
#1 pickup line of all time: hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
bash.org
(on why you should give your gf a sack of potatoes instead of roses)
IronChef Foicite: well, there's a lot of reasons
IronChef Foicite: i mean, roses only last like a couple weeks
IronChef Foicite: and that's if you leave them in water
IronChef Foicite: and they really only exist to be pretty
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying
IronChef Foicite: "my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance"
IronChef Foicite: but a potato!
IronChef Foicite: potatos last for fucking ever, man
IronChef Foicite: in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow shit even if you just leave them in the sack
IronChef Foicite: that part alone makes it a good symbol
IronChef Foicite: but there's more!
IronChef Foicite: there are so many ways to enjoy a potato! you can even make a battery with it!
IronChef Foicite: and that's like saying "i have many ways in which I show my love for you"
IronChef Foicite: and potatos may be ugly, but they're still awesome
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying "it doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you."
(sorry.... i just reposted my comment from the other pickup lines post cuz i was lazy and these are epic anyway)
my best line ever!
me: hey you remind me of fast food
her: why?
me: cuz I want to take you out :3
her: awww
me: and then eat you in my car ^-^
her. ...
Haha these are so funny. I had to read the foreign one a few times to understand.
@Kevin_is_a_pirate@xanga - ROFL
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock! -- Hey this is a pretty good song though!! Or maybe because it was funny pickup line there is a song. .. :D
@snapeful@xanga - hahahaha so funny :)
@Kevin_is_a_pirate@xanga - LMAO!!
i actually used this.. to success, last year.
"how much does a polar bear weigh?"
just enough to break the ice.
Wow, is that shirt felt?!?!
No...
Oh, do you want it to be?
I have plenty. :P
(requires two people) One goes to the girl and askes, "Excuse me. Do you see my friend over there? (other guy waves shyly) "Yeah. He's a little shy and all, but he just wanted to know if you think I'm cute."
"Do you take karate? Cuz your body's kickin'!"
"Are your feet tired?" *No. Why?* "Because you were running through my mind all night."
"Want to count shoulders? 1 -2 -3 - 4" (You tap your shoulder furthest from her first, going towards her. As you reach four, your arm is around her resting on her shoulder)
"You remind me of a poem." *Really? Which one?* "You can fall out of a plane. You can fall out of a tree. But the best way to fall is in love with me."
I abhor pickup lines of all types. Instant rejection when tried on me, tyvm. I block them out of my memory or I'd share ones attempted..haha.
@Kevin_is_a_pirate@xanga - LMAO!... was not expecting that.
@Kevin_is_a_pirate@xanga - lmao too funny. ill be laughing over that for a while!
For some reason I can never remember pick up lines, and therefore have never been able to use them. I don't know why, even when girls ask me to tell them a pickup line I can never think of one.
I really like the going for a walk one, that's adorable. I'm going to use this one on my boyfriend. :D
You mean people actually say those?
@snapeful@xanga - Potatoes definitely rot! We had huge issues with this in my apartment a few weeks ago. Not that I disagree with the sentiments, though; I would much rather get a potato than roses.
lawl - "I'm easy, are you?"
LOL. i love the james bond one!
@jupiter312@xanga - oh grossss.... but did you guys have water leaks with it tho? sugar doesn't rot, only if it's in contact with water and stuff.
@snapeful@xanga - I'm not entirely sure what happened, and neither is anyone else. The entire apartment started smelling bad one day, and in a few more days, started smelling like something had died. We searched for the source and found it in a bag of very squishy potatoes.
Holy shit, i didn't know people still used pick up lines... I seem to have good luck with being blunt and brutally honest about my intentions...
Wrost ever, from a movie:
Dumbass: "My friends call me nova"
Sexy Female College Student: "...."
Dumbass: "Casanova"
@dork936@xanga - That's awesome. :)
LOL pick up lines are the best xD